Freeloading CF school mum- class teacher Christmas gift - private school edition

I’d imagine the messages on the back will mean more than the vouchers.

There clearly no good will. Possibly justified, but you never know people’s financial circumstances. Personally, I hate these things. Even in a small class of, say, 12 kids, £240 of vouchers is excessive. If you are doing this then asking for contributions that people can afford is much better. And make it clear people are free to do their own thing. Eg give home made jam, which is what I always did as a child and intended to do before I discovered that I was expected to give vouchers.

We do class collections but just put a link to a Viing on the WhatsApp group- people can join in or not and decide on the amount they want to contribute. At the end of the collection a voucher is sent along with a card with those messages. If people want to do their own thing then it’s fine and no need for chasing everyone, just a couple of reminders of the deadline.

Gawd I’m organising the class gift and was just going to put from the whole class. Am I supposed to only put the names of those who have contributed?
also I’d hate to be told how much to put in!

“it's about dodging the contribution”

She’s not the CF in this scenario

The contribution is not compulsory is it? She has given you the message loud and clear and you refuse to hear it. Why do you care if she gives a separate gift or not? Just leave it now, you have enough money for a nice voucher.
sounds to me like you are another PTA busy body who thinks school is the centre of everyone’s world.

It does yes. If a group of parents left a small child's name off a class gift because a parent hadn't contributed, it would tell me a lot about those parents.

And it would demonstrate that gift is absolutely not about the recipient.

I would expect a teacher to be professional at all times no matter what gift they receive or not.

Hi op, people are giving you a hard time unfairly. I was always very Very grateful to the person who organised the class whip around. I’m sure 99% of class parents are grateful.

I come from a family of primary school teachers (I am not one). They love the personal cards from children, but the 30 x box chocolates/mugs - not so useful. A gift voucher is way better.

You are leaving out no one’s child as far as the teacher is concerned if you don’t say it’s from whole class. As if a teacher thinks the child made the decision not to gift at age 4! Child can still say something nice (even if parent doeasn’t help with card).

The parents who contribute are saying thanks to someone who is nurturing and caring for their precious little one. Teachers know this is a parent not child thing and they will not judge children on it.

Agree with this. I don’t get involved in the teacher’s gift giving for my own reasons that are non financial.
Yabu to hound this women over £20. Surely £280 voucher is plenty for the teacher!! Stop making a drama and leave her alone. Don’t you have something better to do.

What kind of insight to the parents? Do you really think the teacher is goi g to judge a parent who doesn’t give them a £20 tip?

I wouldn't expect a child's name on the card if the parents haven't contributed. It makes absolutely no difference to how you feel about the child but it gives a good insight into the parents.

Why does she need to give a reason, it is a request not a demand.

OP - I think it is terribly petty and mean that you just put the names of the children who have given. I cannot imagine ever acting like this, but then my kids went to state school soooo.

With all the other scenarios being floated about the other parent’s financial situation, if it was a case of being unable to afford £20, why could she not just have said she’ll get the teacher something separately?

I think it’s odds on that she is just trying to dodge the contribution.

This is just loathsome nonsense

Who cares ? Think of all the sadness and misery in this world and you want to leave one child's name off a class card

Get a life.

This is why I don’t contribute to a class thing. How do you know she can do better than a £5. She might not want to! 20 x £5 is still a decent gift for a teacher. It’s twice a year more than one child and can really add up.

To be fair the OP’s situation sound like the lady is being a bit of a CF but there’s something to be said that these class collections have got out of hand.

There is absolutely no way a teacher should be allowed to accept £200 in gifts.

honestly I think £20 per parent is a ridiculous amount of money for a teacher .

i would put from all class on card and say going forward everyone can do individual gifts

I've just remembered that the one and only time we had a joint class Christmas gift, the organiser bought a plain paper pad for not much money and all the children filled it with pictures and messages for the teacher.

All this collecting money just to buy a voucher and signing it as from children who had no involvement in it seems a bit cold.

Honestly, this seems really petty and mean towards the child - who you would be excluding - through no fault of his own. She might be a leech, she might have a financially controlling husband, but ultimately it's the child you are punishing here.

But they can give something. £8.

How about saying to the class that as not everyone contributes, everyone can get their own gifts and do their own thing for the teacher? That way you save the stress of chasing and wondering whether to include cf child's name or not and everyone can gift and spend what they like on the teacher's gift.

So why can't she just say that?
"Money's tight, I spent my bonus on a fat bag of Charlie for our works do, and sorry but you plebs aren't important enough for me to bother with"
Or whatever the reason is.

Ridiculous