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Original poster

I accidentally made old lady walk in rain on crutches- advice?

65 replies

Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 19:36

Hi! Need some opinions / advice on what to do next, if anything.

6 months ago I moved to a lovely house in a friendly area, me and my daughter love living here. All neighbours have been so kind and friendly.
Approx 6pm tonight, me and DD age 4 were waiting outside for her dad to pick her up (she stays at his weekends). She was excited and wanted to wait outside. Outside ours is a very quiet, hardly used lane that only allows 1 car driving down it at a time. It can be accessed from both ends of the lane and you can drive in both directions but if you met an oncoming car one of you would have to reverse which would be very tricky as it’s very narrow. We always wait outside at this time every Friday, never had a problem before.
Her dad drove down the lane as normal and stopped in front of ours to pick her up. I noticed another car was about to start coming down the opposite end of the lane, but then reversed and as far as I knew, drove away. I said to DDs dad is a car coming down, he said no it’s gone. Approx 3 minutes for him to get DD in car, they were being a little slow getting her coat off etc. During all of this it’s pouring with rain and very dark. Suddenly this random older woman appears on foot and shouts at DDs dad “You can’t just park there!” He said “I’m not parking.” and I was like “Eh? What’s the matter?” and she shouts over again not to park there. I shout back he’s picking up my daughter. I realise she must be something to do with the car that had attempted to come down and I say “We’ve moved several times for you today already” as I thought I recognised the car as one me and my daughter moved out the lane (on foot) as it was trying to come down the lane about 5 mins before and earlier on in the day too (realise it might or might not be the same people now, I’m a bit confused who lives there and who drops them off). This car (if it’s the same one) drops someone off at a nearby house and the driver normally thanks us when we stand aside etc, very friendly, polite.
So DDs dad gets her in the car and gets ready to drive off. Then suddenly this second oldish lady starts hobbling down the lane on crutches in the pouring rain. I guess they must have been waiting round the corner in a car for us to move but gave up as they thought we were taking too long / parking. It did look bad tbh seeing her hobbling along like that. DD and her dad drove off and the crutch lady gave him an annoyed look. At the time I was really confused as to what the actual problem was but I guess they must have been waiting around the corner out of sight. It just totally got my back up, the first lady shouting at DDs dad like that out of nowhere (seemed like that at the time). I know it’s just a silly misunderstanding but I feel really upset because everyone here has been SO lovely so far. Should I try to talk to crutch lady again if I see her? Should I apologise or am I owed an apology? Of course if we had been asked politely/ explained etc to move for the crutch lady we would done so straight away. Thanks!

OP posts:
sandyhappypeople · 06/12/2024 21:07

It was unfortunate timing, but if they were in a taxi, the driver may have refused to wait, or if it was their car and the lady drops off the hobbly lady, they may not have felt comfortable coming down and having to reverse all the way out again because they knew the lane was blocked, they obviously waited a certain amount of time for your car to leave and it didn't so they had to walk, which caused their frustration, no one wants to walk in the pissing rain if they don't have to.

Sounds like all in you were about 10 mins blocking the road, which is a bit more than a quick pick up / drop off, your response was weird though, I'd find the hobbly lady and apologise if I was you and explain what happened, if there's one thing I've learned it is to NOT UPSET THE ELDERLY NEIGHBOUR! Obviously they're not all like it, but some have so much time on their hands, the get very territorial, they know and talk to everyone and good god they hold a grudge.. ask me how I know!! It is not worth the aggro IMO.

Original poster
Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 21:05

user6476897654 · 06/12/2024 20:45

I guess they thought you’d be ages as the car didn’t appear at their the end of the lane. Maybe a taxi that had the meter running?
why did it take 3 min to get your DD in the car? Surely if your stood there waiting its a few seconds, particularly if its raining. I’d go and apologise to keep neighbourly relations good.

Thank you, I estimate it took about 3 minutes for her dad to get out, I gave him her bag, she then wanted her coat off. She was already strapped in and DDs dad was climbing in the drivers seat when the first lady appeared and shouted.

OP posts:
BilboBlaggin · 06/12/2024 21:01

The only thing you could have done differently is not have made the comment about moving several times, as it may well have come across as rude. Other than that you did nothing wrong.

The lady who shouted was also rude, but no-one knows what's going on in someone else's world and maybe they'd had a stressful day.

If you're quite new to the neighbourhood, I probably would pop round to offer an apology just to keep the peace. Explain briefly what was happening and maybe let crutches lady know what days/approx time DDs dad visits to pick her up.

Original poster
Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 20:58

DaniMontyRae · 06/12/2024 20:46

How long was your ex blocking the road for? It has to be much longer than 3 mins surely for the person in the car to reverse back, call the person on crutches and the person on crutches to get out of where they were and hobble down the lane.

No, it honestly was about 3 minutes. We always try to be as quick as possible in case another car does come. It took a little time taking her coat off today. The two cars pulled into opposite ends of the lane at the same time. The other car literally pulled in a few steps then reversed and disappeared. Just as DDs dad was about to drive off the first woman appeared and shouted. He then had to wait in the car while the crutch lady walked down the lane.

OP posts:
Original poster
Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 20:54

HolyPeaches · 06/12/2024 20:47

You did nothing wrong OP.

You weren’t to know there was an old lady coming on crutches.

And they weren’t to know your daughter’s dad was only going to be a few minutes max.

In the rare case this happens again could he pop the hazard lights on just so it doesn’t look like he’s parked up.

Thank you, yes he had lights on and we were stood nearby, although I’m not sure if they saw us

OP posts:
Original poster
Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 20:53

Thesheerrelief · 06/12/2024 20:38

Both you and shouting lady sound very combative. Saying you'd moved for them several times already made things worse.

True

OP posts:
Original poster
Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 20:52

WrongWrongWrongAgain · 06/12/2024 20:42

So a retired and at least temporarily incapacitated elderly lady was waiting in a taxi with the meter running (I'm not at all sure they are allowed to run the meter is stationary but the lady might have been worried about it) or keeping her friend waiting and you seem to have shouted at them that you've moved out of their way several times already today which just comes across like you're being rude and impatient with them. For the events you describe to have happened he must have been there longer than 3 minutes. I don't think you and your ex come out of this story very well at all, even though your visitor had as much right to pick up and drop off there as the other car did, you have come across as rude and they presumably have the impression of you that you'd rather be selfish than help an elderly lady on crutches get in out of the rain. Yes yes I know that wasn't your intention, but that's the memory they will have.
I'd bake something or take a packet of biscuits round tomorrow to apologise for any confusion and try to make amends. Good relationships with neighbours are priceless, and even if you're not worried about upsetting the lady, word travels.

Show quote history

Thank you, the lady is about 50-55 ish I would say. I don’t necessarily think it was a taxi but I did wonder if it was as they seemed in a rush to be out of it/ the car and through the door. No it honestly was about 3 minutes, which is why I was so confused initially as to what the problem was and I thought the other car had driven away anyway (didn’t have a clue a lady on crutches was in the car or that she was about to start walking down, just recognised the car as possibly one that we let pass previously) Yes I wish I hadn’t said that now, but I didn’t understand why the first lady was so angry and impatient with us.

OP posts:
HolyPeaches · 06/12/2024 20:47

You did nothing wrong OP.

You weren’t to know there was an old lady coming on crutches.

And they weren’t to know your daughter’s dad was only going to be a few minutes max.

In the rare case this happens again could he pop the hazard lights on just so it doesn’t look like he’s parked up.

Glitchymn1 · 06/12/2024 20:47

Maybe the bloke the giving her a lift is a nasty git- won’t wait.

DaniMontyRae · 06/12/2024 20:46

How long was your ex blocking the road for? It has to be much longer than 3 mins surely for the person in the car to reverse back, call the person on crutches and the person on crutches to get out of where they were and hobble down the lane.

user6476897654 · 06/12/2024 20:45

I guess they thought you’d be ages as the car didn’t appear at their the end of the lane. Maybe a taxi that had the meter running?
why did it take 3 min to get your DD in the car? Surely if your stood there waiting its a few seconds, particularly if its raining. I’d go and apologise to keep neighbourly relations good.

Original poster
Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 20:43

Trumptonagain · 06/12/2024 20:35

Where did they end up parking?

I guess they either got dropped off round the corner by a driver or they managed to get a space on the busier road.

OP posts:
HaddawayAndShite · 06/12/2024 20:42

Do not take a present as a PP suggested, you didn't do anything wrong!! They know the woman that lives on that street so at least she should know it's a nightmare to drive and drop off / park on and wouldn't have been the first time they've had to stop, reverse wait for an obstruction. If they were so time pressed or desperate to get the lady home they could have approached you and explained the situation better or simply asked what the deal was / how long you would be rather than getting Aggy. Just leave it, I doubt anyone would mention it again anyway.

WrongWrongWrongAgain · 06/12/2024 20:42

Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 19:52

She was coming back from somewhere, being dropped off in her friends car or possibly a taxi.

Show quote history

So a retired and at least temporarily incapacitated elderly lady was waiting in a taxi with the meter running (I'm not at all sure they are allowed to run the meter is stationary but the lady might have been worried about it) or keeping her friend waiting and you seem to have shouted at them that you've moved out of their way several times already today which just comes across like you're being rude and impatient with them. For the events you describe to have happened he must have been there longer than 3 minutes. I don't think you and your ex come out of this story very well at all, even though your visitor had as much right to pick up and drop off there as the other car did, you have come across as rude and they presumably have the impression of you that you'd rather be selfish than help an elderly lady on crutches get in out of the rain. Yes yes I know that wasn't your intention, but that's the memory they will have.
I'd bake something or take a packet of biscuits round tomorrow to apologise for any confusion and try to make amends. Good relationships with neighbours are priceless, and even if you're not worried about upsetting the lady, word travels.

Thesheerrelief · 06/12/2024 20:38

Both you and shouting lady sound very combative. Saying you'd moved for them several times already made things worse.

allthatfalafel · 06/12/2024 20:35

If your 4 year old is going to be outside in the cold, dark and rain anyway, can you not just walk her down the road to a more suitable place for pick up?

Trumptonagain · 06/12/2024 20:35

Where did they end up parking?

Original poster
Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 20:34

sprigatito · 06/12/2024 20:07

If the first woman had explained the situation instead of shouting like a lunatic, maybe some sort of compromise could have been found. Crutch lady should blame her, not you.

Thank you, the visibility isn’t great because it’s narrow, was dark and rainy so it was unclear what the problem was initially. Of course we’d have moved if we’d known. He was moving anyway, just taking a while.

OP posts:
Original poster
Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 20:30

Pluvia · 06/12/2024 20:22

I think it's a shame it ended how it did, OP, and I'd feel like a shit too. Not easy walking on crutches at the best of time, but in the cold and rain...

I'd go and see her tomorrow and take a token gift. Clearly she's had some kind of accident or surgery. I'd apologise for the misunderstanding and say if I'd realised it was her and that she was on crutches I'd have made him move off quickly. I think I'd be feeling really stressed if I was trying to drive an injured friend to their front door, only to find a car blocking my way with no apparent intention of moving off.

Thank you. I’m not sure if this makes any difference but he wasn’t actually blocking her house which is further down the lane but if the car dropping her off had carried on the two cars would have eventually met in the middle and one would have had to reverse, hence I guess why they made the decision to hang back

OP posts:
Original poster
Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 20:25

HeddaGarbled · 06/12/2024 20:21

Hmm. IMO, the polite response to “you can’t park there” would have been “sorry, we’ll only be a minute”, not “we’ve moved several times for you today already”. That seems very combative to me.

Yes I know 🙈 not my best response 😂 it was just so unexpected, I didn’t even notice her there until I heard her shout

OP posts:
Funnywonder · 06/12/2024 20:25

DanielaDressen · 06/12/2024 19:57

I would maybe go and see crutch lady and explain that you would never park there or allow a visitor to park there. That if they ever see a car outside yours again it is either picking someone up or dropping them off and will only be a few minutes.

I agree with this. For the sake of neighbourly harmony. It was a misunderstanding on their part and is easily rectified.

Original poster
Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 20:22

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 06/12/2024 20:12

@Orangejumper222 so its alright for her to pick up and drop off but its not alright for your ex to pick up and drop off?? thats sounds a bit unfair to me!

Thank you, I guess they thought he was parking or going to be there too long. As it was raining and dark I’m not sure they saw him getting DD in, just a van stationary with its lights on.

OP posts:
Pluvia · 06/12/2024 20:22

I think it's a shame it ended how it did, OP, and I'd feel like a shit too. Not easy walking on crutches at the best of time, but in the cold and rain...

I'd go and see her tomorrow and take a token gift. Clearly she's had some kind of accident or surgery. I'd apologise for the misunderstanding and say if I'd realised it was her and that she was on crutches I'd have made him move off quickly. I think I'd be feeling really stressed if I was trying to drive an injured friend to their front door, only to find a car blocking my way with no apparent intention of moving off.

HeddaGarbled · 06/12/2024 20:21

Hmm. IMO, the polite response to “you can’t park there” would have been “sorry, we’ll only be a minute”, not “we’ve moved several times for you today already”. That seems very combative to me.

Original poster
Orangejumper222 · 06/12/2024 20:19

sunsmiles · 06/12/2024 20:02

It's a storm in teacup and not worth giving much thought to, but I can see it from their side. Car doors open, he's out of his car and faffing about for 3 minutes (totally normal timeframe to get kids in the car) he has parked and blocked the road - it's not like he did a drive by drop-off or jump-in that takes seconds. So she was right to say 'you can't park there'.

Out of interest, how do you have furniture delivered?

Haha quite difficultly!
I actually have my own very tight parking space accessed off the lane, which is very hard to park in (took me a while to master it!) Technically I could move my car on a Friday for DDs dads van to park in and collect her but there’s not much space for me to park on the nearby busier road and it’s simply never been a problem before. I think crutch lady also has a space but another car (her car?) was parked in it at the time.
I got a fridge delivered recently, there’s no way they could have fit into my parking space so they had to find a space on the road and wheel it round.

OP posts:
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