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AIBU?

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Original poster

To stop DS going to a party as a punishment?

141 replies

nomoreparty · 06/12/2024 18:39

DS trashing the house is a real issue - he just chucks cushions off the sofa, empties drawers of toys onto the floor - the house is permanently trashed and I’m fed up of it.

Today he went upstairs and threw the contents of the laundry basket everywhere along with the piles of clean washing and some old clothes from the spare room i was going to sell. It honestly looks like it’s been ransacked.

He was booked into a Christmas party tomorrow and I’m considering telling him he’s not going now. I’m absolutely fed up. AIBU?

OP posts:
Anon1274 · 06/12/2024 18:50

Bloody hell op I thought you were going to say 15 or something. Make him clean it up (supervised) and ban his screen time for a bit or something. The part of his brain for impulse control hasn’t even formed yet, that’s an unbelievably harsh punishment for such a small child!

MumChp · 06/12/2024 18:49

nomoreparty · 06/12/2024 18:43

Sorry that would help. 4.

I can’t have him clean up. It’s taking hours and instructions him where this would go and that would go would take ten times longer.

No. You dont punish a 4 yo like that. You teach and support him sort his stuff. You are the grown up!

applestewing · 06/12/2024 18:49

Parent the child in front of you

irrelevant how your friends children behave

EskSmith · 06/12/2024 18:47

nomoreparty · 06/12/2024 18:43

Sorry that would help. 4.

I can’t have him clean up. It’s taking hours and instructions him where this would go and that would go would take ten times longer.

It's not about him helping making it quicker - it's about him understanding how much work it takes to put right. I seriously suggest that you make him 'help' ( yes it will take longer) with at least one part of the clean up.

Original poster
nomoreparty · 06/12/2024 18:47

It’s not a birthday child - it’s just a Christmas party at a local village hall, run by the village committee.

OP posts:
Original poster
nomoreparty · 06/12/2024 18:47

It wasn’t on my watch but either way i would have thought at four we don’t have to be in the same room as him all the time. I don’t know if my expectations are off but my friends children seem to be able to play upstairs while adults are downstairs without destroying the house. If my expectations are off that’s fair enough.

OP posts:
EskSmith · 06/12/2024 18:45

YABU
How did he do all this unsupervised? Repercussions for a 4 year old should be immediate, it is unreasonable to both him and the birthday child as others have said.

applestewing · 06/12/2024 18:45

4? How did he did he make that much mess without someone noticing?

Merrymess · 06/12/2024 18:45

Depends on his age but I'd make him help to clean it all up but I wouldn't stop him going to the party.

Original poster
nomoreparty · 06/12/2024 18:43

Sorry that would help. 4.

I can’t have him clean up. It’s taking hours and instructions him where this would go and that would go would take ten times longer.

OP posts:
Attheendoftheday86 · 06/12/2024 18:42

As pp said, give him the option to make a good choice and tidy it up otherwise the consequence is missing the party.

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/12/2024 18:42

ChaosHol1 · 06/12/2024 18:41

Age is important but I wouldn't punish the next day for something done today.

Nor would I punish the birthday child for my child's issue. Especially if the poor kid has a birthday this close to Xmas.

ChaosHol1 · 06/12/2024 18:41

Age is important but I wouldn't punish the next day for something done today.

DaftyLass · 06/12/2024 18:40

I would say they needed to help you clean it all up, and if they don't, you have to stay home to clean, so they won't be going out.

EskSmith · 06/12/2024 18:40

BeachRide · 06/12/2024 18:39

Age?

Exactly!!

BeachRide · 06/12/2024 18:39

Age?