To be absolutely furious with my father?

Don't have to have kids to understand.
Just because someone has a different opinion, doesn't mean they don't understand.

There are childless people who agree and those who don't.

Same as some people with kids have said they'd not let their siblings go into care and some who would.

I've known someone take on a friend's child even though she had 4 of her own.

And a family member with two kids refuse to take a opharned only child as it would be too much for her.

It's a personal choice, not a childless/parent choice and dismissing someone's point based on being childless isn't great.

certainly medical miracle.!!

When I was growing up, all my relatives lived into the eighties and beyond. It came as a total shock to lose both before they hit 65. My Mum had wanted another but realised that she might leave behind a primary aged child. Or be doing the University thing in her late sixties or early seventies! She'd also have been horrified at the idea that I'd somehow of taken them on. It's not just one child either, it's three!

Your Dad is being a shortsighted fool. I'm sure you wouldn't want them abandoned but he can't assume you'd be able to take them on.

Me too.
The link is genetics.
No way would I entertain it.
Neither would my husband who has zero connection to them.

Her father has never been around for her.
Just another selfish loser thinking he gets to decide.

Not a fxxking chance would I do it and Inwould be spelling it out to him.

Half siblings.
That I have no relationship with?
After raising my own children. Planning my own life?

Absolutely.

You would send your siblings into the care system rather than look after them? Wow. Thats brutal.

Your Dad sounds really selfish, and the new wife wanting to have a baby in her 50's is delusional.

they already have kids- why have more when they will be geriatric when those kids are young adults.

So utterly selfish.

This.
Unless it's a surrogate?

It's purely speculation, it's nothing to get het up about.

No of course not. But it nonetheless puts the person in an awkward position to decline and, given I don’t think it sounds as though the father was a very full time figure for op, it’s a bit rich he would ( without even asking before presuming) expect her to take on his Dc full time. It’s more than he did for op. I can see why she’s put out. He sounds a presumptuous user.

I would bet money that most people with young children don't have wills.

Of course, but if somebody specifies you without asking, you are under no obligation to take on the role.

They have a 10 year old already.
Why on earth go for more.
She must have family near her.

He's out of order. Well his new wife must be younger so she can deal with them.

You may hate to think that could be the case, but it is, no matter how much you dislike it. I was in fairly similar circumstances and indeed had to move out at 17 and had no home for years after - someone took me in at first and then I managed to rent.

It's pure luck if things go well, though most people really don't like to face that. But you can only speak for yourself. Guilt tripping the OP because she doesn't want to (putatively) take on 3 extra children she barely knows (300 miles away!) for a father she hardly sees and who was a poor father when she was young is really not ok.

Normally when you make a Will your lawyer will ask you to specify guardians and the strong advice is to ask them first.

Because it's quite normal NOT to have this sort of discussion. I certainly haven't.

It really isn’t. Everyone I know with young children has discussed this and made stipulations in their wills.

No one has suggested otherwise, @AnnaFrith. The point is that the first the OP even heard of the idea was her father saying he’d assume that’s what would happen.

But she hasn't been 'designated as legal guardian'. You can't be forced to be a legal guardian.

Even if her father named her as guardian in his will, which would be a bit batshit without discussing it first, she would only acquire parental responsibility if she consented.

Because it's quite normal NOT to have this sort of discussion. I certainly haven't.

And because the OP has not actually had any obligations placed upon her.
In the unlikely event that both her father and his wife die, it is entirely up to OP to decide if and how much support she wants to give their children.

It's probably not going to happen, that they both die young.
You do need to ask them to make sure that they have good life insurance and to have a plan for what would happen.

In another ten years the oldest of their children could be a carer but would need a large pot of money to help.
Boarding school for part of the year could be an option.

Cruel to be kind @Berlinlover

Yes your father sounds totally self-absorbed op.

I wouldn’t undertake to take on his inappropriately young children either BUT, given that, I do think you owe it to him to clarify that so they can make other arrangements. It’s only fair. I’d say I wasn’t sure if you were joking or not, but I want to give you the chance to put appropriate plans in place.

They're unbelievably selfish having a child in their 50s so I am not surprised that they're selfish in other ways too. Not your circus, not your monkeys. They should have used the ivf money on therapy!

What on earth are you talking about?