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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely furious with my father?

486 replies

PortaSix · 06/12/2024 13:51

My father and is wife are both in their 50’s and are having another baby. None of my business, it’s not what I would want to do but it’s up to them.

We were at a family gathering and the subject of death came up and what would happen with our children. My dad then announced “oh I just assumed Porta would take them in”

Like, wtf?! Did he not think this was a conversation to have BEFORE having babies in old age? They have a 10 year old, a 3 year old and now another one on the way.

I’ve had my babies. I had mine in my early 20’s so that my 40 my kids will be grown. I do not want to take on any ther children. I am so mad that he just thought I would take on his children like this without any sort of discussion. Aibu?

OP posts:
AgnesX · 06/12/2024 13:56

At some point you need to be crystal clear that you wouldn't be taking on any of his children. Its a conversation that's unlikely to be received well.

Wellingtonspie · 06/12/2024 13:56

Yeah that would be a big fat nope from me.

Original poster
PortaSix · 06/12/2024 13:55

DizzyCow63 · 06/12/2024 13:54

You are totally not being unreasonable to feel that way, can you follow up with your Dad and make your feelings clear? Although, is there another option? Realistically if something were to happen to them, is there another relative who would be in a position to take them in?

There are other older relatives, but I just don’t understand why they haven’t put thought into this. They know they are older parents, this should have been a big discussions for them.

OP posts:
Neolara · 06/12/2024 13:55

No you're not being remotely unreasonable to be annoyed.

But how are they having another baby if his wife is in her 50s?

Katemax82 · 06/12/2024 13:54

This is ridiculous..he needs a proper legal agreement over who will care for his kids if he dies young and you can of course say no so he can find someone else. Is his wife in her 50s? My husband is 53 and I'm 42 we are having a baby, but I have no intention of dying young and leaving my kids to his grown up son to look after!

Original poster
PortaSix · 06/12/2024 13:54

ZippyDoodle · 06/12/2024 13:53

She's having another baby in her 50s? Is she a medical miracle?

IVF

OP posts:
DizzyCow63 · 06/12/2024 13:54

You are totally not being unreasonable to feel that way, can you follow up with your Dad and make your feelings clear? Although, is there another option? Realistically if something were to happen to them, is there another relative who would be in a position to take them in?

Original poster
PortaSix · 06/12/2024 13:54

loropianalover · 06/12/2024 13:52

What was your response to him saying that?

I just laughed and went “I don’t think so!” And the convo awkwardly moved on.

OP posts:
ZippyDoodle · 06/12/2024 13:53

She's having another baby in her 50s? Is she a medical miracle?

loropianalover · 06/12/2024 13:52

What was your response to him saying that?

wizzywig · 06/12/2024 13:52

Time for a wee chat with him. But yes very unreasonable of him. Is he usually like this? What did his partner say?