Colleague has complained about me using wrong pronouns

Exactly. Even the 'non binary' client knows this, as she chose a charity FOR WOMEN.

Beggars belief really.

Again - non binary people don't exist. They are all male or female.

Except autocorrect doesn't change they to she does it. The OP had to choose to use the wrong pronouns. Okay she forgot, but apparently forgot multiple times which is why it was raised, meaning it was tolerated the first couple of times before the colleague felt the need to raise it.

You know, so many people on this thread have stated that they would deliberately call the person She/Her just to piss them off and make a point. If so many people weren't doing that all day every day in society, maybe non binary people would give the benefit of the doubt, assume it was a slip of the tongue and move on. But when theya re repeatedly misgendered time and time again and ridiculed for pointing out it matters to them, how are they supposed to know if you are trying to offend them or if it was a genuine mistake? And how are they supposed to have endless patience?

Back of the net.....😆

@bagginsatbagend

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · Today 15:08
**
quote: ‘That appstore anyone who has MH/isn't ND/has Trauma etc.’

My question : ‘So what does this sentence mean? Is there some sort of app which helps someone remember other people’s ‘pronouns’?
BTW what is ‘ger’? Is that another neologism?’

Your reply : ‘To mean it clearly mean ‘applies’ & was some sort of autocorrect’

Ah so it was a mistake, and should be overlooked? Rather like the OP’s original mistake in an internal communication? Or are only people who don’t agree with you to be held to high standards of accuracy in their communications?

I guess so, since your reply also lacks a bit of clarity , with the repetition of ‘to mean’ ….. but you see, I have made the effort to understand your point.

One way street, this tolerance.

it's just bollocks, we cannot do anything better than call this out and clearly say it's mad

She is a she, assuming she was born with a vagina. The world has gone mad, referring to yourself as a they or them?! What if people start insisting they identify as a gerbil, its just as ridiculous

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

Yes they are

As mad as someone who insists the earth is flat or the sky is green or pigs can fly or humans can change sex or that they are actually a cat

mad

quite quiet mad

Stop affirming these idiots

I would ignore it BUT I would be extremely careful and only work with her if I absolutely had to. I would never offer advice or help unless specifically asked to by Management.

As she is so keen on Management, guide her to them for help with her cases.

She obviously knows everything anyway so let her get on with it.

To mean it clearly mean ‘applies’ & was some sort of autocorrect

and pages and pages of comments making out they are the scourge of society is hate.

//

Except that's not actually happened

The butter wouldn't melt "we don't hate people we're just having a discussion" claims don't wash. You have a problem with non binary people. Just own it.

//

And we're the dramatic ones?

I don't have a problem with non binary people and certainly don't hate them. I think they perhaps have too much spare time on their hands as really, to get so upset over an accidental use of "she" reeks of privilege. But that's not having a problem with or hating a person.

What I do have a problem with and hate is how an apparent small minority of people squealing they just want to exist, live their authentic lives etc are very comfortable enforcing the speech of others and reporting them for an honest mistake. And when their allies flood Twatter/X with calls for violence and sacking of GC women NOT ONE of these people call their attack dogs off. Not one. Their silence speaks volumes of.

Some may call this hateful .

Colleague is a snake and best avoided. Can you hand your mentoring/support of this colleague over to another member of staff?

You CANNOT be compelled to use someone chosen pronouns. ESPECIALLY around non-binary which DOES NOT EXIST

Have you got a supervision contract or similar @CandyCane103 ? It might be revisiting to explore the best way for you both to think about feedback (both negative and positive) and how this works in future.

I'd be a bit irritated too!

I wonder how history will recall all this non-binary nonsense.
It's just ridiculous.

I'd make a point of only ever using their name in future. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of using 'they'. I don't respect shit stirring little clypes.

@Ponoka7
‘That appstore anyone who has MH/isn't ND/has Trauma etc.’
So what does this sentence mean? Is there some sort of app which helps someone remember other people’s ‘pronouns’?

BTW what is ‘ger’? Is that another neologism?

I don't believe in all that non-binary nonsense so I'd be using she whether she likes it or not. I won’t be forced to go against my beliefs

Of course. Especially if he/she/they/He could change my water into wine.

Or, if it would contravene my workplace inclusivity and diversity policy otherwise. Because that would just be shooting myself in the foot, for a thing which is very easily avoided.

The thing is, the responses shouting BIGOT, don't give a lot of faith that if the OP were to go and apologise and say "it was accidental, I will try not to do it again", that response would be reasonable anyway.

The colleague has already taken the nuclear option and reported her without giving the benefit of the doubt. They clearly are overly defensive about it. They could have approached the OP and said something but they chose not to.

If the OP raises the subject, I wouldn't have the faith that the colleague wouldn't go off the deep end. The OP is much better just to put her head down and avoid the other person to avoid any potential conflict as it's likely the OP will be the one who ends up on the worse end.

Regardless of any malice or intent. And certainly not in terms of hate.

This is about the other colleague breaking trust in the working relationship and creating an atmosphere where everyone else finds themselves walking on eggshells.

In that scenario I really would just let them get on with. Mainly because you are never going to get it right because the other party is overly defensive to an unhealthy degree.

your manager has handled it correctly - just leave it - but be wary of her since a normal person would have just mentioned it directly to you rather than made a complaint.

And those that pretend there is 'no potential downside' to manipulating and bullying women over a social contagion or posible mental illness are doing....what exactly? Pissing women off even more? Did you even consider that?

Its a big problem if you have been taught to believe this . Or worse still, if you are teaching this belief to vulnerable people.

I have a first name that can be used for men or women, let’s say it’s Chris. I have had people assume that I’m male ( when I’m a woman ) all my life. I just correct them and it’s fine.

Sometimes they mispell my name too eg Kristine instead of Christine. Again I correct then and usually it’s fine.

Sometimes they get the wrong surname and I correct them ( if I can be bothered ).

Almost every single adult woman I know has been addressed with the wrong title eg Mrs instead of Dr or Ms. We all deal with this

Sometime computers or humans or autocorrect or outlook or mailing lists get it wrong . If we all went around telling ourselves

• that it means we are unimportant, no one case about us and our “ facts” that our wishes aren't being respected and that the world is against us

we would all become mentally ill . You can’t build your own self worth and self image around controlling everyone else in the world to do everything exactly the way you want.

Im a woman even if a computer calls me Mx Smith.
I have a PhD even if a receptionist call me Ms Smith.
I am Korean even if someone assumes I am Chinese.

Other people’s typing or linguistic errors don’t determine my reality.