It's who you know, not what you know

Every job I ever got was through a contact. In my mid 40's and have never written a CV. My DP is the same... he's never even been interviewed.
Both media-ish jobs.

Yes, I would say that is fair. WC do have connections here too, from school friends, to people their families work for. There's a huge mix of classes here.

I've also managed to network accidentally - bestie works in huge law firm in Central by a bridge 😶 when younger I'd sometimes join department parties and/or Christmas and I'd meet loads of people. My background isn't law of any kind, but sometimes I got offered admin type etc if I ever needed it or got bored or wanted to "work there for a bit".

So there are definitely many ways to network, same at some bars I'd meet all sorts.

In the arts though, almost all networking, I do agree.

I remember Niall Breslin (irish musician) wrote in his book that he got some big finance job, when he was young and he hadn't a clue what he was doing in the job.

He said he had got the job from his sporting connections.

Yeah I have lived in Ireland too. And the connections thing is very big there too.

There was nepotism in the company I worked in, in Dublin. They hired people's daughters, sons, granddaughters over better qualified people

The GAA is also a very strange thing in Ireland. It's not just a sport , it affects a lot of different aspects of people's lives there. Especially in the smaller villages.

I's very good for the community, but I think it's become a bit like a cult.

As you said. GAA players get the good jobs.

GAA players will hire other GAA players.

It shouldn't be like that.

I saw an Irish comedian do a jokey video online about cults in Ireland and he said that the GAA was the biggest cult there is.

I also think it not true to say its not as extreme than Ireland - so many people have historically emigrated because they couldn't move into the middle class there - same as other Europeans. Permanent jobs and mortgages were harder to get than in England and they are both factors in creating a secure base to progress from. I think the class system in Ireland is very strong, at times stronger and more rigid than the UK its just not perceived as such and plays out differently - look at the traveller community, for example they are not even recognised as part of the class system, they sit outside it in their own country.

I think this is a hugely neglected area of career guidance. I’m in Ireland where it’s not so much about class, but there are networks based on other things - GAA connections, politics, schools etc. I was a lot like you op, wide eyed and believing that it was all about hard work and good grades but it only got me so far, Dh, wouldn’t hold a candle to me academically but has always understood how to work the system and his career went from strength to strength.

There are no easy rides in real life and those people are shielded from some blows but not others that a wc person wouldn't experience or would see coming and know how to deflect. There's an unhealthy focus on background rather than the focus being on where you are going ( I get that we are raising the issue of inequality) but the focus tends to be on what w/ c people lack rather than what they have, a focus instead of measuring them up to a standard seen as m/ c or rich without really understanding the internal politics and dynamics of that identity.

What is the field?

Is there any reason why you can’t just say what industry it is?

My guess would be advertising or publishing.

A large chunk of what you're calling soft skills are actually class markers in the UK

It's obviously really easy to get a pair of employers to facilitate your career advancement like this.

Id add to this thread that its often not just connections but also soft skills.

Often the stereotype "bright working class kid" might be very successful in terms of academic skills but they may underestimate the importance of softer skills that private schools work hard to instill and which can be useful in these jobs. Communication, social skills, the art of influencing people, an easy sales patter, polished manners, exposure to a broad range of "cultural capital" including music/the arts.

Wild stab in the dark here, but did you do history of art?

Even if I'm wrong on this detail, you're definitely correct about how recruitment works in the UK in some career areas, and in the US too in the same areas.

STEM is the key to career success for people who are outsiders in any given society.

I wanted to be an accountant.
Firstly I was never told in school that I didn't need an accountancy degree to start accountancy training after graduation. I just needed a good degree classification.
Which i did get, but I could have been enjoying myself doing philosophy or drama- not spending draining hours doing tax.
I was the first in my family to go to uni so I had noone to advise me.
.
I did make it through and get taken on by a firm who were going to train me and pay for my exams. But the pay was £6,500 in 2004. I couldn't live on that. So I had to turn the job down and rethink.

I ended up doing management accounting as you could work in any companies accounts office, earning a normal wage, my first wage was £20,000 but you had to go to tech at night and pay for your own exams. And you were never qualified to audit or give tax advise, but to prepare a companies internal accounts.

It was a leap, but it was a job. I became friends with a lot of people mu year doing the "real" accountancy course. They were all being backed by the bank of mum and dad. I had been unbelievably lucky to get a job offer as most of them were offered by contacts of their parents.

Of course now they all earn more than I ever will, or at least have the potential to. But I did the best with what I had.

A BIG part of WC kids and uni is going into it blind with no help and ending up studying the wrong course. If the careers advice at school is crap there's no back up from home.
My housemates at uni were all the firsts, all WC and we can see now in our 40s clearly where the disadvantages came

YANBU. ExH befriended someone who has extensive connections with people who "can help" and as a result he's managed to wangle opportunities for our daughter that he & I could never have got for her by ourselves. Although I am grateful to this "friend" for doing it, it does seem unfair to the other kids in her peer group who don't have these contacts.

So work 2 days per week in a proper job, and do this industry for free 3 days per week. You'll earn about the same.

... and I disagree that means the "system" is broken. It doesn't benefit someone working class to be in art or fashion generally if they don't have financial backers. Those industries are wildly underpaid... until suddenly being wildy overpaid, but only for an lucky few. A friend in her 40s in the film industry was still earning in the low £30ks a few years ago despite industry recognitions coming out of her ears. She muddles on complaining, and lives the life of a pauper. She can get any job, but none of them seem to pay much and they all want every hour going; she had a bit more success recently but it's literally taken decades. If she'd been put off by the poor pay in her first year then it would have been much better for her financially; her organisation, design and other talents could have led to a much more comfortable life.

How old have you got to before you'd realised that !

Someone staying in their parents' flat really doesn't affect you in any way @mirrormirror5, you mustn't let those green eyes get in the way of working with others.

I guess you wanted fashion or art galleries, where it is common, but I'm trying to explain that it simply is not true that you "can't avoid to work for free" in most industries. You might need to take a role below what you hoped to work your way up - but would likely arrive at a certain level after a year or two if you're bright. Some industries like financial services, engineering, IT or consultancy it would be really very weird to find someone working for free outside education placements.