Is £100 a week spending enough?

I can't answer for OP, but DH and I have equal personal spends which is transferred to our personal bank accounts, and everything else is joint.

We do this precisely because we don't want each other to be monitoring what each other spends. otherwise I'd disapprove of most of the stuff DH gets

OP already said DH and her get the same amount to spend

Yes but why are grown adults being given pocket money? I couldn't bear to share an account with someone and have them monitoring what I spend. By all means have a shared account that you both pay into for family expenses, but aside from that it's better to manage your own finances.

Even my grandparents who were married for decades had their own bank accounts

She's been quite clear it's for personal spending only. If it covers a wider range that's her choice to spend it on those things.

I'm finding it slightly ironic that OP and her DH are doing the very thing that is always suggested on family finance threads - having equal money for personal spending - and some people are still suggesting that her DH is the issue.

Yes but her's does seem to need to cover much wider range and seems very inflexible.

I have a lot more spending money and only spend £100 per week of it and I find it plenty.

Last year I switched to McDonald’s or Greggs for coffees out unless it’s my fortnightly social coffee out with my friend. I have a cineworld card so can always have a night out either really cheaply or I spend nothing.

I eat out without my DH about once a fortnight and always use some sort of discount code apart from in December when there aren’t really any offers on.

I buy clothes every week, get a wash cut and blow dry every 7 weeks (£33 plus £5 tip. I colour my own hair and do my own eyebrows and occasionally nails. I spend about £800 per year on Botox and fillers and little on makeup.

Travel is only about £5.

OK, my personal.spends per month are:

Hair £75
Coffees £30
Parking: £30
Cosmetics/skincare: £40
Clothes/shoes/bags: £120 (averageish)
Drinks/dinner with the girls: £80
Uber: £50
Cards and the odd gift through the year £30
Vitamins: £20
Magazine/book/£10

That's a rough tally and not accounting for: petrol, car tax and insurance, servicing, Christmas. I don't have to scrimp but neither am I the last of the big spenders.

OP already said DH and her get the same amount to spend

Is this a good old MN husband problem not a budget problem? Are you a SAHM without access to joint account or a closely monitored joint account?
As others have said lots of items on your list aren't really "fun" money for you.

I don't think this is to include bills and household food bill

If 100 is the maximum your budget can allow per week you have to manage with that, if you create a separate budget line for clothes travel toiletries it maybe then you will only have 50 a week as completely discretionary. Personally we have 150 per month but just now it has to include clothes and makeup and gym swimming will be easier next year but right now we just can't afford more

I can spend £100 a week if I buy cheap brand food like savers etc then go charity shop buy some cool stuff then buy gas /electric £20 each but with other bills I don't know

Spend what you want on what you want after you have paid the bills and bought the food.

It's all relative

I have about £1400 a month for myself after we've both paid bills, family expenses and I've put some money in savings

It's enough of course but I mostly manage to spend it despite not having a lavish lifestyle. It covers things like clothes / shoes, beauty products, socialising, gym membership and Les Mills On Demand membership around £50, lunches when I'm in the office, gifts for my family. Obviously December tends to be more expensive.

I appreciate I have more than many but I think we all learn to live within our means (within reason). I still avoid things like Nero coffees other than about once or twice a month or if I'm meeting a friend as they're so expensive at around £4 a go.

Only you know if it's enough money for you or not. Even the £100 gym is reasonable if it's something you enjoy and can afford.

Are you in the South East? If a cafe or deli near me tried almost a fiver for coffee it would go under. A take out decent coffee is £2.50 to £3.00 where I live. The cheapest cafe has tea at £1.40 and coffee at £2.00. We do have a Costa in town and I suppose coffee is more in there but I don’t use it. Known locally as Costa Lotta.

I have lunch out and the occasional coffee out maybe two or three times a week. I can only use bloody Clinique make up so it’s expensive but I don’t wear it every day. I am retired hence my lunching out life.

Even national chains have different regional prices sometimes. I know DS mate at University in Falmouth was paying loads more for exactly the same food item at a Weatherspoons than DS did here in the dark satanic mills of the North.

£100 per week is plenty where I live, my jacket spud with tuna mayo and a side salad with a mug of tea was £5.65 eat in yesterday in a very sweet little cafe near me. When I go home to the tourist trap town on the South coast I grew up in I would expect to pay close to double that.

I'd keep a track for a week of how your are spending the money exactly and then assess each cost for benefit/worth.
Take the coffee out it might be that the coffee is average the benefit was seeing the person and taking a flask would give the same benefit. Or it might be a really good coffee and a moment in time absolutely worth the £3.80. The clothes how much is buying through habit and how much is buying for need.
If you find the money is disappearing quicker than normal it might be worth a pause to see if you are happy with what you are spending on.

I don't buy many coffees, I've not paid for a haircut in a decade and I don't routinely buy clothes but I've restarted running recently so I've now started treating myself to a women's running magazine. I've got a soft spot for eyeshadows and if I feel a bit flat they brighten my mood that day and then again when I spend the time putting it on and making myself feel more human on other flat days. It's a personal decision what the benefit cost dial is for each thing.

Some will think that's loads and they couldn't imagine having 'that much' to spend on themselves.

Others will say it's a tiny amount and they couldn't imagine having to limit themselves to 'that little'.

But what's important is what's affordable in your budget, as just about every other household expense is more important.

Of course everyone should have some money to spend on themselves, but even £100 pw is quite a lot when put into the context of mortgage/rent, bills, food, travel to work, paying for transport, pensions, emergency fund, school uniforms etc.

In an average week how much are you socialising? And if this is going to a restaurant, then that can easily cost £50. That half your budget gone in one go. On an average week of you’re not going out and socialising, then for travel and toiletries than £100 should be well enough.

In my opinion, toiletries shouldn't come out of personal spends (unless it is something wild like a £100 bottle of gold-flecked shampoo).

But if you want more money then discuss with your DH about increasing the spending money for both of you. Don't use the ridiculous argument that women need more money than men. 🙄

You DH spends less than you. You really can't generalise to 50% of the population.

My DH spends more than me. I therefore don't agree that men spend less :)

No, I don't think that it's enough for all the things that you are trying to include.

Your budget for clothes/haircuts/beauty etc should ideally be separate from your budget for going out/socialising.

I budget about £100 just for going out/socialising. At least half of this will go on eating out. Even one evening meal out a week can easily come to £50 with wine included, and then I will often have lunch/brunch out one day a week. Once you add in things like cinema/theatre tickets, entrance fees etc, the rest disappears quickly.

Obviously, if you are struggling financially then you have to make it work, but if not, I don't see why you would restrict yourself so much. I think it's weird when adults behave like children being given 'pocket money'.

But I do agree that I think men spend less. I spend mine on hair, nails, PT, going out with friends, which DH doenst really do. He spends his on the Playstation and thats about it!

I do think this is a generalisation though.
DH is the spender in this house, and I am much tighter more of a saver.

I pay myself, into a bank account for weekly spending on food, fuel etc, £100 a week. When it’s gone, it’s gone and anything left over goes into a saving’s account. If the car goes wrong, I then have my ‘savings’ as a slush fund for any matters arising. I find it helps me budget. I have done this - at varying amounts over the years - since my first monthly paid job as I find it easier to budget weekly. My main bank account has all the household DDs going out and my salary paid in.
I live fairly simply and don’t really go out or have any expensive clothes or makeup tastes, so £100 is more than enough for my food etc.

We have £400 a month each. But travel would be a joint cost unless it was specifically something doing with a friend group like a train to London, presents for family is joint, wine is joint, anything for the kids is joint.

But I do agree that I think men spend less. I spend mine on hair, nails, PT, going out with friends, which DH doenst really do. He spends his on the Playstation and thats about it!

All of this.

Which is great, if you and your family have the budget for that and choose to prioritise that. No-one's criticising you.

What people are suggesting, is - even if you want to just talk about the gym, you can get gym membership (including classes) for considerably less than that.
For you, it might not matter, but I think it is reasonable to assume the OP started the thread as she has some concerns about her budget.

You can work on your "Health, strength and wellbeing" for a LOT less than you are spending.