To say our DC doesn't need to share their treats

YANBU. Your DH doesn't get to share out your child's treats. My mother used to make me share EVERYTHING and to this day I find it easier to give give other people gifts than to buy stuff for myself. It's crap.

The whole "be kind" bs again. No, having reasonable boundaries is not a bad manners. A person, even a child, has a right to his own possessions and is not required to give away his personal Christmas gifts to other people, even if they really, really want them. In this case, the child was not even asked. The OP's husband wanted to give away the chocolates that were gifted to the child without even asking him.

I initially voted yanbu but changed my mind as depending on the amount of sweets involved (sounds like a lot!) I frankly wouldn’t want my child consuming so much, even spread over time, so would rate it got shared out a bit. But would explain to DC the reason why

Absolutely shocking behaviour by your DH! Your poor little one! As a matter of interest OP, was your youngest there at the time?

Personally I think if you choose to eat your sweets in front of others, and they don’t have anything themselves, then you should be encouraged to share - most dc I know would do this automatically. I don’t mean necessarily dividing up equally, but handing the bag round so everyone gets one.

But it’s never ok for someone else to help themselves or hand out somebody else’s sweets, and that includes their parents.

Why didn't he just give them a bit of money to go and buy snacks for themselves, if they're in their teens?

And did they thank the person who gave them to them?

If he has 'a lot left' even after a selection box he was obviously given far more despite him only being 5. Most people would buy less for a much younger child not more. This time of year chocs and treats are pretty cheap so it feels a bit shitty of your family not to just send stuff for the teens too? Tubs of chocs are less than a fiver? Cheap selection boxes are under £2 it feels like they made minimal effort there.
There are teen step relatives in my family and we'd just have got all the kids the same treats, why not?

I thought this, then saw that they'd already eaten them...

Growing up the youngest of three in bygone years, when i was 5 my grandparents made sure my brother and sister left my chocolate alone if they'd wolfed theirs down ahead of me.

Boundaries are essential in any family and allowing the older ones to take the sweets from a 5 year old isn't good.

I’m with you. Treats don’t have to be shared.

Good practice then for when they’re an adult!

The rule in our house is that treats need to be shared. What goes around comes around and it all works out in the end.

@StarDolphins a bag of sweets that an adult sees as inconsequential might mean a lot to a small child.

I'm trying to think back to myself as an older teen (almost, if not actually a legal adult) and imagining wanting to take sweets off a five year old sprog. Nah. The indignity! Anyway, what five year olds like and what appeals to seventeen or eighteen year olds isn't necessarily the same. I'd want things that had been bought with me in mind.

I agree with this. If someone got a hand decorated chocolate Santa, yes, all hers. But a bag of sweets or chocolate, just share. It’s hardly a prized possession.

Basically your DH is a stingy and lazy sod

Certainly not unreasonable in the expectation that he should not be giving away your child’s sweets without even considering his feelings.

It should be considered if he has that many chocolates and sweets, is he really going to eat them all? If not, would it not be acceptable to ask him to pick his favourites which he’s going to eat and some others to put into a family bowl to share with all? Still agree dad should not just be offering them round without a second thought but sharing isn’t a bad thing

It wouldn't come to my mind to come home with treats and not share them with everyone in the house. And that's how I was raised as a child (big family, sharing was important).

If it was something special or rare I would get it, but for chocolate i find it weird to be so protective.

If she said to me while I was eating a box of chocolates “can you give some to “Alby & Eadie” (her friends), I would say of course! Although, I’d have offered before she said. I would only give them 2 each & the rest would be for me! That’s all I expect of her.

If her friends come & she said I don’t want anyone to spray my sol de janeiro (or whatever). Totally fine.

Id push it back to DH/older kids and say, fine, I'll just help myself to your selection boxes next time.

No need for you to ask and they can't complain one bit

I'm sure you share absolutely every treat you ever get...

In this case the teens have eaten their selection boxes though. If one kid still had some sweets left, but the others had scarfed through everything they’d had, I certainly wouldn’t make the one who’d saved stuff share it.

Why though? Is she not allowed to just have things that are hers to enjoy?

No I don't think he should have to share in this situation, they were his Christmas treats!

If he was sitting eating a bag of sweets in front of people it would be nice to teach him to offer them around- but that's different to what's happening here

Because I think it’s manners. Probably not in this situation actually because I’m not actually sure the son was there. But if my DD was in the company of other kids & was eating sweets/chocolate, I would expect her to offer something.