To say our DC doesn't need to share their treats

You should ask him whether his DSC's Mum's parents are planning on sending treats for your DS! If they are getting treats from 3 sets of grandparents then your son should be too.

No, I never make DD share if she doesn't want to and if I have some nice chocolates I don't feel the need to share all of them either. Sharing should be spontaneous and because you want to, not through obligation. However, I do teach her it's rude to eat Infront of others (that aren't me) without sharing.

No one's making YOU eat it.

If you want to teach a kid to share, you teach them by sharing your stuff with them, not by demanding the kid shares theirs (when they already have much less control over their lives).

The teens, on the other hand, should just walk themselves to the shop if they didn't freely and generously share with their little sibling earlier.

Not the point of the thread at all, but I'd have been looking to get rid of much of that candy crap anyway. What 5 year old needs boxes and boxes of chocolate and other sweets? It's making me nauseas just reading about it😂

Have you tried telling a child ‘it’s not that deep’?

I do agree with the sentiment of what you’re saying, but it’s just not that deep though, it’s chocolate.

A lot of PPs saying it's rude to sit and eat sweets without sharing. I agree. But we have no evidence that the 5yo WAS sitting eating them. If they were put away and the dad's suggestion was that they go and get them and help themselves that is not on.

OP does DH suffer from dad guilt that he doesn't see them much? I would suspect that's what drove him but he was massively out of order. He needs to find better ways of dealing with it.

Asking the younger DC to share is fine and tbh, to be expected in a family. Even if he said no, a conversation can be had and a good teaching moment.

However, unilaterally deciding that his sweets are there for the taking and telling the other kids to help themselves is wrong and lazy.

But that’s not what’s happening here, OP’s DS was not eating his sweets.

In your haste to #BeKind, you’ve assumed something that wasn’t happening.

also ask your DH if the roles were reversed would they share any of theres with your ds ?

I think it's right to ask your DS whether he would like to share one of his treats with his older siblings. He should have the choice; steer him away from giving too much as he likely would feel under duress.

The older teens have eaten their box of chocolates, which were kindly given, and really they should consider going to the family Christmas fun time next year rather than raiding their young brother's gifts.

It's all well and good saying treats need to be shared but the teens didn't share anything from theirs with the 5 year old by the looks of things, just scarfed the lot and whined like actual toddlers for more. I'd be willing to bet the teens wouldn't be so forthcoming with sharing of the shoe was on the other food too.

Sharing isn't taking things without asking the person who they belonged to either, it's up to the owner to offer and since the child wasn't around to offer them the adults shouldn't unilaterally make the decision to pinch things.

Just get some other festive snacks in earlier and allow all the children to tuck in. I agree these sweets are DC but you also have 2 other children in the family to consider, and so it would be wise to stock up on fun festive snacks for them so they feel included.

They've already eaten a selection box this week and now they want more chocolate? I think their father needs to look at how much crap they are eating and tell them to leave your ds's treats alone and have some fruit.

We don't actually know if he would want to share them though because nobody thought it was worth asking him because he's 5 and obviously that means he should just accept other take his stuff when they finish their own.

I'm sure had they asked he would have happily shared it but the idea that they can just help themselves to his stuff because he's younger and has more left over is just frankly ridiculous.

Jeez, would it really have hurt to give them something from his stash? Chances are, he may not even have noticed

Up to the 5 year old I would say.

I think it is one thing, and admirable, for your DC to offer his sweets for sharing, but quite another for your DH to unilaterally tell his own DCs that they can help themselves. That is appalling.

Youre making your child think hes better than the rest. He needs to share.
Healthier and fairer.

There's two separate discussions going on.

Saying the teenagers should eat the little kid's chocolates without his permission: rude

Sitting there munching a big box of chocs in front of others and not sharing: ruder

Really not sure which it is!!

If it was the other way round & DH teens had a load of sweets & chocolate would he/you tell/expect them to share with 5 year old?
I would personally share with every one in house hold, i'm sure 5 year old would not mind sharing if asked.

Is he selfish and spoiled, because it sounds like it.

Are the teenagers for wanting to take a small child's sweets? Is the DH for wanting to take a small child's sweets rather than going to the shop?

My angle would be to say to dsc that if they helped get ds to bed than the sooner they could have the sweets/chocs/teethrotters. Consider it an investment in terms of familial relations and potential babysitters of the future; a Pact.

I speak as the mother of the younger half-sibling, the mutual dad fucked off years ago, but all the siblings get on well as do both of us mothers.