To expect more from counselling?

I notice this post is older but if you still follow I would like to tell you firstly that I am very sorry you had that experience and what you are descrobing sounds very very poor.
Counselling is not appropriate for whar you are describing unless the counsellor has further qualifications in trauma work. Whoever referred you doesn't understand trauma and this unfortunately is the case for many health providers. I don't know if I am allowed to list here but if you PM me I can sign post you to directories of practitioners with solid trauma training. Please don't give up, healing is possible and beautiful, you had an unfortunate match, there is more out there.

Sounds like a trainee counsellor

Nope, they offer a range of talking therapies in my area, with an initial assessment and discussion about which kind would suit you.

She's doing one thing that counselors are supposed to do but not in the way it's supposed to be done. She's leaving everything else out. Yes you should expect more. Please complain. It doesn't sound like she is listening empathetically, summarising, asking open questions or making you safe. It sounds like something a parrot would do. That's not reflecting, it barely even sounds like paraphrasing. She's not meant to end abruptly. She doesn't seem to be thinking back to things you've said earlier and bringing them forward again at moments when it might be helpful to consider.

please do that and save yourself a fortune.

Please don't do that.

Even within the NHS there is a huge variety in the quality of counselling and there are some very good ones, working under pressure but very well. You've been unlucky. Complain and get assigned someone else if you can't afford private therapy. Explain that this is trauma work - they may have another tier of therapists available.

Try a different one.

Trainee here so I’d love to know how, in their opinion, they are working to an ethical framework coz they sound shite!

Try a different counsellor, or a psychotherapist instead as they are trained to a more indepth level.

'I am starting counselling next week and I have very clear goals in mind around acceptance and around looking positively forward after a big change in life circumstances. So this is what I will be saying to my counselor on the first session.'

Counsellor: I hear you want to work on acceptance and looking positively forward after a big change in life circumstances.

Catza: Yes, that's right. What can you do to help me achieve my recovery goals?

Counsellor: I hear you asking what I can do to help you achieve your recovery goals.

Let's hope yours isn't like this, Catza. Do you have a strategy in case she is?

I think this is part of the problem. Counselling and therapy in general is a very active process and you need to come to your sessions with a clear goals and agenda otherwise they will juts be a venting session. It sounds as though you were being referred for counselling but, perhaps, you haven't quite figured out what you want to achieve by being there.
It's not about what is possible but more about what you want your recovery to look like. Whether there are any skills you need, or any things you want to do but feel unable to.
I am starting counselling next week and I have very clear goals in mind around acceptance and around looking positively forward after a big change in life circumstances. So this is what I will be saying to my counselor on the first session. I don't need to tell her my entire life story, just what happened and what I want the outcome to be. And we can spend the rest of the sessions working on practical strategies to get me from A to B.
So maybe think about what your recovery goals are. And if you are not sure, it may be worth spending the last two sessions with your counselor helping you to come up with a recovery goal.

She sounds shit. Sounds like typical psychodynamic to me, not person centred at all. Skip it and complain. Ask to see someone different. You'll know if they're right for you. Best of luck 🌷

We had couples counselling a bit like this and while I found it useful in some ways it did seem to be taking ages and not getting anywhere. Totally didn't work for my partner who was just lost as to what the point was - he just wanted solutions. She did ask a few questions though and suggest some reading and activities so it was better than what you are getting

I would try a psychodynamic psychotherapist who understands trauma.. it can cost a bit but sometimes they will be willing to lower the cost once they know you

Sounds bad. My DS was recently sent to a psychologist following an accident. She said pretty much the same as yourself and she got more help and clarity about her feelings talking to me and a friend.

Personally I think a MH professional can be educated and trained up the wazoo but may still be a poor communicator and lack the ability to bring their client along with them during treatment.

Thank you! I am also.a.qualified counsellor and while I am not 100% person centred (integrative person centered, psychodynamic cnt and Ta for me for those that wonder) this is NOT what person centered is all about. Op if you can afford it I would look for a different counsellor. I dont know how it works via NHS but could you request a different counsellor and say this method is not.working for.you.

Even in person centered you can ask questions and reflect back to the client.

I'm a therapist, cbt and emdr and this isn't the style I take on. Really it's not about if she's good or not it's more about how you feel. If it's not working and you don't feel connected then it's probably not the right match. Maybe try a different therapy type. Cbt is very much more interactive in its approach that could be of use

If this is literally all the counsellor is doing, it doesn't sound what you need at all. There's no need to complete the 10 sessions. I hope you find someone you find more helpful.

Oh dear. You got one of the person centred robots. I used to despair of the way some counsellors interpreted person centred theory, it's not meant to just be a nodding dog/parrot in front of you, but unfortunately that's how some practice. I used to manage therapists in CAMHS and they can vary massively in how they work, qualifications, knowledge, etc. Unfortunately, some get a Level 4 from Shonky College and then think they're qualified to treat anybody and anything.

Definitely ask if you can change therapists. As others have said, a trauma informed therapist who can support you with safely processing traumatic experiences. Integrative therapists are trained in multiple modalities so they can often use different strategies to support at different times.

Counsellors are trained to be good listeners. If you want actual input you'd be best off with a clinical psychologist (pricey) or a qualified psychotherapist (variable)

Any counsellor registered to the BACP or NCPS or similar will have at least three years of training, a therapist about 5. True that Psychotherapist and counsellor are unprotected titles, but pretty much anyone listed on counselling directory or similar will be a member of a regulatory body which holds them to high standards, and can also be complained to.

I'm a person centred therapist and that is an element of counselling. The purpose being that it helps you identify with how you're feeling. But there should still be movement in the process. If your not moving forward the counsellor is not facilitating the session effectively. They are literally encouraging you to open up and then leaving you hanging. That is not a good counsellor.

Sadly mental health support in the nhs is massively underfunded and overwhelmed, which leaves room for some not so-great counsellors to stay in jobs they perhaps shouldn't, or need further training to do well. I have heard much more positive stories from CBT and EMDR. These are both available on the nhs. Where I live, there are long waiting lists for EMDR, although CBT isn't as long a wait. I think you would need to stick out the rest of your sessions so that you aren't seen to have disengaged, and then ask for a referral to one of these because the counselling hasn't helped (again, going off the framework in my area, it may be different in yours). Private treatment would be much better, you can sometimes get discounts if you are on a low income or a student/veteran/blue light worker. But it's still very expensive.

Who can you speak to about changing your counsellor ??

If it's free who is it free through ?

You need to lodge a complaint stating exactly what you have to us on here regarding her standard response

You need to demand to have those free 8 sessions again with another councillor