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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Need a hand hold part 4

682 replies

Imbluedalale · 05/12/2024 17:02

Hi spoonies .
Welcome to season 4 xxx

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nornironlady · 19/12/2024 06:30

@Apolloneuro totally agree. @Imbluedalale is a very beautiful woman with equally gorgeous kids. Proper stunners 😍

nornironlady · 19/12/2024 06:28

Good morning Spoonies. My, my weren't you lot busy last night! I'm guessing this could be the last post on this thread and my last ever post on MN as I was a fully paid up lurker.
The appointment was good but right before my son asked about home schooling which wasn't an option for him previously. I will give that a go in Jan and there's other meetings as support we've asked for hasn't appeared nor been mentioned. Get everyone round the same table and take it from there. It's too late to consider a change of school so if we could manage getting through 1.5yrs till high school I'm willing to try.
My son had a huge meltdown last night and threw my decorations everywhere, punching his own face so this is the result of talking about school in the home.
I can forget about it now and just enjoy the break.

BeNavyCrab · 19/12/2024 01:30

Just wanted to update everyone. I had my scan today and unfortunately I couldn't convince the technician to say anything about it, so I guess I have to be patient for the team to get back to me about it. We did manage to get a pasty and a lovely bit of tiffin for lunch as I wasn't allowed food before the scan. Then we headed off to see one my husband's sister on the way to my parents. Our daughter was also travelling down by train for the first time.

Anyone who has a child who is ND can understand how stressful it is for them to do things they've never done before. She can't cope with anything that requires connections or where she could get lost as she becomes overwhelmed and can't speak or even approach anyone for help. I found out that there's a direct train to the station near my parents, so she agreed to try it. I'd organised all the tickets, timings and booked her Passenger Assistance but it was still very hard for her. Especially when she had to move coaches at one point because they were detaching carriages. It upset her that they changed the sign on her carriage from D to J and didn't know why.They then announced it on the train that some carriages were going out of service, but said that you get off the train "at the platform" which she assumed would be the next one, but they meant after two other ones. So she became very confused and worried. Luckily there was a nice man who was travelling to Taunton who explained it was likely to be at Bristol temple meads. The conductor did come and make sure she knew she had to go to the new carriage. She also learnt how to use the train toilet after attempting to get in it but hadn't seen the buttons. Another kind person showed her and she was happy with those as "they are like boat ones" mixed with "star trek vibes as the door swishes open when you push the button".

There were many texts backwards and forwards but she managed the 8 hour journey and said she feels confident enough to do it in reverse when she goes back to uni after Christmas. So it was a win in my book and it was wonderful to retrieve her from the station and be in a somewhat sane state.😂😂

I'd also like to join the WhatsApp Spoonies and can understand what @Apolloneuro is talking about. There's been some very awful things said to people on other posts. Even if you don't agree with someone, there's ways to say it that are kind, compassionate, supportive and respectful. There does seem a subset of people who have lost their gentle side, it seems. Also it will allow us to share things with each other and not the rest of the internet.

@Imbluedalale Lots of updates I've just caught up on but it was such an awful thing to do, after he requested the abortion to say such terrible things. The Spoonies are right, it's all coercive control and meant to break you down. There was never ever a possibility of being enough, and it's not your fault.

Sorry that your son is having to deal with having cheated on his girlfriend. It's a difficult situation being in the middle of trying to care about them both. There's probably some element of influence in attitude due to your ex, but he's learning about the real life consequences and at least he cares about having stuffed things up. It's going to make him a better person and partner in the end, even though it's very painful now.

Imbluedalale · 19/12/2024 01:01

CleverLemonCat · 19/12/2024 00:43

We do! How bonkers is that!

Well if you ever fancy meeting for a coffee let me know. It’s only a short train journey away xx

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CleverLemonCat · 19/12/2024 00:43

We do! How bonkers is that!

Imbluedalale · 19/12/2024 00:40

CleverLemonCat · 19/12/2024 00:31

You are Doncaster way? So the other side of the bridge!

Yes I’m Doncaster . Omg we live so close to each other! xx

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Imbluedalale · 19/12/2024 00:38

CleverLemonCat · 19/12/2024 00:20

Am always a bit reserved about boot sales, when I lived in a terrace with the tiny front gardens, a few of us decided to put planters outside our houses to make the street look nice. Within a week, on the Sunday morning they all got pinched. Police said that they would have been sold at the local boot sale! Did get my son a big box of ghost busters toys there for Christmas one year for pennies though.

2 years ago lots of stuff got stolen from the allotment, including a greenhouse full of seedlings in trays. He happened to go to a boot sale, and they were all there and the thief had even left the markers in, in his handwriting lol. One of the disadvantages of living in a deprived area of the country. Your local ones seem fab.

I never go to them myself . My mum and dad have a butchers . Well my mums retired now but my dad’s not . Although she’s working there all next week and tomorrow my dad’s delivering 700 turkeys to Scotland. But my mum and dad do 2/3 car boots a week. They do hull car boot , grantham
and Bridlington. And they don’t every week and use the money they get for a holiday fund. They are going away on 2nd Jan to Tenerife for a month.
Anyway it’s my mum that gets me all the home stuff which I’m very thankful for.
I can’t believe people pinch things from peoples homes, how awful.
My mum was telling me where she lives people steal wheelie bins from peoples homes so they can burgle another home. How bad is that?xx

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CleverLemonCat · 19/12/2024 00:35

Doh, it's late, not near bridge lol. Have hull on my mind!

CleverLemonCat · 19/12/2024 00:31

You are Doncaster way? So the other side of the bridge!

CleverLemonCat · 19/12/2024 00:29

Imbluedalale · 19/12/2024 00:23

Awww that’s a shame @CleverLemonCat . Let me just get this straight do you live in Grimsby?xx

Nearby town!

Imbluedalale · 19/12/2024 00:28

AdmittowearingCrocs · 19/12/2024 00:08

Totally agree with you @Apolloneuro, having seen Laura’s photo, there is no way she looks 41. I thought you were under 30 Laura but then realised you would have been too young to have a 19 year old 😂 Laura has my WA details to add to the group.
In my head I definitely don’t feel my age and still try to do the same things I did when I was 25. I climbed up into my loft the other day to get my Christmas tree and decks down. I realised I found it much harder than I used to. But I won’t stop.
@TealPoet we don’t expect anything of you, just as long as you are part of the group and we can offer support to you as well if you need it. You are a founding Spoonie too so just check in when you are able. 🌸🥄
Glad you ate that yummy doughnut, would have been a shame to waste it.

Awwww thank you so much @AdmittowearingCrocs , I’m not used to compliments like that so thank you.
It crazy as you get older isn’t it when your mind seems younger than your body. I have a trapped nerve in my shoulder and I have started getting restless legs at night. All a sign of aging 😂
I have to say the doughnut was absolutely yummy. My mum and dad were making me laugh in M&S as wherever we go they always look at the price of meat and they was looking at all the turkeys and the weights in shock 🤣xx

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Imbluedalale · 19/12/2024 00:23

Imbluedalale · 19/12/2024 00:23

Awww that’s a shame @CleverLemonCat . Let me just get this straight do you live in Grimsby?xx

I’m so excited if you do that means you’re nearby!

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Imbluedalale · 19/12/2024 00:23

CleverLemonCat · 18/12/2024 23:59

You are welcome to the praise, my lovely. Unfortunately Ocado dont deliver to my area, not posh enough lol. There is a small M&S in Grimsby though so might brave the grotty high street! Lots of posh treats in our Aldi though, so might go mad this year. Always feel guilty spending money on myself so will make that my aim for 2025, I do deserve nice things! x

Awww that’s a shame @CleverLemonCat . Let me just get this straight do you live in Grimsby?xx

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CleverLemonCat · 19/12/2024 00:20

Am always a bit reserved about boot sales, when I lived in a terrace with the tiny front gardens, a few of us decided to put planters outside our houses to make the street look nice. Within a week, on the Sunday morning they all got pinched. Police said that they would have been sold at the local boot sale! Did get my son a big box of ghost busters toys there for Christmas one year for pennies though.

2 years ago lots of stuff got stolen from the allotment, including a greenhouse full of seedlings in trays. He happened to go to a boot sale, and they were all there and the thief had even left the markers in, in his handwriting lol. One of the disadvantages of living in a deprived area of the country. Your local ones seem fab.

AdmittowearingCrocs · 19/12/2024 00:08

Apolloneuro · 18/12/2024 23:43

Um excuse me missy. I have evidence of the fact that you look like a 22 year old Miss World, so we’ll have none of that nonsense @Imbluedalale

Totally agree with you @Apolloneuro, having seen Laura’s photo, there is no way she looks 41. I thought you were under 30 Laura but then realised you would have been too young to have a 19 year old 😂 Laura has my WA details to add to the group.
In my head I definitely don’t feel my age and still try to do the same things I did when I was 25. I climbed up into my loft the other day to get my Christmas tree and decks down. I realised I found it much harder than I used to. But I won’t stop.
@TealPoet we don’t expect anything of you, just as long as you are part of the group and we can offer support to you as well if you need it. You are a founding Spoonie too so just check in when you are able. 🌸🥄
Glad you ate that yummy doughnut, would have been a shame to waste it.

CleverLemonCat · 18/12/2024 23:59

You are welcome to the praise, my lovely. Unfortunately Ocado dont deliver to my area, not posh enough lol. There is a small M&S in Grimsby though so might brave the grotty high street! Lots of posh treats in our Aldi though, so might go mad this year. Always feel guilty spending money on myself so will make that my aim for 2025, I do deserve nice things! x

Imbluedalale · 18/12/2024 23:51

Apolloneuro · 18/12/2024 23:43

Um excuse me missy. I have evidence of the fact that you look like a 22 year old Miss World, so we’ll have none of that nonsense @Imbluedalale

🥹🥹❤️🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️
You’re so lovely thank you so much. I havnt got amazing skin like you though. You look radiant ❤️xxx

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Imbluedalale · 18/12/2024 23:50

Apolloneuro · 18/12/2024 23:00

Breaking news…… in preparation for starting a WhatsApp group @Imbluedalale and I have been messaging a little. I have now seen a photo of her and she is ABSOLUTELY STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL. Not one word of a lie.

I’ve told her this time next year, we’re gonna find her a nice man.

OMG that’s so lovely , thank you so much . I’m definitely not beautiful 😂but that has made me tear up. What a lovely lovely compliment.
Thank you @Apolloneuro xxx

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Imbluedalale · 18/12/2024 23:48

CleverLemonCat · 18/12/2024 22:48

Dont think I have posted since your first thread. I have been following your journey and you truly are an inspiration. Am actually proud of someone I have never met, you have shown such strength of character, it was always in you just buried under the surface due to your abusive ex.

It's great that your children are finding their way back to you. I have been a single mum since leaving an abusive marriage. DS was a nightmare between the ages of 14 to 19 and I thought I had lost him for good when he left to live with his father after a huge row. He came back after 12 weeks with a real appreciation for me and we have had a fantastic relationship ever since. Looks like yours are also realising their love for you, and can show it now that they can see you out of that dreadful environment you were forced to live in.

Your new home is beautiful, makes me want to stop wallowing in self pity and get of my bum and make my home beautiful again! Have also been having flashbacks to the abuse, so strange as I have been divorced for 30 years! The mind does work out trauma in it's own time I suppose.

Anyway dont want to end on a depressing note! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, and enjoy your snacks and peace. I have made up a treat box for ds to take on christmas eve and just realised I havent got any nibbles for myself yet lol. xxx

Hi @CleverLemonCat , it’s so lovely for you to post on this thread. Thank you .
How are you? I love your name btw.
Thank you so so much for following my journey , I’m so grateful you do.
Thankyou for being proud of me , I’ve never made anyone proud before so that’s so lovely .
I actually have tears in my eyes to hear that your DS came back to you .Your obviously an amazing mum. The years 14+ are bloody hard aren’t they . I get scared what to say sometimes and there’s a lot of biting my tongue.
Thankyou for liking my home, you should go to a car boot it’s amazing what stuff you find there . My mum is a car boot queen and she gets amazing things and a lot of it is brand new. Like my microwave and kettle they had never been used . I think my mum got all my kitchen stuff for £40.
Sorry to hear you’ve been having flashbacks too, they are awful aren’t they. Yesterdays one literally took my breath away and it’s hard to explain because you know it happened but your brain seems to forget and then when you get a flashback it knocks you for six.
Thank you for sharing that with me @CleverLemonCat , I truly appreciate it.
Awww that’s so lovely you’ve made a treat box for ds . You need treats for yourself. Get yourself on Ocado and order some M&S treats and you get a spoon like me on your first order xx

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Apolloneuro · 18/12/2024 23:43

Um excuse me missy. I have evidence of the fact that you look like a 22 year old Miss World, so we’ll have none of that nonsense @Imbluedalale

Imbluedalale · 18/12/2024 23:29

TealPoet · 18/12/2024 22:46

I’m definitely up for WA as long as you don’t all expect me to keep up with everything - I’m just not able to! Please know that it doesn’t mean I don’t care; I do truly. I have really low social energy though and get overwhelmed really easily.

Laura that donut/cake looks fabulous! Of course you had to eat it while it was fresh!

And oh yes, 17! I think I’m still a bit of a brat now, to be honest; I think I must have been awful as a teenager! I can’t actually really compute that I’m nearly 38 not 18 - somehow everything seemed to stop then and I don’t feel like I’ve grown up at all! Can anyone relate or is that just another way I’m weird? There are plenty of them!

Laura I will get those pictures I had made to you; I’m so slow I know! They are literally here in my room; they just need boxing and sending. But oh boy am I slow! I’m sorry 😔

Hi @TealPoet , nobody expects anything of you apart from that you’ll forever be a spoonie . Is that a deal?
I can’t believe your 38 I thought you was so much younger . I’m 41 next year I can’t believe it.
I feel like that too I don’t feel 41 although I look about 70 right now . In my head I still feel younger if that makes sense?I now enjoy the little things in life , a cake. Seeing family, reading a book or magazine , having a bath , watching tv, having a cup of tea. I’ll never take for granted what I have ever again. A lot of my stuff in my home is from car boot but I absolutely love it all and I feel incredibly lucky to get to this point .
Please don’t worry about sending me anything , just concentrate on yourself. Sending you a big hug @TealPoet and I hope you can get some rest tonight xx

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Imbluedalale · 18/12/2024 23:20

RaspberryBeretxx · 18/12/2024 22:30

Omg that looks amazing! I’m not very caught up but glad you had a good day and hope tomorrow is too 💕.

Hi @RaspberryBeretxx , I hope you’ve had a nice day .
The cake tasted amazing it really did xx

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Imbluedalale · 18/12/2024 23:19

Apolloneuro · 18/12/2024 21:40

Turkey baster 😂 imagine shoving one of them up your foofah.

I’m ok. Got a few things going on but then haven’t we all. Malbec and I have set a date to meet, which is super.

Hope the ed psych visit was helpful @nornironlady

Oh gawd could you imagine?I mean I did think that is a very big inseminator.
I’ve never basted a turkey before . Ah well you learn something new everyday xx

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Imbluedalale · 18/12/2024 23:16

VexedofVirginiaWater · 18/12/2024 21:16

It all looks so lovely - the touches of yellow are so sunny and make you forget the rain, and I love the slim tree and those little trees too. I envy you your flat garden - mine is a slope and I can hardly get to the bottom of it any more.

I just realised that I think I was on your previous threads under a different name - I think it was kittylion, I changed name for something, can't remember.

Spoon on spoonies!

Edited

Hi @VexedofVirginiaWater , how are you this evening? Have you had a nice day?
Thank you for your lovely comments about my home, there’s still a lot to do but I will get there. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Those little trees my son’s ex girlfriend gave me them as she and her family had moved homes and she said I could have them. How lovely was that.
Omg i remember you as kittylion!
Sending big hugs lovely xx

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Imbluedalale · 18/12/2024 23:11

MsJinks · 18/12/2024 21:07

Hi @Giraffe888 - I’m in this same city 😃 - exiled for a bit but back for good this time lol xx

So you and @Giraffe888 are both in Sheffield?omg I’m hyperventilating if that’s true xx

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