Need a hand hold part 4

Lovely posts from everyone 🥰

This has been my creative pleasure today. I think the scones are going to crumble. Think mixture was a bit dry maybe.

@BeNavyCrab what a beautiful card. Someone will be very happy to receive it. 🌻

We are in beautiful Cornwall. One of the previous storms blew my parents fence down too. Hopefully when it's calmed down, you will be able to get it back into place. At least you will have all the bits of it, as it's in one piece. My husband had a bit of fun with my parents one as it was more like an IKEA jigsaw with half the bits missing. He works with wood so he was able to find some leftover wood to fix it for them and now you wouldn't know.

Here's today's card for everyone to enjoy. I used the plastic packaging a die set came in as an extra layer on the card front. It's thicker than normal acetate, so it wouldn't bend nicely, so I attached it with a card strip on the top. I stenciled with a white acrylic paint pen and coloured from the opposite side. The black card has gold gel pen with the same stencils to fill the background in. I also found u could use the round dotting end of the acrylic paint pens to ink up the sentiment before stamping. My inspiration was stained glass windows. I love the way light seems to glow through them and gives you all those rich colours. Forgive me for still being in my nighty, it's one of those days where you feel like hibernating. 🤣

@Imbluedalale Raspberry is absolutely spot on. It's your mind decompressing and trying to process. That's why it's so damaging and evil to make someone not be able to trust their experience of the world. You never know which way is up and that trickles through into every aspect of life. Even stupid things like, "Did I put the milk back in the fridge" etc, you can't trust anything you think is true, actually happened. The more unsure of yourself, the more you rely on others to tell you what is what. That gave them the ability to force you into being locked in to their reality and making you unable to believe yourself.

It's all ok to not be there yet. Be kind and patient with yourself. They spent years taking you apart.
You've learnt the first lesson is to not accept whatever shit anyone wants to serve you. You've learnt that reaching out to wholesome supportive people can help you to regain your equilibrium. You know that you aren't "less" because you have a mental health condition and you aren't crazy.

Now you are at the start of recovery. The more you are free of the poison, you will see that you are not what they said you are, you never were! You're going to see that you are making sensible decisions, overcome challenges, learning to like yourself again and that will slowly sink in. Soon you'll realise that you have confidence and be immensely proud of yourself. At the moment your feeling it from the people who are supporting you, like your MH team and your Spoonies. Imagine how it's going to feel to carry that feeling inside your heart and head and feel it's true. You're not going to wonder why people are saying they see all these lovely qualities in you because you are going to KNOW that they are just describing what you are. It's going to take time and confronting difficult memories. You might "relapse" or have days where you want to hide under a rock and never come out. One day it will be normal to think of yourself as the strong, clever, emotionally intelligent, compassionate and fierce warrior you are.

Until then we are here for you to remind you of the truth, to help you cope with the shenanigans and emotional manipulation from your ex etc. Remember that we are helping but it's You who is managing and doing it. That doesn't happen by magic, it happens because of you and your strength. Even when you don't feel it or quite believe it, it's still there!!

@Imbluedalale I've have the heating on and my decisions on whether to watch tv or do a puzzle are just as taxing as yours!
@RaspberryBeretxx the cat was in and out as usual between showers. He will sleep all day now and head back out after 6pm. What a life!

Ooh, I didn’t see your posts when I posted mine 🤦🏻‍♀️🤪.

🤣🤣 at the giant babygro! I remember onesies being in when I was in my teens but they sort of got stuck right up your crack 🙈🤣. Sounds like you had a very hot night (in the temperature sense!).

ah, yeah I can imagine super romantic bridgerton not quite what you need right now. The Lindsey lohan film was good but not quite as good as last years when she was a spoilt brat who then lost her memory and turned good. I can’t remember what it was called. Both very easy watching! I haven’t seen miracles from heaven, I’ll add to my list 😁. I like virgin river on Netflix that has a new series coming out soon. It’s a bit romantic but has various story lines running through. Sweet magnolias is quite a nice gentle watch with lovely female friendships at the heart of it 🥰.

With your ex and the van number plate, I definitely think people put onto other people what they are so I think that’s why your ex tried to get you to believe you’re evil. Because he knows he is. I think maybe it’s a good sign that memories are popping up randomly and that it’s your mind/body’s way of dealing with them fully. I think just keep talking to us or your support worker or family and hopefully processing things gradually will help and having people remind you that you’re amazing, a great mum and basically the exact opposite of all the things your ex said. Big hug!

Soup sounds lovely and perfect for today. I’m not sure what to do for later. Something that involves very little mess now the kitchen is all clean 🤣.

Morning (or afternoon 🤦🏻‍♀️) spoonies.

Hope the cat survived going out @nornironlady ?! I think mine has been in her bed all morning, she hasn’t even bothered to come and say hello 😝.

sending a hug @EdgeOfReality 💐. That sounds really tough and I’m so glad you got out and have your freedom.

@BeNavyCrab i forgot you’re on a boat! That does sound stressful. That good your DH has secured the boat. We were in a tent on a cliff in high winds a year or so ago and the noise was awful!

I’m having a day of cleaning as it really needs doing and DP’s parents are coming over tomorrow.

Hope you’re ok today Laura @Imbluedalale xxx

@BeNavyCrab I was particularly thinking of you in the storm. Not sure what part of the country you are. That does sound unsettling. My front fence between us and neighbours has come down but in one piece! We should manage a patch up job at some point!

It's absolutely howling here and it's been a very disruptive night. It's the time that I find it hard being on a boat. We are leaning towards the quay and for the majority of the time we don't float, depending on if it's spring tides or not. However in very windy weather it shakes the whole boat and there's lots of noise from the tarpaulin covering the deck. Not to mention the sound of the halyards banging against the masts of the other boats on the hard around us. We are safe, because my husband has got a masthead line to a stake in the ground, to prevent us from leaning away from the quay and falling over but it is wearing and a bit stressful.

Hopefully everyone else is ok and haven't had any damage. There's been a few trees losing branches. The local parkrun has been cancelled and I'm glad that there aren't runners out in the weather.

@ImbluedalaleI Know I don’t comment as often as others but I’m still following your thread. Just know you have done so well with everything you have been through. I am out of an abusive marriage now but what happened to me still affects me to this day. I have my good days and bad days despite counselling and my happy pills. But I’m so much happier and I have my freedom which is priceless. You are a strong woman and we are all behind you. Your new home is lovely. You are safe now and your future is so much brighter without that horrible man dimming your light. 💐

Good morning Spoonies! Have you all made it through the storm. It's still howling here. I was quite unsettled during the night so I got up for a cuppa. The cat has headed on out, he might blow past the window soon as he's still a kitten really! I'm taking the advice and staying at home.
@Imbluedalale I really can't believe what you've been through and the inner strength you have that clearly compels you to keep going. Your depth of caring and empathy for others truly humbles me every day. You are a very special lady.

So well said 👏👏. I agree.

The way he tried to twist things in your mind with the number plate and the slashed sheets is just horrifying Laura. I think one of the things in the Lundy Bancroft book is that a common thing among abused women is confusion and lack of trust in themselves. Sending a big hug. You’re out now and while it will take a long time to unpick and heal, at least you’re now on the start of that journey 💕✨

That’s a good plan to change the sheets and change back when your mum comes 🤣. Or if it gets really icy cold you’ll be glad of them!

that’s great your support worker meeting was good. It must be so lovely for them to see you being you and how calm your home is.

How was My wife, my abuser? It looks hard watching but also interesting 🤔.

Thats so awful that your ex would say to you and your youngest that he was trying to help you and make you better people. It’s just so twisted. You’re so right though, you are better off without him and he’s starting to see that.

Im glad the school are sending you your youngest work to help him with and that they’re clearly not too impressed with you ex. It’s all useful to have all that documented with an authority.

Hope you’ve had a lovely dinner and a relaxed evening. I had a dull day of doing accounts. I may have Christmas peaked too soon this evening by watching the new Netflix Lindsay lohan christmas rom com 🙈😆.

I think in bridgerton I liked the second series best. The third is a bit cringe at times but also really good. They are all good though 😁. Great escapism!

yes please join the backing chorus, definitely in the spoons dresses 😆😆🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄!

Laura, having that kind of coercion and mental torture and abuse from your bastard of an ex and then coming through and being able to survive and thrive the way you are now, just proves how incredibly strong you are and if you can survive that, you can survive anything else he tries to throw at you.
You are amazing, resourceful, kind, funny and such a lovely person, as well as being a great mum. Just like that man in hospital said, don’t let anyone dim your light. Sending you a massive hug 🤗

@Imbluedalale he is the evil one my lovely!!

But you did it, you got away from him and his disgusting family
You are amazing!! Xx

Oh sweetheart it doesn't sound strange. I mean in the cold light of day, without him manufacturing "proof", yes, you wouldn't believe it. That's so vile behaviour, using your illness to control you. I'm quite interested in human behaviour as a subject. Did you know that if you show someone a fake photo of "proof" and ask them to tell you about when they did it, even if you initially are adamant and actually it never happened, you'll believe that "proof" to be true? Our brains will get parts of truth and then add on inventions of imagination to flesh out the story to match. We then can't distinguish from the story with "proof" and what actually happened. There have been a number of studies done on this, as well as how people can give false confessions because of the treatment of them by a person in authority or who has power over them. We all think we are strong and it couldn't happen to us but it is possible.

So in the case of the van, you get a glimpse of the shape of the words and having someone who verified that it said "You're Evil" would intensify your thoughts. To actually then "make the picture" by slashing the bedclothes and saying the devil did it because of you, would make it very difficult to fight against believing it. I'm sure he will have constantly reinforced it over and over to you. It's actually mental torture and highly disturbing that he has done this to you!!