Need a hand hold part 4

@Imbluedalale me again. I
should have read your updates before posting What your son did to his gf was wrong but I also think the situation after that probably gave him the push to go to uni Instead of following his dad and family’s cycle. Hope your youngest hasn’t moved far. Maybe one day he’ll decide to move in with you. You just need to breakthrough to him with one conversation and he might even change his mind about living with his dad. I hope it all works out for you.

Hi @Imbluedalale i got a notification of this post but couldn’t remember the post so since your recent message I’ve been reading all your threads. Woah what have you gone through and how far you’ve come. I’m glad your daughter is with you now and hoping your ex’s grip on the Sons loosens up. How did your daughter come around? From your posts during Christmas it seemed like she wasn’t going to. Hoping it’s onwards and upwards always for you.

I’m so proud of you Laura, what a lot you have accomplished over just one year! I know none of it has come without struggle and there have been really painful parts, but you’ve shown amazing strength, resilience, and positivity. Onwards and upwards beautiful!

University - that is wonderful ! you must be very very proud. What happened re his girlfriend ?

I am pleased your daughter has moved in, I clearly remember her light shade :)

Aw but I am not surprised he moved your youngest away, he had to have control didn't he !
His mother caused issues too, didn't she. has she moved away too ?

Are you still loving your new home ?

and how are your Mum and Dad ? as they really did come up trumps in the end when it was really needed.

Oh goodness @Imbluedalale - seems so fast, but I expect it also seemed so long to you at times as well. But those difficult times are a different life now - you’ve done amazingly and I hope tonight your emotions include pride in your huge achievements.
We don’t swap dire for perfect overnight, or over year, there are new and different life challenges that make us wonder if it was the right decision for a second, but I, and I think you, can realise these are just weird seconds thinking of something that wasn’t even real and then remember how so so much better the new life is - how it fits better with who we are and want to be - well I hope you are at that point.
Also, I hope you keep writing, off here too - I’m not sure but think you may have said something once? But your writing is so good and relatable and funny too - you have shared hope and experience on here, and can take that further I think - I used to teach English if that’s relevant at all.
Glad you dropped by - keep on, keeping on x

How are things now ?

I didn't see your original thread/s but saw a recent update from you so went and found every thread.
My goodness what you went through !

Are you going to have a Christmas tree this year - with spoons :)

@Imbluedalale lovely to read your updates, I have often thought about you!

How are you coping @bananabeau? Any way we can help? Sending hugs!

Big hugs @bananabeau . I wish there was a part of mumsnet that was hidden from the media where people could talk freely. But in the absence of that, whatever it is you are going through, hang on in there and things will get better. Hugs!!

Thanks for everyone asking for me. I don’t want to derail Laura’s post. But honestly thank you 🩷

Hi @bananabeau I hope you’re okay. Didn’t get to read your update before the post was hidden. Hope you’re feeling better and you’re on the mend x

Urg, that sucks about the cancelations! Can you ask the GP to push back and really state strongly that you need to be seen?

Big big hugs, and a massive spoon to wave threateningly at people who are being difficult to you!

Thank you @ChoccieCornflake and @Munchyseeds2 and everybody, I really do appreciate it!

Part of what’s getting to me about the cancelled appointments is that each time the doctor has referred me because I need help and those are the people he believes can give that. But each time they haven’t just cancelled the appointment - they’ve said ‘we’ll be in touch if we decide we want to see you’ - then silence. Doesn’t the doctor saying I need them count for anything?

But as long as mum gets help, I don’t care too much. She’s everything to me and to our pup and as long as she’s ok, we’ll muddle through. Sending huge hugs to everyone here who needs and wants one, and seriously, THANK YOU 💕

@TealPoet I am so sorry to read your update, I hope things get better for you and your mum
Just wanted to send you lots of ❤️

Oh Teal, I'm so sorry, that sounds absolutely awful. Yes, there will always be someone having it worse, but that does NOT mean you don't deserve sympathy and support for how hard you are having it. And it does sound bloody hard! That you are still functioning is a testament to what a strong strong woman you are!

Please don't take anything in the media to heart - the media thrives on setting up and portraying conflict. Everyone I know in real life thinks the way the government is handling the disability support issue is totally awful. Helping people like you and your mum is exactly what I (and many people) want taxes to be used for. I mean heck - if not for you, then for whom?!

PALS might be useful in getting somewhere with a hospital appointment, maybe?

Massive massive hugs

Thank you both; I’ve just felt totally over my head the past couple of weeks, especially in this awful heat. I know lots of us must be struggling with it! And so many people are going through worse but I’m finding it tough. I’m so grateful for the love here and just to be able to tell someone what’s happening without judgement. Thank you all! 💕

@Imbluedalale - love your home, it’s beautiful- thank you for sharing the photos.
It’s so long ago since I ran away it’s as if it’s a completely different life - I only get saddened when I realise things haven’t, as you’d hope, improved much at all, sometimes I think violence/anger/hatred is worse than back then.
Life goes on and it’s great when we can share experiences and use the bad to help for good - you definitely are fab at that @Imbluedalale
I’m taking some fun from my ex experiences still though- blaming the trauma of missing the boss locally in the 80s, on my excessive ticket buying to see him 3x recently - it’s great!
Wishing you all get to this point sooner rather than later.

@TealPoet have severe ME, cared for my terminally ill dad who’d been my carer, also been worried sick about PIP….
Pales in comparison reading your update. I’m simply so sorry.
You deserve so much more help and support xxx

@Imbluedalale Thank you for letting me post here, I definitely don’t want to derail your thread!

@ChoccieCornflake thank you. I’m afraid it’s a bit of a long story! Since February 2024 I’ve been battling worsening health problems (on top of the lifelong disability and other chronic physical and mental issues). On top of those, in February this year, my mum, who is my sole carer and only relative had a fall and broke her femur. She had to have a pin all down her leg, and because of her existing disabilities was in hospital for nearly 8 weeks.

I managed to survive with minimal care despite being bed bound, and I thought it would be easier when she came home. But the hospital’s solution to mum not being able to walk or use the stairs any more has been to move her into the room downstairs I’m in, so now we’re both basically stuck in one room. Which is fine in itself - I love her and we get on wonderfully. But she now has two carers in 3 times a day. And I have massive sensory and social sensitivities, and I’m finding it totally overwhelming. Not to mention the financial hit of course.

Then yesterday the hospital cancelled the one appointment they set up to help me with the cascading series of food allergies I’ve developed. And also contacted mum to say she has a serous heart problem and they want to see her urgently but the wait is up to 33 weeks. I’m so overwhelmed, scared, and burned out that I can’t think straight or do anything really. I’ve been finding all the hate in the media towards the disabled and sick so hard to take too. I wish I could call the doctor for help but they just refer me and the hospital just cancels it (3 times in a row now, and no help at all).

That’s the most garbled summary and I usually pride myself on clear communication, but hopefully it makes sense enough, and explains why I couldn’t cope with much communication earlier in the year. @Imbluedalale has been a wonderful support through it all, reaching out and helping and praying for me, and it means so much. I truly appreciate all the lovely spoonies 💕