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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to tell SIL to get fucked?

252 replies

Pooliny · 05/12/2024 14:34

SIL asked what we were up to this weekend. I said, as another storm is on the way, we were going to have some mulled wine and a cheeseboard while watching Christmas films. She then did cat's bum face and said she thought it was so gross that people do nothing but stuff their faces with unhealthy food in the run up to Christmas. She said this, by the way, in front of her teenage daughter who has struggled badly with body image issues. I said, lightly, that I'm very sleep deprived due to my velcro 5 month old and, as last Christmas (and for the whole 9 months of my pregnancy) I had hyperemesis gravidarum and was too queasy to enjoy any nice food, this Christmas I fully intend to eat all the cheese and all the chocolate. She rolled her eyes at me and said "whatever makes you feel better about yourself".

I said nothing but I wanted to tell her to fuck off tbh. AIBU?

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 05/12/2024 15:13

Pooliny · 05/12/2024 14:53

We've had big blow ups about those particular comments before so she steers clear of them now!!

Show quote history

Thereby confirming that telling her where to get off really does work! So next time... you should tell her.

I feel very sorry for her daughter. Imagine if the daughter has to listen to these speeches and unwanted advice givings and speaks to her like that ... all the time.

AmandaHoldensLips · 05/12/2024 15:13

There is a mirroring method that you might find fun: repeat whatever she says and turn it into a question, e.g.

"People who stuff their faces with cheese are disgusting?"
"I should have served fruit instead of cheese?"

Add a furrowed brow and a tilt of the head.

Try it. It's great.

2Magpies24 · 05/12/2024 15:11

I'm sat here at my desk pretending to work whilst trying to do a 'cats bum face"

adriftinadenofvipers · 05/12/2024 15:10

Lemonadeand · 05/12/2024 14:54

Sounds like a lovely weekend plan. You never know, maybe the storm will drop a tree on her.

Or a chimney... 😄

SerafinasGoose · 05/12/2024 15:09

Birch101 · 05/12/2024 14:40

Get her a colonic voucher for Christmas 🤣

This made me actually laugh like a bilious goose - a rare occurrence these days on Mumsnet!

FeetLikeFlippers · 05/12/2024 15:08

Lemonadeand · 05/12/2024 14:54

Sounds like a lovely weekend plan. You never know, maybe the storm will drop a tree on her.

Thanks for giving me a proper belly laugh, I needed that today. 🤣🤣

adriftinadenofvipers · 05/12/2024 15:08

"Just as well you're not invited, SIL!!"

Try to avoid any mention of food around her. She has clearly got issues that she's passing on to her poor daughter!

NobleWashedLinen · 05/12/2024 15:07

It's so liberating when you get wise enough to realise that you don't actually need other people to approve of you.

YANBU to do whatever you like.
You don't actually have to tell her to fuck off, though you can if it will make you feel better.
I am delighted that her comeback was "whatever makes you feel better about yourself" because if that's in her repertoire you can and should be prepared to give her a riposte about how being judgy about other people's life choices has never been in that category for you, but each to their own.

Tortielady · 05/12/2024 15:07

There are many, many things in this life that matter more than the petty opinions of silly little people. A nice cheeseboard is one of them. Enjoy it, the mulled wine and whatever else you've got lined up.

Patterncarmen · 05/12/2024 15:06

WickedlyCharmed · 05/12/2024 14:43

I’d send her a cheese hamper for Christmas.

This is brilliant…and chocolate covered fruit!

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/12/2024 15:06

Are you cool aunt by any chance? I’d be tempted to invite her teen dd over for some food and explain to her how good cheese is for gut bacteria, give her Velcro baby to play with for a while.

VodkaCola · 05/12/2024 15:06

I bet she's a lot of fun at parties.

Lwrenn · 05/12/2024 15:04

I've had a few HG Christmases myself so I make up for them every other Christmas now. Enjoy everything! Cheese, chocolate, marzipan and patê!

SiL and I have had our moments but she would have never been such an arsehole about us enjoying Christmas cheese, unless it was "without me".

Your poor niece, hearing that crap. Poor lass will have a lot of issues thanks to her mum vilifying tasty food.

Slooodie359 · 05/12/2024 15:02

Pooliny · 05/12/2024 14:34

SIL asked what we were up to this weekend. I said, as another storm is on the way, we were going to have some mulled wine and a cheeseboard while watching Christmas films. She then did cat's bum face and said she thought it was so gross that people do nothing but stuff their faces with unhealthy food in the run up to Christmas. She said this, by the way, in front of her teenage daughter who has struggled badly with body image issues. I said, lightly, that I'm very sleep deprived due to my velcro 5 month old and, as last Christmas (and for the whole 9 months of my pregnancy) I had hyperemesis gravidarum and was too queasy to enjoy any nice food, this Christmas I fully intend to eat all the cheese and all the chocolate. She rolled her eyes at me and said "whatever makes you feel better about yourself".

I said nothing but I wanted to tell her to fuck off tbh. AIBU?

Never ever make an excuse.

it’s just what you are doing
you don’t owe her don’t story

don’t make excuses just do what u want, no apologies for her

FeetLikeFlippers · 05/12/2024 15:01

Well that probably explains her poor daughter’s body image issues. SIL deserves to be told to fuck right off but well done for being the bigger person and not doing it in front of her daughter.

HoppityBun · 05/12/2024 15:00

Theak · 05/12/2024 14:57

A nicely timed ‘well I can see why your DD has such awful body image issues’ should blow everything up

I’ll buy tickets to watch that

OriginalUsername2 · 05/12/2024 14:59

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 05/12/2024 14:48

I said YABU simply because she is clearly a very unhappy person. Nothing to be gained by even bothering to tell her to F-Off. Her life is and always will be miserable without a personality transplant. Leave her to the universe.

Edited

Or an operation to remove the stick.

Send her a pic when you’re enjoying that cheeseboard.

footballmum25 · 05/12/2024 14:59

i would reply “we’re not all insecure about how we look so let me enjoy my cheeseboard in peace”

Happiestwhen · 05/12/2024 14:59

She is soo jealous that you get to eat nice things and she has to stick to her guns due to her insufferable pride, ha ha ha. What a miserable life. I feel very sorry for her dd though and any other kids she may have. And your brother too being stuck with her. I bet he sneaks treats into the house when she's not watching.

Jaboodyv2 · 05/12/2024 14:59

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Wendolino · 05/12/2024 14:57

Next time you see her, make sure you have some lovely unhealthy food with you. Wave it around in her face, then eat it sloppily, going mmmmmm mmmmmm yummy yummy yum. You're sooooo jealous!

Them tell her to get f.....

Theak · 05/12/2024 14:57

A nicely timed ‘well I can see why your DD has such awful body image issues’ should blow everything up

Yennah · 05/12/2024 14:56

YANBU. Enjoy that cheeseboard and wine!

After years of comments from SIL, I've now gone NC. I am begrudgingly having to see her for 2 days over the Christmas period just so DH can see his parents, but thankfully DH finally gets it and said no more than two days as last year she peed us both of us with endless digs. I won't have anything to do with her now unless it's at a family event and even then I'll be keeping my distance.

Alibababandthe40sheets · 05/12/2024 14:54

Get her to explain what she means and get her to keep going until she gets to the bit where she gets angry with you because she realises you know she is being an arsehole and aren’t rising to her bait.

Oh what do you mean by that?

Oh I didn’t realise that everyone who eats at Christmas does so for the exact same reasons? I thought different people were motivated by different emotions and desires.

Oh what makes you think I need to use food as a comfort?

Just keep asking and asking?

Questions about their motivation and intent for making nasty barbs all the way with assholes, it is their kryptonite. They want you to react that is where they take their joy from.

sprigatito · 05/12/2024 14:54

Get her one of those mugs with "fridge pickers wear bigger knickers" on it for Christmas. Fill it with Percy Pigs.