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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think WFH means I am WORKING

108 replies

Bounty9 · 05/12/2024 13:24

I got a fully remote job about 7 months ago. It's amazing - I love it. They are really flexible and I use my breaks to do drop off/pick up for DD who is 2 and all in all it's working well. She has had the odd day sick where I've been able to work because she's just laid on the sofa all day.

BUT, my DH thinks I am sat here dossing around all day. He gets pissy when I haven't put a wash on in the day because I've been too busy (some days are really full on and I get 10 min to eat my lunch, others are quieter and I use 10 min to tidy up round the house).

Today is his day off with DD and he woke up feeling 'really really unwell', which means he's been bed ridden all morning. I had to beg him to just watch her for half hour this morning whilst I had a 1:1 with my manager, and then he asked if I could take her out for the morning so he could rest and just 'work from my mobile'. It's driving me insane. Why does he think my job is any less busy or important because I WFH now and how do I get it into his head that I'm not here twiddling my thumbs.

OP posts:
turkeymuffin · 05/12/2024 13:43

You're confusing 2 things.

1 - yes wfh is as valuable as working outside the home and all the nagging about housework etc needs to be addressed.

2 - if he is supposed to parent on x day but is genuinely too sick to do so, there needs to be a new childcare plan made. He's not unreasonable to ask you to take the day off. Or phone grandparents etc. obviously all of that is dependent upon exactly how sick he is. More likely he should be powering through and getting out of bed.

TeenLifeMum · 05/12/2024 13:42

I would lose my mind dealing with him. Dh wfh and I’m hybrid. Some days I can do house stuff between meetings but other days I can’t. On those days Dh makes me a cup of tea so I get to drink something. Your Dh is a disrespectful arse.

Brefugee · 05/12/2024 13:42

do you have an office? (at home)

Close the door, lock it if necessary, ignore him. If he is too ill to look after child you have to decide if you want to take time off to look after her. If he is clearly just a bit sniffly, he can arrange alternative childcare.

You are working. You are not available. (having said that: i do bung in a load of washing while i make tea, for eg, or load/unload the dishwasher)

LeroyJenkinssss · 05/12/2024 13:40

Where are you working from? Is there a way to separate that from the main living space and it becomes the work office?

tbh you need to have a proper sit down with him and reiterate that he needs to give his head a wobble and realise work is work regardless of where you are. Or start sending him random messages during the day asking him to get x and y “whilst he’s out”. When he complains that he’s actually in the office just point out the hypocrisy.

Lavender14 · 05/12/2024 13:40

I would say if he's genuinely too ill to look after your dd then you need to take the day off too look after her op. Or even half a day.

I would say on the whole though, his general attitude to it is wick.

nightmarepickle2025 · 05/12/2024 13:39

Yanbu but there are frequent Mumsnet threads where people complain that their husband hasn’t taken a day off work when they’re too ill to look after the children….

LimeYellow · 05/12/2024 13:37

He asked if you could take her out for the morning - that would drive me insane! You need to be very firm and keep saying over and over that you're working.

NotTerfNorCis · 05/12/2024 13:35

There's a big campaign against WFH in the right wing press. It encourages people to believe that working from home means not working. Ironically, the journalists churning out these articles almost certainly work from home.