To think WFH means I am WORKING

My dh was like this until he started working from home...

How about dc goes to nursery in his day off moving forward amd he does the housework?

Rethink your marriage. This is a huge red flag.

Your husband is totally ridiculous to ask you to take her out for a morning! My husband has the most laid back WFH job I've heard of (as long as he makes up time later) and taking a whole morning for childcare would be a major thing to ask.

I can understand thinking WFH has some level of flexibility that an office doesn't. Like you say, often you can take 10 minutes to put on a wash or tidy up etc. Even in my job which is quite "bums on seats", I can do that most days.

But you need to have a strong word with your husband and really hammer it home that working from home is still working. Don't let him brush you off with an "OK, I get it", really make it clear that this is unacceptable and he needs to understand. It's not unreasonable to expect you to occasionally do some extra home things in my opinion, but getting annoyed if you can't is totally unreasonable.

I do think you've slightly undermined yourself by having the 2 year old home with you when she's sick though. That wouldn't be acceptable at any WFH job I've had, and I can see why it makes your husband think your job isn't quite as busy as you say it is, if you can risk being on-call for a sick toddler at the same time.

My MIL doesn't understand when I work from home that I actually need to work, she thinks I'm just having the day to myself. It must be even more frustrating when it's your husband that thinks this.
I confess I do put the washing on and do a little bit of housework if I can because my one wfh day is like gold dust and it's pretty much the only opportunity. But anything like childcare wouldn't be an option.
You need to be frank with your husband and firm about what you can or can't do. It's tricky when you're busier at different times of the year too- I find I can do more done in the summer as workload is quieter. I've barely been able to do anything this autumn term as most days have been flat out. Failing all of that - go out to your library!

Is he actually sick or is it 'dressing gown of doom man sick'.

If you had the level of illness that he's currently suffering, would he take the day off work to look after DD or would you just crack on?

OP, you're going to have to be clear about what your working day entails, although why he can't work this out is puzzling. You probably need to get some extra childcare plans in place, though.

That was astonishing! Relaxing in the bath, doing gardening, going to the gym, doing the school run, housework etc and having daytime tv on during the actual work! It was quite an eye opener.

Sounds like DH wants his day off old style not day off with child.

I wonder if he was like this Op when you were on maternity leave? Some men seem to get a bit too comfortable with leaving everything to their DW when there's someone at home all day, even though you're now doing paid work he still thinks tasks fall to you just because you're there. Maybe it's time for a re-set, tell him you'll go back to the office and he goes back to doing 50/50

Do you get paid? (I assume you do)

Then just ask him what the fuck he thinks you get paid for if he thinks you aren't working?

Also ask him why he hasn't been smart enough to get one of these magic jobs where they pay you to sit at home all day and do nothing?

This is the down side of home working. I’d go to a library, shared space etc. If he is to ill he should have a back up plan or you need to take a day off as long as he does the same for you.

Yes, obviously just take what’s needed 👍🏼

my ex was like that during Covid. i was working my socks off remotely and he was expecting me to work, look after kids, clean cook dinner and potty train the little one whislt i was home. total lack of respect.

Emergency leave for dependents does not necessarily mean the whole day. For many companies, it’s just enough time to arrange alternate childcare.

Unpaid parental leave typically requires written notice.

Great if you work for an employer who allows you to take leave at a moments notice but for most it’s not possible.

You know the answer to this one - you have a DH problem. He simply doesn't consider your work as important or relevant as his. If he did he wouldn't expect you to simultaneously work and provide childcare (be he ill or "servicing the car").

From what you say the difference with you working at home is that you have 1.5 hrs per day where you are not commuting and can save a bit on childcare. That is the only "extra" time in the pot and if you are using it for childcare then quite often not a lot else will happen.

You need to get back to a 50/50 split, maybe with an allowance for the small amount of extra time at home - he can revert to that or you will return to the office and he can do all the extra drop offs/pick ups etc.

How much housework does he get done on his day with DD? Is he pulling his weight on those days or just fobbing her off on you whilst doing other stuff?

I don’t know to be honest.

DH can never ever put a wash on or empty the dishwasher when he’s wfh because he’s working and is oh so busy. But then if the car needs a valet or something he can. So yes I’m cynical. Expecting you to take DD out is obviously ridiculous though.

Firstly, you need to have a conversation with your husband about how your work differs from his and that when you're working from home you are actually doing the same work you would do in the office, just not commuting to the office to do it. You're going to be just as busy and at meetings and such but they will be online meetings, not in person meetings.
As such, you are at work. You may need to get a sign for the door of your home office and when it says "Mummy is working", they leave you alone. If it says "Work is Finished" or "On a break" then they can knock to come in or you can go and put on a wash (not necessarily take it out of the machine when it's finished so your DH should check that) but that's if you get a chance.
If he keeps interrupting you while you work from home, then move to the library (but will you be able to make/receive Teams calls from there if you need to??) or you'll go back to working in the office but that would mean a complete return to the 50/50 split of all of the chores.

Put the ball in his court and get him to really think of the consequences of what he says/does next.

I’d go out and work from a cafe in future. If you’re not around, you’re not available to fill the vacuum. My DH used to pull the same stunts when I was wfh and he was off with our 2 year old. It was so, so irritating! You’ll need to be firm
and consistent for this behaviour to stop.

I would absolutely go and work from the library on Thursdays. Apart from anything else, it can do you good to have a change of scene occasionally (I also wfh and recognise this).

If he's too ill to care for your child then you need to do that.

For all the other times he either understands you're working and can't look after the child, he doesn't understand and so you leave the house or he doesn't understand nor wants to care for your child so you have to put her in childcare.

The former is the best outcome. Is he a bit stupid or just selfish? The middle forces him to do what he's meant to do (pathetic to have to treat him like a child). The latter is the worst and would make me question how he feels about your and your child.

Or he'll turn up with the kid to choose library books and see Mummy.

Your H really has got a nerve. I'm working from home at the moment full time because I'm waiting for complex surgery. I normally work in a clinic.
It's full on and if I'm caught away from my desk if someone team calls me or sends an email I'd really be in trouble.
I certainly don't have time to clean up or put a wash on. I'd be furious if someone treated me like this.

I wouldn't take a day off to let him stay in bed and die quietly unless a) he was properly sick and b) I was quite confident he would do the same if asked irrespective of how awkward it would be with his employer. [save causing huge disruption if medical or similar]

You need to sit him down and set out how he is taking your job for granted as though it is not a real job and you can just drop everything when asked. If he doesn't want a day with DD then it's an additional cost for nursery but you will lose your job if your employer thinks you are taking the piss.

That you've noticed you have both slipped into a routine where you are doing all the logistics with your child constraining you at both ends of the day and he is sniping that small tasks at home aren't done. Probably precisely because you have not a second to lose all day. It's not fair and if the boot was on the other foot he would quite rightly be annoyed.

Definitely go to the library next week, but don't tell him that's where you are, because he'll probably come up with an excuse as to why you need to go home