Or is this Santa post unreasonable?

I suspect that's what the vast, vast majority of people do if they don't teach their kids to believe - but kids blurt things out or say things they shouldn't all the time, so parents can't realistically expect a 5yo to understand to keep quiet and not spoil it, imo.

And a couple of lies put a lot of children in very much harms way.

A couple of white lies protected me from harm.

We can agree to disagree though.

So there is the truth, lies, white lies and discretion and you never lie but you do use discretion.

What was that about politician land.

You really think it is morally superior to tell the old lady her parents are dead and buried when she thinks they are coming to see her soon? You think telling the girl who has no confidence that she looks a mess is morally superior? Your idea of being morally superior is obviously different to mine but maybe you use your discretion which makes your lies morally superior.

They are old enough to understand their parents telling them that if they shout it out it may upset some of their friends who do believe, and that would be unkind and unnecessary. They might not always get it right, but you are doing them a disservice if you don't expect them to try.

So again the onus is being placed on the child telling the truth

No. And no I don't believe teaching young child lies of any colour is acceptable, because they are children.

And by teaching that breach of trust you are making that child vulnerable to adult predators. If you don't see that correlation then I suggest you start considering it.

Why is it bizarre, the other poster said as a society we need people not to lie, some lies are actually the way civilised people behave.

Why is it bizarre, the other poster said as a society we need people not to lie, some lies are actually the way civilised people behave.

So again the onus is being placed on the child telling the truth

No. And no I don't believe teaching young child lies of any colour is acceptable, because they are children.

And by teaching that breach of trust you are making that child vulnerable to adult predators. If you don't see that correlation then I suggest you start considering it.

It isn't asking them to maintain the lie, just to keep their opinion to themselves when they know sticking in their two cents' worth will cause upset or offence.

More so if their opinion hasn't even been sought as IME it is rarely said as part of a general discussion or a slip up, it is almost always announced with the purpose of upsetting the audience.

We're talking about little kids here though - they're not mature enough to fully understand the consequences of what's upsetting and what's not. They're also not going to understand why mummy and daddy can say Santa isn't real but they can't.

What a bizarre take.

There can be an inbetween.
Something like santa that children naturally grow out of is not going to stop children from being moral upstanding citizens.

There has to be emotional intelligence too. Children learn there are times for honesty and little white lies. 100 percent honesty never works. And a lot of time honesty is just opinion.

They dont have to say anything do they? Nobody has to participate. But at the same time if a child mentions santa you say oh thats nice whatever. Not youre parents are liars santa is not real.

I am sorry but your examples are nowhere near the same.

To be clear again I don't lie. My children are taught not to lie.

I may use discretion as an adult.
A child is unlikely to be given they are a child.

If you don't understand that the truth is morally superior then you really aren't going to understand it.

So when I don't tell my elderly relative that her mummy and daddy aren't coming to get her I'm a liar? No I am a compassionate person who sees no point in telling her she is wrong.

So when I don't tell my elderly relative that her mummy and daddy aren't coming to get her I'm a liar? No I am a compassionate person who sees no point in telling her she is wrong.

@CynicalSunni Equating children with speaking the truth isn't people displeasing. It's what we want as society, authentic individuals with strong sense of morals. That means not lying.

The issue is the entitlement attitude of adults lying wanting other adults and child to participate. Using the guise of it's tradition is veiled discrimination of those who hold different beliefs and isn't very nice is it.

So when I don't tell my elderly relative that her mummy and daddy aren't coming to get her I'm a liar? No I am a compassionate person who sees no point in telling her she is wrong.

Maybe you should read your post. You said, "That means not lying." So do we need to lie sometimes or is it the absolute you were making it out to be. I'll give you another example, when I visit an elderly relative with advanced dementia and she tells me her mummy and daddy will be coming to collect her soon do I say that's nice or do I tell her they died years ago and she won't be seeing them again.

The truth isn't always the morally superior option.

You might white lie because you are an adult.

A 5 yo would undoubtedly tell them the truth and quite possibly laugh.

Seriously, lying by omission is lying anything else is in politician land!

We are talking about from the age of 5 and asking them to lie is wrong. And anyone teaching them to should consider how bloody vulnerable they are leaving that child.

Maybe you should read your post. You said, "That means not lying." So do we need to lie sometimes or is it the absolute you were making it out to be. I'll give you another example, when I visit an elderly relative with advanced dementia and she tells me her mummy and daddy will be coming to collect her soon do I say that's nice or do I tell her they died years ago and she won't be seeing them again.

The truth isn't always the morally superior option.

It's not lying though. They're not being asked if santa is real or being asked for an opinion on the matter. It's on the same level as not telling someone you know what present they are getting for their birthday. You may know but there is no reason to tell them. If they do/did say something, they wouldn't be punished for it or anything.

Really, are you that ridiculous.

We are talking about five year old children if you have ever met one then yes they may very well say unintentionally hurtful things, because they are children.

We teach this for safeguarding. In case you haven't heard, it works!

You are welcome.

My children were simply told that some people believe santa is real so dont go spoiling it for them. And as far as I am aware they didn't. They didn't have to lie. They just said nothing.