Or is this Santa post unreasonable?

She actually doesn't recommend this though. If you read her full post on the matter, she says there's no such thing as a "gentle parenting approach to santa", you can have him or not have him, each to their own, but for those interested this is what she did in her house. What's so offensive about that??

These are exactly my feelings.

I think it’s for individual parents to decide.

Well the car park fairy never looks after me. I'm still worrying about granddads leprechauns. After he died the house was demolished as part of a road improvement scheme, where would the leprechauns have gone?

You're gonna tell me the car park fairy is a myth too ....

Don't expect to find a space tomorrow!

I’ve not read anywhere that anyone says you can’t be honest about Santa if you’re religious. I said they are similar untruths. Blind faith, a proportion of the world believes whereas others know it’s not true.

Religion is a debatable subject. You can say you don’t believe. It’s not rude (or ignorant) 🙄

I’d never call the FC thing a ‘lie’ though. It’s a benevolent sort of fib, a bit like the sort of what is called ‘love lies’ for people with dementia, when telling them the truth is only going to cause a lot of distress - when they’re going to forget whatever you say so quickly anyway. (I have too much experience of using those!😩)

The 'magic' stopping is more likely not related to Santa but to children growing up and getting older and ageing out of that initial kind of Christmas 'magic' age generally, which is where they perhaps aren't as interested in all the Christmas stuff us parents like to think is magical

I agree. It's completely normal for some kids to start getting bored with big family holiday events as they get older. Not so interested anymore in the pre-Christmas activities and family outings that they enjoyed when they were younger. They become more friend-oriented and less "let's drink cocoa and look at Christmas lights!".

For some parents that means the " magic " is gone.

And then there are people who love the holidays and everything to do with Christmas their entire lives. It will always be magical to them. Nothing wrong with that either😀

The one thing I've discovered through this whole thing which I hadn't really thought of pre-kids is the sheer level of suspension of disbelief and the elaborateness of the stories required to maintain the belief for some kids, and I think that's maybe what my problem with it is as I was comfortable enough when the belief was vague enough and didn't require any details.

Maybe I just have a very sceptical child, but in order to answer her very reasonable questions in a way that would stop her asking them, I would need to come up with very elaborate stories, and that's the point at which I found myself feeling uncomfortable about it. Which surprised me as I never thought I'd be one of 'those' parents about Santa, but responding to her genuine questions with nonsense left me feeling really grotty about it.

Unfortunately 'what do you believe/think?' doesn't buy much time in this house either, DD1 wants to know how stuff works and doesn't like being fobbed off with that technique!

Ultimately I'm probably a bit relieved about it as I did sort of dread whenever she piped up with a question about it. DD2 doesn't really like Santa so far so we may just avoid it altogether with her. Seems a bit pointless trying to push it when she hates the sight of the guy!

I think there's a lot of projection on this thread where it's parents who feel it's less magical, not kids. I don't think for a young child who is that peak kind of Christmas age that believing in Santa or not makes any difference. This will be the first year my 5yo doesn't believe and she's just as Christmas mad as ever, it doesn't seem to have made any difference, and we will still do all the fun Santa stuff, putting a mince pie and carrot out, hanging stockings, etc. because it's a game and make believe. Pretend play is my DD1's favourite kind of play (alas).

The 'magic' stopping is more likely not related to Santa but to children growing up and getting older and ageing out of that initial kind of Christmas 'magic' age generally, which is where they perhaps aren't as interested in all the Christmas stuff us parents like to think is magical! But it can be linked to a tangible and we humans do like tangibles!

Those of us with very young non-believers or kids who have never believed view it differently I think, because Christmas is magic for them regardless. But they will still age out of that very young kind of Christmas joy as everyone does.

Eh no just because it seems to be against your English attitude it is not rude. Yr don't rule the world anymore lads.

Sorry, there was a whole debate with another poster. I love Santa and having my toddlers believe!

The person I disagreed with, was saying that believing in Santa, and believing in God, were both an example of believing in a lie. So if a family chose to be truthful about Santa not existing, because they didn't agree with lying, they would also have to be "truthful" that God didn't exist. Then they were pretending to not understand why they were totally different and unrelated situations, or why equating them was rude (and ignorant) 🙄

It is both less magical and less unfortunately lots of people, that is why they seek to preserve it fir their children. I was OK when I found out the truth, but I was upset when my youngest sibling did. It definitely took the magic away, even though we still did stockings etc.

Children who grow up in healthy families understand the difference between bad, damaging lies and lies told for fun and magic.

Sorry you weren't the one who said that.

Being polite is a good trait and morally superior to being rude.

I'm religious and don't find it disrespectful at all. I was told the story of St Nicholas and so were my children, he is Santa Claus.

My husband has white hair and a white beard, it is lovely to see little ones entranced when they see him and pointing out to their parents that Santa is there in ordinary clothes. I've never heard a parent contradict them.

Another lovely child to be proud of.

How lovely that those kids were so thoughtful. You must have been proud of them.

Well the quantity of absolutely people who are unable to think or conceive that their lie is culture is hilarious but yes frightening.

But honestly the level of absolute stupidity is rather clear on threads like this.

You can compare it "you must not lie as that is what society needs." Sometimes it is what society needs, sometimes it is what humanity does not need.

If you just meant we shouldn't lie to children perhaps you should have said that. One of the things you have actually said is, "Not lying is morally superior by any scale. The lie is irrelevant." So tell us where your discretion and white lies comes into that and tell us how it doesn't relate to the elderly person with dementia?

Let kids believe in magic. You have a tiny window of your life where you believe magic can be real, why as a parent would you deny your kids that opportunity? I adored believing in Santa, found out he wasn’t real when I was about 9, was mildly disappointed, moved on, enjoyed Christmas still and now get to enjoy and create that magic for my own kids. It breaks my heart that some parents can’t see the joy in that.

Critical analysis and religion? You must spend a lot of time frightened!

Do you really not understand the difference?

Because the lack of critical analysis skills is beginning to actually frighten me.

Ah touché 😂