To TTC given the circumstances?

We started trying before our wedding but, honestly, I’m glad it didn’t happen until afterwards. I was lucky and didn’t get morning sickness but holyyyy, I was exhausted and, in hindsight, would have struggled to have enjoyed our wedding and honeymoon as much as I did not being pregnant. I was barely conscious during that first trimester 😂

That being said, loads of people get married pregnant and have a wonderful time! And I do really understand where you’re coming from with your dad - I’m really sorry about his health struggles.

Maybe you could do a happy medium? Don’t try, but don’t prevent prior to the wedding, then really go for it afterwards if it hasn’t already happened for you. Whether pregnant or not, you will have an amazing time and I wish you a massive congratulations in advance.

If it had been me I wouldn't have waited but that said I am ND, and live very much in the here and now.

I would wait until after the wedding🙂

Don’t wait. It’ll be a happy wedding if you are pregnant. Maybe try to build in some flexibility to your plans for the day so you could make it “lighter” if you need.

Good luck @GeraldineGrang3r with whatever you decide. Please update the thread one day, hopefully with good news!

I was sick constantly during the first trimester and a bit beyond. Felt so tired and nauseated. I would not have been up to getting married

It is a risk to delay at your age.

Have you ever been pregnant? If not you have no idea if you or your partner may have fertility problems, or need to get on an IVF waiting list.

At mid thirties you really don't want to be putting off having children.

It's a very personal decision, I started trying at 34, and will hopefully have a newborn just before I turn 37. I have no trouble getting pregnant, I actually got pregnant the first month of trying, but have had losses and complications. Personally, for this reason, I wouldn't try to conceive immediately before my wedding because I would be too fearful of having another loss. We therefore haven't even planned a wedding, and won't do until baby is here.

The morning sickness is another potential good reason to delay. Every pregnancy is different, I had horrendous morning sickness with my first pregnancy, which ended in a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks, but have sailed through my current pregnancy so far with no morning sickness whatsoever.

Sorry to be all doom and gloom, when I was 34 I wouldn't have thought like this at all, but that was before I'd even been pregnant or experienced any losses.

Ideally you should be taking folic acid for three months before trying, so if you're not doing that then I would definitely start. Plus some vitamin D. My partner also took some male fertility vitamins by procieve.

I'd use the time to be putting yourself in the best position to ttc so youre still working towards that goal and setting yourself and baby up for the best possible pregnancy experience.

With my first we had some reasons we had to wait but it was all I could think about. Channelled that into eating right, exercises, particularly core, Pilates, yoga etc and doing a pre baby bucket list. Just sushi, cheeses etc. Also tracking ovulation so I understood my cycles better. It made me feel I was working towards the baby, and still on that journey even though we weren't trying. A healthy lifestyle improves ttc chances and sets you up for a better pregnancy

I wish we’d got married before we got pregnant but Covid.

also I’ve felt like I’ve been hit by a truck in the first trimester of all my pregnancies so unless you are in second trimester there’s a chance you will just endure your own wedding and not enjoy it

I personally would get going. I was similar age and did that (even though we had lots of reasons to hold off for a few months)

This - I wouldn't wait. Nothing about fertility is guaranteed, and whilst you are far from old in fertility terms, you aren't young either. If you're in a position to raise a child, skipping 5 cycles for your wedding seems silly to me.

If your journey goes well, the downside is you won't be able to drink. If it doesn't go we, you'll be so glad you started earlier.

I would wait because whilst most women are ok, some are horrendously ill during pregnancy to the point where you would struggle to get through a wedding let alone a honeymoon.

Just be ready to conceive straight after.

I'm going to disagree with the majority here and say that in your mid thirties, if you are emotionally and financially ready, it seems mad to delay TTC over a wedding. You might fall pregnant easily, but it could take a while or you might need fertility treatment to fall pregnant. You've no way of knowing until you try.

I really feel for you my dad died of cancer 1 month after my little one turned 1, we lived with them for the first year of her life but I'm still angry that that is all we got time wise.

I would say as long as your finances work as in getting the enhanced mat leave then Crack on you never know how long it will take.

I’d wait it sounds like got a lot on at minute and shame to potentially affect your wedding and honeymoon. May will be here before know it.

I would wait, not because of the wedding, but because you're being pushed to it by the situation with your dad.

I did my first attempt to TTC just after if gone on long term stress leave and it was a bloody awful decision to try. Not in the right headspace at all to be making long-term decisions. If you got pregnant right away it could play badly with your mental health, which can be tricky to get yourself out of in pregnancy.

I'd at the very least give it another couple of weeks to get your head out of the immediate shock.

I had hyperemesis with my second. I couldn’t have got through a wedding, no chance at all.

Even standard morning sickness could
make the day pretty awful.

I definitely wouldn’t actively plan to get married while pregnant.

How old are you? Mid 30s 33 or mid 30s 36?

I don't see why you'd wait tbh, if it's just about the wedding. I was heavily pregnant at mine and it was amazing, absolutely gorgeous. I loved having the baby be part of it, it felt extra special feeling him wriggling around in there on such an important day for us as a family.

I don’t think your reasons for wanting to start trying are at all unreasonable. My only caution is you don’t know how you will fare in pregnancy, so you need to be alive to the fact that it could really ruin your enjoyment of your wedding. I was as sick as a dog for the first four months of pregnancy. Couldn’t keep food down, or be in the presence of a lot of hot foods, and was exhausted all the time. Other women have HG which can be genuinely debilitating.

Some women are of course absolutely fine, and you may be one of them! Or you may be happy to take the chance that you’ll need to scale back the wedding if you’re not up to the original plan. But have a think about whether you’ll be ok with that when the time comes.

I’m sorry about your dad - what a worry for you all. I hope he stays well now ❤️

I would wait. Hormones are playing tricks on your brain.