Page 4 | When is it polite to leave??

WeddingPedding · 2024-12-04T20:40:19+00:00

I'm attending a wedding, I really don't want to go. Ceremony starts at 2.30pm Speeches & food 6pm "Games" and music 8pm Special fun hour 12pm-1am It's been expressed bride wants everyone to stay until 1am When can I leave while being polite? Do I have to stay until 1am?

Howmanymoredays · 04/12/2024 21:41

HorseyHorsham · 04/12/2024 21:13

Do You know (officially) the bride wants people to stay until 1am?

Are you expecting others to leave with you?

I will say, you sound like my mother from about 25 years ago. She started by leaving early, then just not going, then not RSVPing. Her increased refusal to socialize increased to a point where she hates interacting with anyone other than on precisely her terms. In short she has become odd and reclusive. It creeps up on you, but it always starts with “how soon can we leave”. It’s no way to live.

Maybe she is happier when she doesn't have to interact with other people. I know I hate having to, and have declined all social activities for years. Why should people have to endure being around other people if they don't want to be? Because someone else says they "should" enjoy it (even though they don't)?

stargazerlil · 04/12/2024 21:40

bolwin1 · 04/12/2024 21:22

It depends on your relationship with the bride to be - if you are not very close friend, then slip away when the main dancing starts around 9pm. If you are the groom, I'd suggest staying a bit later.

Or maybe overnight even?

stargazerlil · 04/12/2024 21:39

WeddingPedding · 04/12/2024 21:35

Perform my duties?!

Show quote history

Yes, the usual wedding duties. dance, and drink , make a show of yourself slightly drunk, lunge at the bride occasionally telling her how beautiful she is, smile and nod at relatives boring stories etc etc.

Original poster

WeddingPedding · 04/12/2024 21:35

stargazerlil · 04/12/2024 21:02

They are paying for your free dinner, they will expect you to stay and perform your duties until the end. So polite would be when bride says so.

Perform my duties?!

OP posts:

Original poster

WeddingPedding · 04/12/2024 21:33

LigamentBandy · 04/12/2024 20:47

Agree, don't make yourself go x
(Games and fun hour makes my palms sweaty! Not a fan of enforced fun! )

Exactly, forced 'fun' - urg!!

OP posts:

bolwin1 · 04/12/2024 21:22

It depends on your relationship with the bride to be - if you are not very close friend, then slip away when the main dancing starts around 9pm. If you are the groom, I'd suggest staying a bit later.

Owl55 · 04/12/2024 21:22

10 pm seems reasonable , maybe you should have not accepted an evening invitation if you planned leaving early . I would be peed off if I’d paid for an evening buffet for a certain number of people and they didn’t stay , that place could have been offered to someone else .

RubyRedBow · 04/12/2024 21:20

I’ve been to some weddings where people have left after the meal as they didn’t want to stay for the party but I’ve noticed people start to leave in dribs and drabs from 9.

80smonster · 04/12/2024 21:20

9-10pm. The trick is not to say goodbye: French exit. Everyone will be drinking, when asked you can say it was about 11ish.

AyrshireTryer · 04/12/2024 21:17

Do you have children you can use as an excuse to get back home.
Generally 10pm

Prisonpillow · 04/12/2024 21:14

I’d feel comfortable with 10.30.

Pistachiochiochio · 04/12/2024 21:14

Is "special fun hour" a euphemism?
I've got a 10 month old - even if I get a babysitter I'm asleep by 11.

coxesorangepippin · 04/12/2024 21:13

Special fun hour???

HorseyHorsham · 04/12/2024 21:13

Do You know (officially) the bride wants people to stay until 1am?

Are you expecting others to leave with you?

I will say, you sound like my mother from about 25 years ago. She started by leaving early, then just not going, then not RSVPing. Her increased refusal to socialize increased to a point where she hates interacting with anyone other than on precisely her terms. In short she has become odd and reclusive. It creeps up on you, but it always starts with “how soon can we leave”. It’s no way to live.

mnahmnah · 04/12/2024 21:12

Leave when you feel like it, as long as the meals and speeches have finished. They won’t notice and if they do just say you weren’t feeling well.

TrippTover · 04/12/2024 21:11

10pm. Honestly no one will even notice someone leaving mid-party.

Caffeineismydrug35 · 04/12/2024 21:10

I think anytime after 9 is fine.

EmraldSky · 04/12/2024 21:09

2.30pm to 1am?????!! how can she expect everyone to stay until 1am? i would stay until around 8-9pm as long as all the food had been served by then. rude to leave before all the food is out

Helixpoint · 04/12/2024 21:04

its polite to stay for the first dance

stargazerlil · 04/12/2024 21:02

They are paying for your free dinner, they will expect you to stay and perform your duties until the end. So polite would be when bride says so.

DinosaurMunch · 04/12/2024 20:53

Stay till the end of the meal then go while people are going to the toilet after it. Before the start of the games

SpeculativeHoumous · 04/12/2024 20:50

No one is going to stay til 1am!

Cerialkiller · 04/12/2024 20:49

Will they even notice? Slip away after any of the weddingy have finished. First dance, food, speeches etc. make sure you speak to bride and groom a couple of times do they see your face then go.

I doubt anyone will question you after the fact and if they do say you had a lovely time but couldn't keep up/drank too much/needed some air and you think you left a bit earlier, 'ooh maybe midnight maybe a bit earlier' I left my cousins wedding at 9. I had travelled for hours to get there and after everything was shattered. Bride was too drunk to notice or care. Nothing was mentioned.

Seekingstyle · 04/12/2024 20:48

After the first dance/cake cutting

LigamentBandy · 04/12/2024 20:47

Agree, don't make yourself go x
(Games and fun hour makes my palms sweaty! Not a fan of enforced fun! )