To have walked out of my work Christmas party in favour of dining alone

In reality she was at a drinks party of around 50 people for an hour and a half. No big deal whatsoever to leave. No need whatsoever to make such a drama out of it.

This is what I think. It sounds run of the mill to me. Quite alot of people there. She’s new and doesn’t know them well.

There’s normally no expectation that people stay any particular length of time at these things.

I think the words “walked out” give the wrong impression- OP left. Walked out suggests an ostentatious flounce, and it sounds like she left quietly and without anyone noticing.

There's nothing wrong or odd about leaving after an hour and a half when it was just drinks in a bar.

It's pathetic however coming on here bigging herself up as if she'd something extraordinary and outrageous and brave.

You can use tonight only the groundwork for tomorrow. Say you had to duck out as feeling unwell, and what a shame this means you likely don’t feel up to another do.

Good on you! In retrospect it was probably better to have not gone in the first place. I have recently ducked out of a 'Christmas do' because I couldn't face making small talk over a cheap meal with people I don't really know.

You could always say you suddenly felt unwell and thought it best to leave. Maybe a migraine? Or something like that. Or, you got a phone call from someone needing you urgently. I'm not a fan of telling lies but if there's anything that fits, sometimes that's a little kinder than "Nothing would induce me to spend a moment of my time, unpaid, with you."

I'm with OP on this. Despite misgivings she gave it a try, it wasn't for her so she left. 90 minutes of her free time and the getting ready and travel time and effort, all unpaid, taken up because her work decided to hold something out of hours and people are made to feel they should go.
I'd love to do a show of hands at these parties as to how many people actually want to be there.

Or to look at it differently, honesty for putting her head in the door and then leaving. Why is there an expectation to attend these occasions, if you find them hideous? Expecting others to enjoy things is equally immature

Do you think they noticed?

The older you get, the more that you realise that nobody gives a fig about you leaving early & are quite bewildered as to why you'd be telling them that you're going!

Having read all the OP's posts it's all a bit "ooh, look at me, I'm such a rebel"

In reality she was at a drinks party of around 50 people for an hour and a half. No big deal whatsoever to leave. No need whatsoever to make such a drama out of it.

It seems arrogant, but perhaps it is the sort of bravado that actually masks an anxiety/ insecurity? If this is the case for the OP, they will not have been alone in feeling that. Apologies to the OP if I am wrong about this, I don’t them after all!
Still, better to try to be honest and just tell someone you’re going to slip off as it isn’t really your thing, than just to disappear, in case someone worries. Then again, I guess it depends on the set up.

Whereas you sound absolutely delightful...

I voted that you were being unreasonable, but then, having read all your replies, I have changed my mind and commend your honesty. Life is too short to have to play somebody else’s game. The ‘do’ from which you escaped sounds like my idea of hell too. Perhaps it’s one I would have endured when younger and less confident, but I just now politely decline. The only thing I would suggest you did wrong is to not at least tell somebody (line manager?) that you had to leave.

Maybe she should have stayed and improved the quality of the conversation!

Yeah, this is what I have experienced in London too. People leaving at random times because of other commitments or just because they want to. Not always saying bye either. Didn't affect their career or anything.

I absolutely HATE work parties and don't go at all. No reason given. I just don't reply to the invite. I've been promoted twice, so no, not career ending.

Yes I have done this many times too. I don’t think it was bad of OP to leave, but it was rude to not let anyone know. I always messaged when I’d got home safely.

OP hasn’t said if anyone has asked if she’s ok, but if they haven’t bothered I think that says quite a lot about her relationship with colleagues.

I really doubt anyone will have noticed your exit or care if they did!

I am so glad I am self employed and no longer have to tolerate the corporate world. It bored me when I worked there and I would be far less tolerant of it now.

I did dodge as many Christmas events as I could but the social pressure to attend and pretend to enjoy them is a thing. As is amply evidenced in this thread!

But why does she need to make an effort? I would consider the ‘freebie’ bit of the night as the ‘work do’ and the remainder as ‘stay out if you want’. It’s a night out outside of work hours, I don’t consider there to be any obligation to stay out

I think it totally depends on how many people were there and how visible or otherwise your exit was. If no one noticed, then no big deal; if you obviously ditched your new colleagues then you might experience a bit of backlash, but you sound hardy enough to take it!

OP I can guarantee that nobody cared and that this is not going to be an issue for your job AT ALL, given the details: 50 plus people, big corporate group partying in Oxford st. I can also guarantee that posters that seem to be so offended by you leaving this kind of party have never worked in a similar company, or they would get it.

Some of you would never want a night out with me because I always perform a French exit, usually because I’ve gone outside to cool down and just think ‘I’m not going back in’ so just go home and text my mates from the train/cab.

Obviously only if there’s a group I wouldn’t leave a couple of grounds but that’s pretty normal in our group.

But belong old I can use my arthritic knee as an excuse for a quick get away.

My partner has worked his way up through companies over the last 30 years, and done the Christmas thing many times.

In all the companies he has worked for, if there is a booked activity like bowling, or a sit down meal, then it is polite to stay for the duration of the activity and probably a drink or two after. At a meeting like the OP describes, 1-2 hours is enough time - go round and do the getting your face seen thing, say hello to everyone and meet people you have not had a chance to meet yet, then nobody cares if you leave quietly after that. Often the bosses have been some of the first to go, usually after sorting out a good sized bar tab for people to spend.

Sometimes he hasn't gone - some of the London dos are a bit shit - lots of eye wateringly expensive alcohol, barely any food, music you can hardly hear each other over. Some of the dos are very cool - boats, foreign trips, etc, and those you need to stick with. But when he has slipped out and come home, or not gone at all, it has definitely not affected his career.

If there were 50 people there, that’s a lot of people. Doubtful that many would even notice if someone slipped out. Especially in a bar. I agree about Christmas parties, and I used to force myself to go every year. Until I got a bit older and thought why am I doing this?? Life’s too short. I think it’s quite common these days for people to bow out of attending them.

Meh, I would've done the same thing. Where in your contract does it state you must attend social functions with colleagues?! Absolutely no where! You do you!

I’d just tell them tomorrow that you felt ill and had to make a hurried exit.

And in my workplace no one would care if someone left early although if someone noticed they’d probably be worried about you!