To have walked out of my work Christmas party in favour of dining alone

No, I don’t think you were rude. You attended, stayed a while, then left. I wasn’t aware that there were rules about how long (or even if) you should attend. Perhaps it might have been polite to say something along the lines of “I’m sorry, but I must leave now” rather than just disappear, but otherwise, you have my sympathy, there’s nothing worse being stuck somewhere you’d rather not be.

This thread is like another universe. Honestly Im nearly 60, been working since I was 18 and never really noticed anyone slipping off early from a bar/party let alone judged them for it.

Oodiks · Today 00:45

"This whole thread is hysterical - so wildly judgmental!!"

It's unhinged ! " Marked card, obnoxious, shocking behaviour, rude and arrogant " etc. all because she left a bar full of 50 people after one and a half hours.

Why are you asking us then. You obviously thing YANBU.

FWIW I think that's rather rude. leaving early like that is hardly better than making an excuse not to go.

You're gonna look very odd

I'd always heard of the Irish goodbye rather than the French exit! I'm Irish fwiw. Might have done the odd Irish goodbye in my time.

It’s leaving without saying goodbye, yes. In French, of course, it’s ‘filer a l’’anglaise’ (to leave in the English way).

Why are you considering yourself some kind of feminist icon because you left your works party after an hour or so?

I totally get not wanting to make pleasant but dull small talk but you have to start somewhere with people. Once you get to know them, you might find they’re not so dull. I run a social club and the first thing I tell anyone new is to keep coming because you need to give people a chance and give friendships time to develop.

But anyway, I do think you were kind of rude and they will eventually pick up on the fact that you think yourself above them. From your posts, I think you will rather like that.

Is a french exit just walking off? I haven't heard that phrase before.

If it was drinks at a bar would the expectation not be to have a drink, bit of a chat then people just go home when they want? I wouldn't worry about it. I think I would have said I was going though. Probably just oh I need to get off now, see you tomorrow. Where I work I don't think anyone would be bothered if people went for a drink, didn't, or only popped in.

Why would they have persuaded you to stay? Maybe they found your conversation ‘dull, dull’ they might have cheerily waved you off!

Have you had many office jobs? Surprised it's taken you until 50 to learn how to avoid the enforced 'fun'. Anyway you're here now, so don't feel bad! Also - party shoes and underwear? What? You work in London no one wears heels here anymore. Free yourself!

I would have told someone I had a terrible migraine and please make my excuses for me.

The thing I really don’t get is why you’re writing like you’re Emmeline Pankhurst, chaining yourself to the railings of parliament. You went to a party, you stayed for over an hour, then you left. There’s nothing of any note in that.

Totally agree - good I. You and I doubt people will give a damn

This ! I probably would’ve have had the courage to do it - but I wish I could

also in my experience realistically - you’re unlikely to face disapproval at work in my experience

It's fine OP. You showed your face - no-one has to stay until the bitter end.

I agree with OP. Life is too short to spend time doing things that don't make you happy. She doesn't enjoy small talk but made the effort for an hour and a half. Of her own unpaid time. Doing something that was making her unhappy. I very much doubt people will give a damn, especially as it was busy and a bar and no sit down meal. Sometimes it seems like the hive mind on MN takes over and everyone goes along with the initial few replies. I say good on you!

OP, as the master of the French/Irish exit, I commend you! Office parties are torture for the introverts among us, and being new, and it being a boring party - I am impressed you lasted 90 minutes. Which yes for London is an absolutely acceptable length of time to make an appearance and then take off. Hope you enjoyed your delicious meal.

Life is too short to. I would have done the same.

Maybe so op, but most people would still find just walking out without telling anybody extremely bloody rude, regardless of it was a man or woman.

My sweet summer children, there are worse things to worry about in the world. If OP doesn't want to attend her works Christmas Party then it's okay. Let her be.

I know right. Adults arguing over Christmas party!

Why?

Really weird behaviour, to be honest. Rude too. Definitely not how I'd like to come across in a new job. I mean, I don't much like it either, but if you've committed to going then you should stay for a reasonable length of time, including the meal!

Personally I couldn’t care less if you upped and left. Where I think you were thoroughly impolite is the fact you didn’t tell someone you were leaving if only to ensure you were safe rather than excuse yourself I will add (you’re an adult you don’t need to ask permission to leave). I’ve been to many Christmas parties and very few have actually been enjoyable. Loud music where you can’t hear the conversation, drunks, the office letch and the almost obligatory puker no thanks.