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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have walked out of my work Christmas party in favour of dining alone

419 replies

Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 19:52

New employer..I don't know many people as yet. Works Christmas party on Oxford st. No real entertainment, no food (yet!) and dull dull small talk, which, to be honest, was never my strong suit. God it bored the absolute tits off me. So I've walked out at 7.30pm in favour of dinner alone in a nice Turkish restaurant. Sod wasting a child free night on that rubbish! Life's too bloody short! Should I have stayed to show willing, AIBU for leaving...or would you do the same? Yes I've seen the mistake in the title and no I can't change it.

OP posts:
Abstractthinking · 04/12/2024 20:16

No-one will have noticed, or would have assumed something at home came up.

Rudeness in my book is making insulting and obnoxious comments. Not disappearing. Although if your workmates are as self-righteous as the posters on this thread, you may have problems!

allthatfalafel · 04/12/2024 20:16

I wouldn't work with boring people.

Original poster
Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 20:15

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/12/2024 20:13

You won’t get to know anyone if you can’t be arsed to make some effort. And I don’t for a minute believe everyone there was boring. If all of your (minimal) interactions were boring take responsibility for your part in that.

Oh I do. I can't be arsed with small talk. I'd rather get to know people in small groups where I can hear what they are saying without crappy loud music and people bumping into me and sloshing drinks.

OP posts:
Fairislesweater · 04/12/2024 20:15

Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 20:13

50 plus I'd say. Yes I think I'd not have walked out of a sit down do.

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Well there you go, I think that’s fine.

RubyRedBow · 04/12/2024 20:15

Why would OP card be marked? 😂 Nobody will think oooh she left early let’s push her out of the job.

Mum2jenny · 04/12/2024 20:14

I never ever attend formal departmental do’s but I will go to small discrete pissups with a select small group of work colleagues which is actually fun.

coxesorangepippin · 04/12/2024 20:14

Just had my Christmas lunch

I was squished between two people as the table was too small

And the food was rubbish

So no, I don't blame you, op

Peachy2005 · 04/12/2024 20:14

Probably best to fudge and say you felt a bit unwell and didn’t want to make a fuss…if anyone asks. The excuse kind of works for skipping tomorrow’s party as well. Hope you enjoyed your solo meal!

Merrygoround8 · 04/12/2024 20:14

Was it a meal, or a bar? If a meal was on the way you have been very rude but if it was milling around a bar with drinks and nibbles I think it’s fine. People won’t have noticed.

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/12/2024 20:13

You won’t get to know anyone if you can’t be arsed to make some effort. And I don’t for a minute believe everyone there was boring. If all of your (minimal) interactions were boring take responsibility for your part in that.

Original poster
Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 20:13

Fairislesweater · 04/12/2024 20:12

how many people were there OP? A sit down dinner of a dozen people is quite different to a bar with 50 people

50 plus I'd say. Yes I think I'd not have walked out of a sit down do.

OP posts:
ChannelyourinnerElsa · 04/12/2024 20:13

Err rude. And as a manager I’d be furious if you slipped out of a party before the meal and telling no one. It would have been polite to at least say to one person that you had to leave.

You have acted in an obnoxious fashion here and it would definitely mark your card in my team- I wouldn’t allow that to affect how I viewed your work performance- but I wouldn’t forget it in a hurry.

Original poster
Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 20:12

TwigletsAndRadishes · 04/12/2024 20:10

Well it's up to you, obviously, but if you are quite new then it's hardly going to endear you to your colleagues or your boss.

My boss wasn't even there!

OP posts:
Fairislesweater · 04/12/2024 20:12

how many people were there OP? A sit down dinner of a dozen people is quite different to a bar with 50 people

HoundsOfSmell · 04/12/2024 20:12

i would have stayed, however my colleagues are a laugh and likeable.

Original poster
Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 20:11

ChloeCannotCanCan · 04/12/2024 20:08

Agree totally!

You have been so rude and it will be noticed, prepare to be unpopular Op.

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Being unpopular does not faze me to be honest. You'll never be everyone's cup of tea!

OP posts:
MellersSmellers · 04/12/2024 20:11

Well, I understand why you did that but there may be fallout of some sort if it was noticed. For example? It may make it more difficult for you to gel in the organisation.

AmandaHoldensLips · 04/12/2024 20:11

I love a French exit and would have done exactly the same. If you get questioned about it say you were abducted by aliens and have no recollection of the evening.

TwigletsAndRadishes · 04/12/2024 20:10

Well it's up to you, obviously, but if you are quite new then it's hardly going to endear you to your colleagues or your boss.

PullTheBricksDown · 04/12/2024 20:10

Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 20:01

I bloody well hope it hasn't marked my card! I wasn't exactly the life and soul of the party so don't think I'll be missed.

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So it didn't even cross your mind that this might be the outcome?

You're hardly putting the effort in yourself. If you'd agreed to go you might as well at least try to talk to people. Do you actually like your new job and workplace?

Thunderpants88 · 04/12/2024 20:10

So ignorant and rude. I hope you paid your own way!

I would be so ashamed if my DH or kids did that. Your not better than anyone else in the room and your basically saying “you are all boring and I would rather spend the evening alone”

honestly I can’t believe you did this. If I was your employer I would be fuming

Happyinarcon · 04/12/2024 20:10

Part of forming relationships and links with our wider community involves being at social events when we’d rather be elsewhere. It’s just like having a strong extended family sometimes involves spending Xmas day with people you might not like

SleepToad · 04/12/2024 20:10

I've slipped away from a works do...pretendous bar we went too and went for a drink somewhere better. Went down very badly with the boss (was and probably still is a @#£%) Told him I was paying for my own drinks so what was his problem, I rejoined everyone later.

Mind you I'd already decided to take redundancy that was on the horizon

EmeraldRoulette · 04/12/2024 20:09

Fairislesweater · 04/12/2024 20:05

I’m surprised at some of the responses on here. Maybe it depends on your industry or workplace ethos but I’ve never ever worked anywhere where this would be an issue. In fact our big boss only shows his face and then ducks out as he hates seeing his employees get shitfaced. It’s quite normal in my world for people to drift off during the evening without doing the rounds saying goodbye.

edited to add I’d be pretty pissed off at my ‘cards being marked’ by something completely outside the workplace but again maybe that’s down to the industry. I’m not in a job where networking or showing face matters

Edited

Same

i have never worked anywhere that people would pay attention unless it's in the last folks getting cabs at 2am and then you check in with each other

if a sit down dinner is happening, it's different but for just drinks, no one notices, especially if there's lots of people there.

you'll be engrossed in chat and then think "oh Sarah went home". Doesn't matter. We're all adults!

edit - just remembered someone got left at a venue when there was a coach home. Clearly I worked with the irresponsible people 😂

Original poster
Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 20:09

Overthebow · 04/12/2024 20:05

Work parties are just one of those things you have to get through. It looks bad if you don’t attended even worse walking out.

So not attending at all would have been better? Noted. There was however rumbling that it was expected we would attend. Well I did, just not for long! Why do we have to 'get through' it though? I went out of a sense of duty and then thought... I am not being paid for this. And it is tedious...

OP posts:
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