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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have walked out of my work Christmas party in favour of dining alone

419 replies

Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 19:52

New employer..I don't know many people as yet. Works Christmas party on Oxford st. No real entertainment, no food (yet!) and dull dull small talk, which, to be honest, was never my strong suit. God it bored the absolute tits off me. So I've walked out at 7.30pm in favour of dinner alone in a nice Turkish restaurant. Sod wasting a child free night on that rubbish! Life's too bloody short! Should I have stayed to show willing, AIBU for leaving...or would you do the same? Yes I've seen the mistake in the title and no I can't change it.

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 04/12/2024 20:30

Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 19:57

No. French exit. And I'm not french.

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I like your style, an Irish goodbye. Stealth mood. Whoosh you’re gone
YANBU

XxSideshowAuntSallyx · 04/12/2024 20:30

I was at mine earlier, I was bored and fed up and wanting to go home after about 2 hours. I was the organiser so I couldn't really but boy was I desperate to go home. I left after seeing everyone that mattered and knowing my parking had 30 minutes left.

For me it wasn't the people but it was noisy (and I couldn't concentrate on the conversations),, I couldn't hear anyone and I wasn't drinking. My tinnitus is now playing up and all I can hear is ringing in my ears.

Caravaggiouch · 04/12/2024 20:30

Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 20:28

Not really I'm just no good at it. And it feels dull..oh the weather oh so and so outfits nice isn't it oh weren't the trains a mess earlier. Yawn. Surely there is an alternative?? Some people are really magnetic don't get me wrong and they can make any topic seem amazing and interesting and they are full of relevant anecdotes. But many of us mortals aren't!

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People trying to make small talk with a new colleague? God yeah, so yawn. If there’s an alternative why didn’t YOU initiate that alternative conversation if you’re so much better than them? Tbh sounds like your colleagues have had a lucky escape that you’ve pissed off early.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 04/12/2024 20:29

It would have been OK to leave if you had done so in a polite and friendly manner. You didn't and all your answers on here are rude and snippy as well. I think that speaks volumes

Original poster
Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 20:29

Arrette · 04/12/2024 20:29

What kind of industry are you in? Do companies really have several “do’s”, must have a lot of cash anyways!

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It's a big global company, work across multiple teams.

OP posts:
LlynTegid · 04/12/2024 20:29

I think you should have told someone, even if you had made up a reason. Texted someone to phone you, taken the call, and then left because of an alleged reason to need to be home.

I worked once with a team who were largely boring to be with socially, and would have reasons not to go to such events, other than the odd one once a year so it did not look too bad.

Harshtruth1111 · 04/12/2024 20:29

Erm
Maybe she just values her own time.
Why should she care what people think
Good for her!!!
I'm proud of her for not forcing herself to sit through someone she didn't want to!!!

Arrette · 04/12/2024 20:29

Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 20:06

Whether I should bother with the next Christmas party ..which is tomorrow! And there are more after that. Think I have Christmas party fatigue!

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What kind of industry are you in? Do companies really have several “do’s”, must have a lot of cash anyways!

Caravaggiouch · 04/12/2024 20:28

It absolutely reeks of thinking you’re better than everyone else and they’re beneath you spending your time with. So, so rude. As someone else has already said, if every single conversation you have is boring, the common denominator is you.

Sunholidays · 04/12/2024 20:28

I'd probably have said goodbye to a couple of people just to feel better about the whole thing.

WhistPie · 04/12/2024 20:28

Going, showing your face, then leaving - well done OP. Just pretend you were around most of the time, with 50 odd people there nobody will have noticed that you left and you can say that you went. I admire you!

Original poster
Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 20:28

Allfur · 04/12/2024 20:19

People who can't be arsed to make small talk, often think they're above it.

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Not really I'm just no good at it. And it feels dull..oh the weather oh so and so outfits nice isn't it oh weren't the trains a mess earlier. Yawn. Surely there is an alternative?? Some people are really magnetic don't get me wrong and they can make any topic seem amazing and interesting and they are full of relevant anecdotes. But many of us mortals aren't!

OP posts:
Fairislesweater · 04/12/2024 20:27

Eyresandgraces · 04/12/2024 20:25

I find it quite worrying that you're a manager with such a judgemental attitude.

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Agree. As a manager myself I find this quite unprofessional. Illegal or amoral actions aside, it’s not my business to judge my staff members’ behaviour outside work.

Hello113 · 04/12/2024 20:27

It's not a very good first impression. I'd have stayed for a bit and then made an excuse I had to be up early for something and I definitely would have said goodbye. I think it was rude to have not even said goodbye.

AngelinaFibres · 04/12/2024 20:26

Calmhappyandhealthy · 04/12/2024 20:06

You seem proud of your rudeness

Not really sure why

Because Op is far too fabulous to spend time with such a dull bunch.Im sure they will all try to be more like Op.Or ,more likely, they'll just think you are
Odd.
On the spectrum.
Incredibly rude.
Totally socially awkward.
It's unlikely to do you any favours in 2025 Op.

Harshtruth1111 · 04/12/2024 20:26

Btw
You are my hero!!!
Seriously!!
I would have loved if all my colleagues left one by one because I didn't have the guts to do it in my 20's.
In my 30's, I don't bother attending. I don't bother with an excuse but if probed will say I'm visiting relatives etc.
Hate the whole staff outside of work gatherings.

Randommother · 04/12/2024 20:26

I don’t know why people are giving you such a hard time over it. It sounds like a crap do, with no food by 7:30. Fuck that, life’s too short! If anyone mentions it just say you weren’t feeling well, I doubt anyone will though

Original poster
Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 20:25

PeakSheep · 04/12/2024 20:23

You could have found someone you work with and made an effort to get past the small talk and get to know them better. Or were you the most exciting person there and everyone else just isn't worth your time?

Very snotty of you.

I did do that for a while. But I work work these people already know them pretty well. I just got so bored. Definitely not an exciting person haha otherwise I'd have been the life and soul wouldn't I and I wouldn't be on here?!

OP posts:
Eyresandgraces · 04/12/2024 20:25

ChannelyourinnerElsa · 04/12/2024 20:13

Err rude. And as a manager I’d be furious if you slipped out of a party before the meal and telling no one. It would have been polite to at least say to one person that you had to leave.

You have acted in an obnoxious fashion here and it would definitely mark your card in my team- I wouldn’t allow that to affect how I viewed your work performance- but I wouldn’t forget it in a hurry.

I find it quite worrying that you're a manager with such a judgemental attitude.

Caravaggiouch · 04/12/2024 20:25

I’d find it really rude if one of my team or my colleagues did this. But enjoy your meal.

Fannyfiggs · 04/12/2024 20:25

I love this.

Exactly OP, they don't own you, you're not a child and don't have to ask permission to leave.

I would have left too but I'd have told someone I wasn't feeling well and needed to leave. But we're all different.

Hope you enjoyed your solo, peaceful meal ❤️

Allfur · 04/12/2024 20:24

AlisonDonut · 04/12/2024 20:20

Yes we are. What of it?

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No-one's above it, or more special than any one else. We're all as human as each other.

Fairislesweater · 04/12/2024 20:24

Mum2jenny · 04/12/2024 20:22

I’m guessing several ppl may have worked out you leaved early OP, as I’m thinking as a new employee you will have been watched to see if you fit into the corporate system.
This is exactly the comments I’ve made to my dd who has just started a new job, and they are watching her like a hawk!!

This sort of comment makes me very glad I don’t work in an industry where this matters. Why on earth should people feel
under pressure to perform socially? Unless the job itself or PR based or requires networking, who cares if people want to stay at a Xmas do or leave early??

Tetchypants · 04/12/2024 20:24

Namechangey23 · 04/12/2024 20:18

What is better though, forcing people who don't want to be there to stay through politeness? They are not my keeper and if I want to leave I can of my own free will. I don't need to put my hand up do I? I've got autonomy. I came out of politeness in the first place and look where it got me!

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Have you considered at some point they’ll realise you’re missing and might get concerned? Nothing will highlight your flounce more than the boss/HR getting contacted out of hours because you’re AWOL.I get you didn’t want to be there, but walking out without a word is pretty childish.

Also… 50 people cannot all be boring. If every conversation you had was dull, check out the common denominator.

AlisonDonut · 04/12/2024 20:24

Just say you had a headache and had to go. If anyone asks.

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