Do you tell your partner what you want for Christmas?

I can’t bear wasted money, especially on presents so my husband and I always give each other lists of what to buy.

It’s not that he doesn’t know me (and he should - we’ve been together over 30 years!) and we would be able to buy presents each other would like without lists. But by giving lists, not one penny is being wasted and we’re getting things we love, rather than merely like.

I buy it myself & he just gives me the money.
Or he buys his too, and we’re even then!

My family, we like to go shopping together.
Everyone just points out the gift they want.

We get surprises from Santa for the kids.

I'm even worse- I take my DH to the shops and we buy our presents together. I then buy the wrapping paper and he takes what he needs to wrap my presents and I do likewise. No fuss or need to return things. The job is done and we don't think about it until Christmas morning. Happy days.

Can't stand "surprises". We also get stuff on Black Friday so the price is cheaper, we don't see the point being ripped off. 25% in White Stuff, no way would I want DH paying the full price!

It depends. I give ideas and direct links depending on what it is I want and DH does the same. He has a particular hobby that I often buy things for and generally he’ll pick something specific for it. There’s always little extra surprises involved too though!

Yes, I don’t want shit that I don’t want. Dh is pretty good at coming up with other things too. But Dh’s presents are what he sends me a link to. I hate buying gifts. I don’t do it for family. I only just about do it for my dc (Dh still does most of it and does all the stocking stuff). I love him. I cook wonderful meals. I plan great holidays. I’m a great wife all around. The trade off is I don’t do gifts. If you want them, you need to send me a link. That’s just how it works. To be fair, neither of us are fussed about gifts. We have a happy life. We don’t need to buy eat other junk.

I do but we do token gifts mostly. I’m quite fussy by now and don’t like useless stuff so it works better.

I have adhd and am rubbish at choosing gifts for people, I find it so stressful I much prefer to get a wishlist and pick from that so it's sort of a surprise. For myself however there is very little I want and I'd hate anyone to waste money so I'd absolutely prefer to state exactly what I want and (unreasonably) would be a bit disappointed if I got something else - however I would not say so

I do a wish list and he picks from it.

Most people we know do it this way.

Our teens give us list too. And when they were younger they wrote letters to Santa.

Good way to avoid disappointment.

Perfectly normal here, to provide a 'wishlist' for those that want it, yes.

Generally though, we don't tend to get each other things anymore, as we are now in a position to be able to buy something we want as and when we see things, and neither of us wants anymore clutter (or things we don't really want) in the house.

A surprise can be good or bad though!

He has a general idea of what I like (having wanted the same all the years I've known him) so the actual product will be a surprise, but if there's a book or something I want I'll buy it, give it to him to hide away, and then hopefully by Christmas I'll have forgotten about it and it'll be a surprise. (Until later on Christmas Day when I'll remember it and he has forgotten it and forgotten where he hid it! 😆)

DH only really appreciates 'hobby' items so he buys them himself.
I send links or point things out for me.
We have enough going on without both going out and buying things the other won't fully appreciate.

After getting an ugly fleece one year followed by a sat nav the next (I didn't even have a car!) - yes, I now do this and it's GREAT.

Oh and DP and I are both impossible to buy gifts for anyway because both of us have quite specific tastes in the things we like (I love music and that's why no one should ever get me anything music-related) and if we really want something we'll have bought it for ourselves already.

Yes I'll send a link ir a photo. Or more usually we do a trip to London prior ro Christmas and I'll choose something....

I send DH a list to pick from. Though he is generally quite good at also finding me a surprise.

No, but DP and I are both bad at presents and don't especially enjoy the whole rigmarole. We agreed fairly early on that presents are a really crap way of determining how much someone loves you and the whole "my partner must be able to telepathically know what I want and get me 2-3 perfect presents every year" mindset isn't conducive to a healthy relationship.

Birthday presents are fancy meals out because we both love them. Xmas presents are small - funny tokens or practical items, something we can use or which makes us smile, but are not meant to be "meaningful" in any way.

I don't really see any issue with telling your partner what you want though. It doesn't spoil anything. If it works for your relationship that's all that matters. The heart of the relationship is how it makes you feel the 363 days of the year you don't receive presents, not the 2 days you do.

I hint. I do like surprises and he's generally pretty good at getting me gifts.
The problem is when he asks me what I want, I never know what to ask for!

This is exactly what I do too. DP is dreadful at buying presents, and I'm particular, so this way he is guaranteed to get it right.

Except when he tries to be clever and goes off piste - he gave me the "wrong" ruby ring for our 40th anniversary because the stone was bigger. I like it, but I don't love it, so it doesn't come out often. You really would think he'd have learned by now 😂

I have in the past sent a link but now I'd rather just go shopping myself and not get a present from him. Gifts are not my love language so doesn't bother me at all.

No I am super excited to open stuff that I really want to get!
He does add a couple "off list" and we really only buy token gifts to have a few things to open as we also give ourselves a set figure from our joint account to spend or save as we wish. I like to buy things like a spa day with that.

My birthday isn't long after so the list rolls over to that!

I send lots of links to DD and she tells DH and he gets me some of those those things

Yep, we do lists. I'm better at getting stuff off list for DH; but he's not great at that for me. So now I send a long list of lots of items of differing costs & then he can share it with family too.

I would like my husband to take the initiative but unfortunately after many years of crap presents (potato ricer anyone?) I now send links. I do links because even if I do just tell him he will inevitably get the wrong one. A lesser quality or different colour to what I wanted. It's easier this way. although to be honest I still sometimes get very little. I know he hasn't ordered anything yet whilst I have done all the shopping for almost everyone.

I do a list and have done for years he supplements it with a few bits I usually like