Do you tell your partner what you want for Christmas?

Yes, me too. I don’t make a list as such, but I’ll say things like “ooh they’ve got a new hot chocolate in Whittards THAT I’D LOVE FOR CHRISTMAS” and then he surreptitiously (not) makes a note on his phone.

This year I’m getting a new ring and I’d much rather I chose it than him!

I just have to post this here as it's very fitting:

Just reading thru this and I'm feeling a bit sad now..
I do love my DH and know he loves me he just doesn't express that via gift giving.. but I can't even give a list because it seems to put stress on him. One year he asked me to tell him what I wanted for Christmas and we were stood in a shop so I pointed at a few things around and he just got really arsey with me saying 'do you think I'm made of money?!'
I think he might have felt pressure to buy all the things I pointed out?? So now I just pick one specific thing and tell him, then that's what he gets me.
It's sad because I like surprises.
But it's a difference in how we were raised.
His family are all people who ask for one specific gift. This is how he expects it to be.
If I give him a long list of stuff to choose from it feels tense. We both feel bad. I feel grabby and he feels pressurised.
Really I would like to be able to give a longer list so there was more an element of surprise with what I ended up getting.
I mean if we are being honest I'd love a partner I didn't have to give a list to at all.

Mine is the worst gifter. For my birthday I got an empty Xmas stocking (and a note to say my other gift was late). I wasn’t born around Xmas

so this year I said I want this one specific thing which is very cheap. He still managed to fuck that up but we had time to rectify. And I bought my own present and stocking fillers. I’d rather have some nice to open in front of the Dc than fake it with his shit.

We've always done this for each other, with surprises thrown in here and there (I bought him a ps5 one year and he actually cried 😭) but I'd much rather get something I want. This year I want a hoodie, it's about £60 so quite expensive compared to what I normally wear but I'd rather him get me what I actually want.

I do this too. He’s so amazing in every way but gift giving 😂 he used to get so worried at Christmas so now I send him a few idea I want and then he’ll get me a surprise too. Most people I know actually do this too

I do this. I don’t like surprises or crap gifts and I’d get both if I didn’t tell OH exactly what i want. I tell him, he buys it, everyone is happy!

Yes, I give him a list of about 6 things from expensive (about £1000) to cheaper (about £100) and that way I know I'll at least get something I want!

I do a list with links and so does he. We always put loads on and still don't know what we'll get.

Never. The whole point of gifts is that they should be a surprise. Sending a request or, worse, a link, is just miserable.
And in 30+ years, he's always chosen well.

Maybe grow up a bit. You're an adult presumably. Why do you want presents. That's really strange behaviour.

We don't do xmas presents for each other but for my birthday I sometimes send dh a link. I know it takes away the surprise but if you want something very particular then it is helpful!

No my husband never gets me anything anyway so there's no point. It's all very selfish asking for or getting gifts. I really don't understand adults that ask for or expect presents. It's very weird and greedy.

I do the same as your friend. Always have, rather than not say anything, you end up with presents you don't like. Tbh by the time Christmas comes, I usually forget what I asked for, so its kinda a surprise.

My husband picks out lovely thoughtful gifts, but if he wants to get me something I actually want, he has to ask. And yes, I normally send him a link to something specific else I might get the wrong version, size, colour.

I give him a list and he gives me one and we pick a few things. Then I don't end up with a book I've read or a lipstick I don't like.

Yep I do that means I get exactly what I want. So does DH.

I actually hate gifts, if I want something I want to pick the one I actually want not have someone else try to guess what I might like.

So at Christmas we each basically get free reign to spend a bit of money on something we each want. We're both happy as we have exactly what we want

Years ago a friend said to me " do you want to be disappointed on Christmas Day ? Then let your husband choose presents for you 😂
My ex got me in no particular order an electric tin opener , a white plastic belt, an ugly grey waistcoat, a stand for my iPad and a set of felt pens ( both and that was the sum total). He did do well one year by hiding a pair of 1.5 carat diamond studs inside a tiny cuddly toy! My current gets told what I would like and he prefers though though he still has a tendency to panic and impulse buy in a random gift shop. Eg one year he bought me leather Union Jack gloves 🙄

I do what your friend does. I send few options so it’s a surprise what exactly it is while being something I really like/want

We circulate lists around the family, all working from the same list, and DH goes from that whereas I tend to ignore it. DS1 always ignores the list. I tend to be not too specific with my list, DS2 sends actual links. Making sure we don’t buy the same as someone else means lots of pre-Christmas private texts and adds to the buildup.We don’t spend a lot on presents, around £30. But it’s something to open, and something we want but might not have spent money on ourselves.

I realise this makes us sound like a bunch of eight year olds!

No because if I had to do that i would just buy it myself

I always send my DH a list. It has loads on it. From mega millions to packets of seeds. He can choose whatever he likes. He also, usually manages one or two things I didn't expect.

It is normal.
In an ideal world we'd all marry partners who had the same sensibilities as us..
I married a man I'm actually really good friends with and have 90% shared interests with.. he still would be unable to get me something I liked. He's just too 'masculine' in the traditional sense of men just being shit at gifts. I'm sure there are men out there who are good at it and enjoy it.. but I'd say majority don't. My DH just sees it as a waste of time because we could 'just buy whatever we want ourselves anyway'
He genuinely doesn't get any joy from giving or receiving gifts.
He's tried on his own a couple of times and altho I appreciate the sentiment and it was nice to see him try... I do just tell him a list of what I'd like for him to pick from. It's a total waste of money otherwise as he's just clueless. He also somehow always manages to give away the surprise.. he drives me nuts with it cis we have 3 kids and he doesn't hide gifts we'll enough..
I think it's just not how he grew up. His family weren't big on gift giving or surprises. Everyone asked for 1 specific thing abd then they get given that specific thing.
To me that seems pointless because yes in that scenario he's right, you may as well just buy it yourself.
It's the surprise and the magic I like.

No
I like a surprise
I might pass a book or a dress for example in the run up and say oh that's lovely or I've always wanted to read this ...
Also I have daughters who from early teens were able to tell him ha ha

Yes we say what we want. Or the type of style such as a brown leather bag similar to this etc

I always choose my own gifts, but this is because we have joint money and my husband would spend a ridiculous amount and it would make me feel bad rather than making me happy, because I think of all the things I could have spent that money on instead for the benefit of the family. He would buy me truly wonderful presents but I would feel so guilty about the cost that it just doesn’t work.

He would much prefer to be free to go wild, but this works for us! He accepts that I really can’t help the way I am about it.