Keep the magic or he should grow up now

Yes that's what I'd do. 'Oh you still want Elfie this year? Wink, wink. I suppose Santa's little helper here can help out!' and hopefully he will get it.

As a child I asked how Father Christmas could come down our chimneys when they had been closed off..
Dad said ''He has his ways''...I think I knew it was mum ands dad- but the magic and excitement, the run to to Christmas, with the Nativity Play, the Class Christmas Party, it was wonderful.. the crinkly sound of a lumpy stocking as it was hung on the bedpost-
I desperately wanted a rocking horse, and pleaded on my lists to Father Christmas that I'd be very good, and have one for christmases and Birthdays combined...only to be told that it wouldn't be possible.

I used to dream of getting one...Was an adult before I bought my own one, on big curved rockers, just like my dream!

I don't ever recall a conversation in secondary about believing or not believing in Santa, he isn't going to get bullied for it. I still got presents from "Santa" under the tree until I moved out at 21, of course we knew but there was never a conversation, we played along for the magic and tradition and there's no harm in that.

I wonder if it’s more that childhood is cut so short now, with kids having smartphones so young and most of them accidentally viewing pornography in primary school etc. that it’s a psychological reaction against all that? The part of their brains that’s still crying out to be childish but not really given enough opportunities clings on to the innocence of the myth?

Buddha was a historical person. So I definitely believe in him.

Allah and God- definitely the same God, with different interpretations.

Hinduism- inclusive enough religion to hold all the above beliefs at once.

Why not just say “I haven’t had time to put him out yet but I can do it next week. Do you have any ideas for his antics this year?”

This way he can get involved and have fun with it without thinking it’s real and embarrassing himself at school.

PS one extra Christmas of “magic” for a lifetime of slagging? Doesn’t seem worth it to me!

Wait! Secondary school!? I think it’s way past time to drop casually into conversation that elves aren’t real. Tell him Elfie has departed on the last ship to the West if you must.

My secondary school DD kept asking when her elf would appear this year. It never occured to me that she actually believed - I just think she likes the fun of it and wants things to continue. I won't be sitting her down and telling her either, because saying it out loud would spoil the childhood pretence of it for her. I also don't think she'll mention it at school - I think she's clever enough to know that there's a time and a place for this sort of fun.

I don't remember being told as a child either, but of course I knew it wasn't real.

I’d make sure he definitely knows by next Christmas but I wouldn’t want to spoil it so close to this Christmas if he really does believe.

Bullies are bullies and will bully for any reason. I wouldn’t tell just based on that.

I watch the film every year!

And I agree that they shouldn't bully but the reality is that they will. I also think there's a difference between secondary school kids who say they believe with a nod and a wink and a secondary school kid who firmly believes it's real and their parents won't tell them- it feels a bit setting them up to fail to me. I ask myself in that situation-who is benefitting most from pretending santa is real.

Raymond Brigg's wonderful Father Christmas is who I believe in, even now.
A slightly grumpy old geezer with a faithful dog, cat and a couple of Reindeer.
Loved that book so much!

Telling bullies not to be bullies. That'll work a treat!

No plenty still believe, which is why the others need to keep their mouths shut & not be bullies.

@Glitterfish no you don't need to tell him,

he'll believe as long as he wants to. If he asks then just say 'he's real if you believe'

.why spoil his innocent enjoyment??

My ds is the same age and still likes the elf etc. He probably does know the truth, but likes the tradition and fun of it all. I’ve got no intention of telling him because he more than likely knows. But it’s sweet how he’s still excited for Christmas. He’s talking to his younger sister about Father Christmas etc. why spoil the fun.

He’s magic, isn’t he? Same reason he can knock back umpteen thousand nice warming tots of whisky or brandy just in the U.K., and not get too pissed to drive the sleigh.
BTW I have it on good authority that he leaves any offerings of milk (cold milk on a midwinter night FGS!) for the neighbourhood cats.

Why are earth people think it's hard to still believe people still believe in God or Allah or Krishna or the Buddha or.... Unless they are all right millions of adults still believe something made up.

If they believe in a magic man with magical reindeer that flies around the world in 1 night with enough presents for 100s of millions of kids and has a mince pie and a sherry at each house when they are in 13 years old they must be thick.

Tell him asap! He should have been told before he started secondary school.

I think both of my kids chose to carry on believing because they like the fun of it all. Ds obviously kept it going for his younger sister. She is now at secondary but still talks to me about it as if it's all real. A few years ago we had lots of chats about when everyone at school was saying it wasn't real and she concluded that magic is real as long as you chose to believe in it. She has also suggested some outrageously expensive gifts in the last few years and given me a sly look saying it wouldn't cost me anything because the elves would make it. They know but they like to go along with it.

I asked my son just before he started secondary if we needed to have a chat about Santa - he just laughed and said no Mum, I’ve known for ages and that was that. We’ve never mentioned it again and still do stockings, and put a mince pie and a baileys out for Santa though!

Hopefully he already knows and is just playing along but if he truly doesn't then I think it's kinder to tell him because he absolutely will get bullied if his classmates find out. My brother had a friend who wasn't the brightest lad and he believed in santa still at secondary school.He was really upset when he found out and was humiliated by the other boys (and furious at his parents for lying!).

Maybe he is carrying it on in case you don't provide any presents!

I agree - @Glitterfish, you need to urgently make sure that he knows not to talk about believing in Santa/the Elf etc to his friends and at school. He would be teased/bullied unmercifully.

No harm though in continuing your traditions at home for as long as he wants to. 'Santa' still delivers piles of presents to our house and my kids are in their 20s. They still get a stocking too. They have known since long before they left primary school that Santa isn't real...

This is the best idea, giving him that responsibility tells him that it is a make believe, but gives him a way to acknowledge this and accept it.