Keep the magic or he should grow up now

You really have to tell him, he will be ridiculed. I had to tell my eldest the summer before secondary and he genuinely didn’t know. I couldn’t risk him getting bullied for secondary life

My married children 38 is the oldest specifically asked for stockings this year!

That does seem a little old... surely he's seeing things on TV/online that kill the dream by now?

Are there any younger siblings/cousins/friends of the family? You could "let him in on the secret" and get him to help keeping it special for them now that he's so grown up, etc

I think he needs to know. We reminded ours that Father Christmas WAS a real person, and he did such a lovely, kind thing, that people wanted to keep that alive so carried on doing it. Then, when you’re old enough, YOU join in with ‘being’ Father Christmas, keeping it alive for others. They were all ok with this. We told them after the Christmas they were in Year 6.
We have an elf and we all take turns to surprise the rest of the family. They’re 14, 16 and 18 and still have stockings. Christmas is still magical.
Oh, and the dog still believes so we have to keep up the pretence for her!

I have 2 children.

1 in y7 and 1 in y8.

While neither have said anything I was pretty sure neither believed. Its clear my eldest doesnt, but "is going along with it all" (doesnt help she woke up when we did her stocking last year)

My year 7 11 year old has now made me realise that she still genuinely believes....

and I am certainly NOT ruining the magic of what will probably be the last Xmas with a believer.....

(They go to a lovely independant school and I have no worries about bullying or ridicule either)

We have never had an elf either as I simply refused to start it 13 years ago....

Dts knew from y6 possibly y5, y9 know. We never made it into a big deal and we still have the bloody elves, its makes Christmas feel like Christmas to them. I would guarantee he knows.

Either he's pretending or he has some sort of cognitive delay. There is no way that a neurotypical 11 yo brain is not able to see the obvious holes in the Santa story. The chances are he's playing along because he thinks you need it.

I think just tactfully talk to him and see what he actually thinks.

I don't really remember a big "realisation" about Santa etc. It was like one year I fully believed and the next I knew it was my parents but we still did all the usual things, like it was just tradition?

Maybe he Knows but is upset at thinking that means the fun stuff around it aren't an option anymore? If that makes sense?

Yes but you’re not a kid in secondary school so it’s tongue in cheek

Sorry I just dont believe all these over 10s without special needs genuinely still believe! They are having you on surely. I was pretty gullible and love the whole magic thing and grew up in a protected rural setting and even I clocked on by about 8!

Calling people’s dc thick is totally uncalled for! I do not think for a second they “believe” but they like to keep the magic. The 16 year olds I know are all writing lists to Santa. It’s fun. Some adults really do like to suck out all fun. Who hurt you?

We got presents from the dog on Boxing day after tea! How that dog got to the shops, wrapped the gifts and put them on the tree remains a mystery to this day! My mum was brilliant at spinning out the treats over the Christmas period and the dog; 's gifts were the last little bit of magic to conclude the festivities.

Kids, even teens, love tradition and find Christmas traditions ‘magical’ and fun long beyond them believing it is real.

Just keep up the tradition.

oh god please tell him

all children should be told gently before high school! he will be bullied forever for this!

Id just say the elves are only for children in primary school.....

I was friends with a 12 year old who still believed in Santa at Secondary school. Our science teacher started a lesson with "I'm hoping you all know by now that Santa isn't real" she actually ran out of the room crying. She did get bullied but she was already being bullied about other things so I don't know if she would have been bullied for this alone if she wasn't already a target.

Aw that's lovely!!

This. I'm amazed he's kept believing in it for so long.

I think one of my old colleagues handled it best when her son had started secondary school and she realised he still believed. Her husband took him on one side and basically said " hey, mate, I need to talk to you about Christmas. I'm sure you've probably worked out that Father Christmas is really mum and me, but your mum really loves the whole Santa claus thing, so do you think you could play along with it for her sake?" It gave him the chance to save face by nodding along with dad, saved him from problems at school, but also allowed him to enjoy the idea of it all. I'm sure he probably had doubts, but this seemed to me to be a good way to deal with it?

Yeah but some parents don't even try to get their kids to not spoil it for others, they actively encourage it.

I still follow NORAD Santa even though son is all grown up.

I would put money on the people saying tell him tonight for God’s sake are the same people who think it is wrong to ever let children believe in Father Christmas.

Back in the real world kids pretend they believe long after they do - just because it is nice, fun and familiar.

And kids don’t get bullied at secondary school for believing in Father Christmas because by that point they all know it’s a game and roll their eyes at us thinking they really still believe.

I find it hard to believe some of you have ever met a teenager.

I was 7 when i found out that Santa or Father Christmas as we called him was fiction. Still had a stocking or in my case a carrier bag of stuff until I was in my 20's. My mum was brilliant at doing them. packs of tights, sweets, face pack, glossy magazine, and othe assorted silly little things that were just a pleasure to unwrap on Christmas morning. Belief does not matter, it was the feeling of being loved/ My mum had got me all these little treats and wrapped them up for me that was so special.

FFS.

I don't think at 11 your ds thinks Santa is real, he just wants to keep the magic alive.

If anything at this age I think it's even more important to maintain your traditions, it's what makes it still feel like Christmas once the believing ends.