Keep the magic or he should grow up now

Yep far too old now!

My DS is 24! Still expects an advent calendar and stocking, though he has never believed (we never made the pretence)

God that's harsh. If he still does believe "overhearing" that will be very upsetting for him . Not only will it destroy his belief it will potentially also make him feel really bad to hear you imply he's immature and daft to believe.

Unless he has additional needs, he must surely have worked it out for himself? Once a child understands a bit about the world/space/time, it normally clicks into place. Having said that, I would never openly tell a child it wasn’t real! There is no need and it will only embarrass him. A bit of fun with the elf is harmless!!

If you need to say something to protect him, just explain that some children can be unkind as they get older and it’s just best not to get into a discussion about it at all.

I still get a stocking from my mum - I'm 51!!

Aww that's awful, can't stand bullying little ratbags.

Well I can't really recall how the conversation lead to Santa but I do remember a lad in my class in year 7 crying because he thought Santa was real, and, everyone taking the piss of course. He was a lovely lad but clearly sheltered and became a bit of a soft target for the twatty lads and lasses to pick on.

Please tell him, the only question should be before or after December 25th. Schools whatever they try cannot stop all bullying, and then there are the parents who refuse to accept their child does any wrong.

Yes- this.

Very sad thread.

I’m 37 but my mum still does us stockings 😂😂😂 but I do know it’s my mum. I think he’s a bit old for FC and Elfie now Op. I would think he knows surely. Do still keep the traditions and magic alive though.. if your son still believes in FC it tells you one thing for sure- you are fucking epic at Christmas. Xo

It was me who said , For God's sake.

I love the fact that YOUNG children believe in Santa.

I think you should definitely tell him. Not to avoid bullying but simply because at his age it is time (I would say long past time) for him to know the truth. You could do it in an offhand sort of way, it doesn't need to be a dramatic revelation.

I really don't understand the tendency of some parents to insist on the belief in Santa for secondary school age children. Most 6-year-olds can work out for themselves that a magical being can't really fly around the world in a single night, distributing presents to one and all.

I was 13 or 14, pretty old by MN standards
Didn't do me any harm

Really ott responses on this thread. I honestly can’t ever remember discussing Santa at secondary school or anyone being asked if they believed / being made fun of.
my 9 year old dd is a full believer in Santa and the elf and I hope it continues for a couple more years. Life is so short let them have some magic and innocence.

Ask him how he thinks Santa defines boys and girls...see if he cancels Santa then.

Many of us are not religious, so the religious stuff is an irrelevance. Santa is a big part of Christmas.

I would have the Santa chat but he could still have an elf just he would be more aware. My eldest has asd and wasn’t attending secondary school so I carried on for a bit longer but my child was quite young in many ways.

My children know the truth but they still get a stocking from Santa. It's just a nice tradition. Does he really believe or is he just not wanting it to not be real? I was the same around 10. I knew logically it was not true but I didn't want to say it out loud if that makes sense.

My dd knows the truth. Doesn’t mean she still doesn’t enjoy “believing” in the magic. We went and saw Santa the other day. She’s 11. Most kids wouldn’t want to, but she did. She knows the truth, but she can still enjoy it. There’s knowing the truth and still having fun and then there’s knowing the truth because you truly believe. The second one needs to be changed slightly

Ha ha mine still wrote a letter to Santa in GCSE year it’s fun to suspend disbelief and probably something he enjoys as a family tradition and unlikely he’s talking to his friends about Elfie 😂

This. He probably knows, but wants to keep the tradition.

Let him into the "grown-up secret". Also say good secrets are like surprises, eventually they will come out and it's for good reasons. Some secrets are bad secrets because the person asking to keep it a secret means forever and it's usually when this are not exciting for everyone.

He's old enough to know the good secret and he can join in (particularly if he has younger siblings).

Easiest, kindest way to let him down.

My ds is in year 7 and this is the first year he has openly admitted he doesn’t believe. He told us he hasn’t believed for years but played along. We were going to tell him anyway before secondary school but it came up in conversation and we didn’t need to as he told us he knew it wasn’t real. This year he has been setting up the elf for his younger brother and sister every night and loving it. I absolutely would not let my child go into secondary school potentially believing in Santa. Kids are cruel.

Growing up and maturing shouldn’t be something to be afraid of; it should be welcomed. Believing in a mythical character is for young children. Of course, continue to do elf on the shelf, but for the humour (if people actually find it funny!?) but no need to pretend he’s actually an elf.

”Oh son, I completely forgot, would you like to help me find a funny position for him tonight so we can make dad laugh or shall I do it?”

Put Elfie up! - it doesn’t mean he still believes but he can still enjoy all the traditions you have had until now.