Keep the magic or he should grow up now

Tell him! Secondary school is far too old to be believing in Santa!
I have a 9 (almost 10) year old "believer" and this is the last year definitely

I’d get Elfie out and plan with your son what he should do to surprise his dad (if he lives with you). Or you could say ‘ooh, excellent plan, I’ll think of something tonight, then could it be your turn tomorrow? What was your favourite idea from last year?’

Part of the fun of Christmas- we still have stockings, all the way from early 20s dd to late 80s grandma - is being ‘in on the joke’ but keeping traditions going even so.

I'm amazed at the amount of nearly secondary school kids who still believe in Santa. There's been a few posts lately, and last year too. I was a 1960's kid and all of us (except a very few children with what we'd now call special needs) knew by the time we were about 8 years old - some even younger. Things seem to have regressed. Anyway, your son needs to know before he starts secondary or he will be bullied or at the very least teased, which won't be very magical.

At his age I'd make sure he knows the truth but I'd happily keep traditions that he enjoys.

but did you still believe in Father Christmas? 😆not quite the same really 🎄

I'd assume he likes "Elfie" because it's a part of your family's Christmas tradition, not that he really believes Santa is real.

Most children wouldnt believe when they get to secondary school. You can keep up the traditions but he needs to be aware of the truth.

I’m guessing he knows but wants to keep the magic alive. I’d just get the elf out and do what you normally do.

I’m betting that he knows Santa doesn’t exist, but Christmas for him is your little family traditions and he wants to keep that.

Tell him where elfie is kept and let him know that he is in charge of him now that he is in secondary school.

Could he accidentally overhear you asking DP to get the elf down from the loft as DS asked for it - cue "oh, are we still doing the santa thing as well then? aww isn't it sweet he still believes, I'd worked it out before I started secondary..."

*Never

No you ever crush them by telling them outright. They work it out themselves.

Hey ds I found elfie here he is. What should he do tonight. Let s set it up and surprise xxx (if you live with other parent
If he says I thought he moved himself say yeh it was a great game / trick .... but we can still have fun with him this year

I’m of the opinion that you tell a child in the summer time before they start secondary school - if you genuinely think they still believe in all honesty most kids are just going along with it at that point though.

On the off chance he really does believe then what his friends say won’t shake him as they will have been saying stuff for a year or two. In that case December is not the time for this revelation.

I would put money on him not actually believing though, just wants to make sure he gets his presents and keep your Christmas traditions alive.

Ask him why Santa gives rich children more than he gives poor children. Ask him how he thinks Santa can really go around the world in one night delivering presents to everyone. Make him use his brain!!

My youngest is 11yo and at secondary, I also have kids in their 20's. I know she doesn't believe anymore. No conversation necessary. I feign horror when she suggests 'getting things for people's stockings from father Christmas'. She tells me about how her friends don't have and elf anymore because their families don't like it, but she still likes it as she finds it part of her Christmas traditions.

I think that's what your son means maybe

I’m literally thinking the same thing! tonight, before he mention it to his mates tomorrow x

I think it's very unlikely he still believes! He's likely playing along!

Neither of mine believe (yr 6 and yr 8) but they pretend they do and they have a stocking etc.. I'll never tell them there's no Santa and Santa will be visiting until they've left home (and beyond if they come home for Christmas!)

Said it better than I did.

I would tell him. When my DS asked me if Santa was real, I was lucky because he already sort of knew and just needed it confirming. I told him that he was now old enough to be let into the big secret- Santa is real, but the truth is that we're all Santa. Together we create a beautiful magical time for all children, and now he gets to be part of it, he gets to be Santa too.

Oh and my kids still get presents and stockings from Santa despite being 14 and 17 and definitely not believing in Santa. In fact DS1 told me he wasn't real when he was around 5 and I'm not sure DS2 ever thought it was anymore than a nice story I have never told either of them he isn't real I always thought it was just something kids came to realise by themselves. It is pretty obvious after all.

Carry on but make it sort of obvious that it's made up, so he can work it out himself.

Tell him, it’s definitely time. That being said you can still continue with your traditions and keeping the Christmas magic there, the two are not mutually exclusive.

You could ask him. Or talk about it as if you know he knows.- I'm running out of ideas if where to put him, got any ideas ds?