Keep the magic or he should grow up now

This.

We have never done an elf but my last year of primary DC is on his last year of Father Christmas.
We haven't properly discussed it but he knows really. He said 'are you going to put that in your basket ' when looking at things.

Like most kids this age, it's more about hoping than fully believing.

I've just smiled and said 'what do you think ' type answers to his comments..

I think it's best he just works it out for himself. I have told him whatever he thinks he's not to influence his little sister.

You could also say he's maybe best not to mention the elf at school. He probably still just wants to see what you come up with.

Of course they don't. 10 or 11 is very common in my view.

Ah come on , he knows already. He just enjoys the traditions. We've never done the elf thing (mine were older when it started) but we still have the "has he been yet?!" at sparrowfart on Christmas morning and mine are teens and 20s

you carry on the Christmas traditions eg stocking, once the child knows about FC. If you did elf, then I suppose at least you could get him out as a decoration or do something with him

Why can’t you just keep doing it? Doesn’t mean he actuallg believes. Feels a bit depressing to stop cold turkey.

I wouldn't tell my child. I can't remember when I knew but I would have hated my parents telling me.

There's not much magic in the world, let him believe if he still does. I'd still do all the Xmas traditions you've always done, why not?

If needed, I'd go down the route of lots of people don't believe so best not to mention at school that you do. So if he doesn't, but wants to hang on to it you've given him an out.

Same here. And I’m 47.

We have always ‘believed’ even though both my girls clearly knew by aged 10, there is an unspoken agreement in our home that we all believe in Father Christmas.

There is enough reality out there in the real world. It’s okay to let them have magic in their own homes 🎅

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

So.... how do you actually tell a child this? I've not had to cross the bridge but do you just say "you know it's just a fun pretend thing, don't you?" and leave them to it??

My mum was so miserable about Christmas and took every opportunity to tell us what a chore it was that she told me (oldest of 3) that she would only do stockings until my youngest DB stopped believing. My other brother and I threatened youngest DB with violence if he told her he didn't believe. My mum thought she had a 14 year old who believed and we still got the begrudged stockings. That's the spirit of Christmas right there!

I was worried about being i this situation so despite hints like you got last year. I just mentioned in June whilst driving somewhere about how I enjoy playing Santa at xmas. DS was shocked I had admitted it but it was out in the air and no confusion. If you decide not to tell him this Christmas id recommend this!

My teen GC still put out a pillow case.... but they do know it is their parents who fill them!!!

Please don’t sit him down and tell him. He probably knows anyway and just enjoys the tradition, so why ruin it? Him discussing it at school then getting bullied is very unlikely. Let him be a kid at home.

Tell him now. I had a year 7 pupil who found out in class during a lesson and he was visibly distraught that everybody else knew Santa wasn't real. He looked to me to confirm that they weren't winding him up. It was brutal and he looked very upset and very embarrassed. Also, just in case anybody wonders - it wasn't done on purpose to embarrass him.

If you google 'letter to explain santa isn't real' there are lots of sweet options. Maybe that would be a good way to do it?
I think it's really unusual to still believe at this age, do his friends still believe?

I still get my grown men children a stocking and always will! I got my youngests gf a stocking last year and she was thrilled because she'd never had one before, wtf
Keep the magic alive ✨️ 💛

Dd was in year 8 (last year) and said her English teacher said “you’re all old enough to know Father Christmas wasn’t real”. Most of the class were “outraged” and told her she must be on the naughty list. They were very much united in their “belief” and no bullying occurred.

Ps I think a lot of adults still love Christmas in a fairly childish way - you only have to look at how crazy some people go about their baby's first Christmas, when the baby can't even hold it's own head up 🤣🤣

That mythology makes even less sense than the traditional Santa 🤣

It’s probably just become a Christmas tradition for him nothing wrong with that I’m nearly 35 and my DH’s Christmas tradition for me is to get me a new pair of grinch slippers.

Can you just get him involved in the tradition? So ask him what would be funny for Elfie to do tonight, and he can help you with it.

You could even get him involved in putting together a stocking for his dad/the cat etc?

Older kids can absolutely still love "the magic" of Christmas without actually believing in the magic.

I get a stocking and I just turned 56.

I'm guessing he knows, but just really loves the fuzzy feeling some people, me included, get from Christmas.

Disclaimer I'm not outwardly twee, you certainly wouldn't know from looking at me that I secretly believe Christmas to still be a bit magical.

He knows op. He knows. He's trying to spare your feelings!
Why not do elfie? It's part of the spirit/fun of Christmas. I would continue it until he's about 25.
Enjoy😆

Some really dramatic responses on here 😂

I’m of the opinion that you tell a child in the summer time before they start secondary school - if you genuinely think they still believe in all honesty most kids are just going along with it at that point though.

@YourRubyBeaker This is what my DM did because she thought I must know and was just pretending, either that or she worried I would get laughed at. She was right. One girl in my class at secondary did still believe and was made fun of.

And no, to all the slightly incredulous posters, I did not have "additional needs". I was the youngest in the family by a long margin and my elder sisters very much wanted to keep the magic going. Hence, whenever I started to wonder how it could possibly work they would invent or speculate upon a possible explanation. Towards the end of my belief in Santa we had a very specific mythology which allowed for the fact that there were numerous Santas, the presents were actually bought by family and friends who sent them to Santa for him to deliver, his transport changed depending on weather conditions and other weird and wonderful stuff!

I was somewhat disappointed when my own DD had firm doubts at only six.

But, OP, I do agree with others. Tell him without delay. If you don't he will get found out and possibly humiliated before the end of term.