I just found my Christmas present and he’s messed up

YANBU. Buy him novelty boxers, 4 sizes too big. Prick.

OP, I’d tell him and sed take them back now, or they’re going to be wasted. I’d be a bit piss3d off at the ‘XL’, too!

What I’ve done more than once, for a dh who’d otherwise rack his brains, is print out a page showing what I’d like, with size and colour clearly circled, and leave it on his desk. It’s worked very well.

You will have to tell him. It’s going to eat at you, and he needs to send them back asap.

It does bother me a bit, but in contrast I’ll have to listen to my SIL bang on about her new diamond earrings, or fancy coat and other gifts her thoughtful DH has bought for her and I’ll feel a bit hurt. But then I’d never swap my DH for hers because he’s a tosser and has got so many red flags he could have a parade.

I don’t think this comment is very nice, and having lived with a red flagged tosser who thought the diamond earrings made it OK, I would be really hurt to hear a SIL say that. If you think about the types of behaviours that “earn” this payback- no one wants them.

Anyway, would you have time to exchange them before Christmas yourself? It might be the easiest solution, especially if you can do it quietly.

WTF? Did you think that was big/clever/hilarious? It wasn't.

@ChristmasCinchNotGrinch I’ve accepted that my husband is terrible at it and after years of wanting him to change I’ve just decided to buy myself what I want.

At the age of 55 he was diagnosed as autistic and this actually makes a lot of sense. Inability to read the room and see what I liked and to make decisions

He’s got a big running mistress tucked away somewhere OP.. LTB!

I would too, especially give he thinks she is XL 🤣

I just don’t understand how anyone is so bad at gift buying. This man walks past lovely stores. It’s not bloody rocket science, is it?
So Tiffany might be expensive, but MV have some great offers on at the moment. I used to work in retail and all a man had to do, if he had no clue, was to describe his wife, and it was usually easy to find something.
I just don’t get the awful presents which usually
don’t fit either.
Even if budget is an issue, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like a lovely notebook and pen. It baffles me.

Could you say something like if you are planning to buy me any clothes I am a size medium or a 10 or whatever and to double check this as I will be very disappointed to receive something unusable.

Google the items and see if they are in fact Sale Items.... Get him some slippers too big.... Yabu to be bloody grateful he has bought you a gift..

Place-marking for when the OP reveals she bought him a novelty mug, a cardigan he's never worn, and a box of golf tees last year.

😂I would love to be a fly on that (HR) office wall. Secret Santa? 'Larger lady'? Gymwear!!!

Buy him a similar outfit in 3 sizes too small and leave it for him to find, with his name on it 🤣so hell bring up the thoughtless gifts first!

Id bet good money those were in the sale and there was no medium left and he thought he'd save himself a bit of money and hope he got away with feigning ignorance the size is off.
Trying to save himself a few quid was more important that getting you a present you could actually use.

It should just be thoughtful shouldn’t it. DS and his GF have just been away he noticed her make up bag was looking a bit worse for wear so he has bought her one and her going away bag wasn’t so great so he has bought her one. I went along with him but he already knew what he wanted. They are planning at least two trips next year.

My DH was a bit rubbish when we were first together as was my sisters DH. She put up with it, she was nice like that, she is a much nicer person than me but it got her nowhere. I kicked off and complained a lot. He does well now.

Honestly I'd tackle this head on rather than fanny about buying something too large that you have to publically return to give him a hint etc.

Just ask "who's the sport stuff for?". If he says you then, you get to say "but they are about 3 sizes too big for me!".

Then when he has to return them, it's a good time to say you really fancy some jewellery from MV this year (or whatever).

Well done for making posters who take an XL feel like shit.

Is he in a work Secret Santa? Maybe he picked one of the larger ladies he works with and the gym stuff is for her. I wouldn't assume they are for you, despite the colour.

My sister's husband was very good at this stuff... in his wallet were all my sister's details, her dress size 12/M, waist size, underwear preferences, perfume preferences, which brands she liked and even her glove size. Why not share your's with him and say, I thought this might be helpful before you go shopping, so he has a chance to rectify this error?

Can you arrange to meet him at work for Xmas lunch or something, then drag him round all those lovely shops you mentioned. And point out all the things you’d absolutely love whilst mentioning how you really don’t need any more gym wear as your drawers are bursting full leggings!!

I'd say "I'm mystified. I found these clothes, who are they for? Well not me cos they are 3 sizes too big."
Now I buy myself a few lovely things on Xmas day online when the sales start. That's my present to myself.

Any chance that you can return them, get them in your size and pop them back in the cupboard? If they are for you, then you get the right size and he thinks he's the best husband since time immemorial.

Three sizes different is really strange! Either they are not for you or he thinks you look big and told the shop assistant you are big.