Childs dad may be in prison. I am at breaking point

Are you in contact with any of his family? could you ask them what's going on?

If not then what about his ex who he has a baby with? perhaps being in touch with her would be a good thing anyway so that your DS could have a relationship with his half sibling?

Ultimately with little information I don't think I would cut contact but keep it supervised (if/when he shows up). Keep asking around for information so that when you do make a decision it will be an informed one.

I am very much of the belief that a child deserves contact with both of their parents unless they prove to be a danger (either physically or psychologically). Denying your child his right to see his father based on rumour and speculation could be quite damaging and cruel but I absolutely do understand your concerns, I've been there myself!

Sorry to be blunt but this is an absolute no brainer. Keep out of it. If he sorts himself out and is acquitted then it’s for him to approach you and ask for supervised contact. Be aware that if he’s involved in some sort of toxic nonsense with his ex this may never happen. Until then assume you’ll be going it alone. Your DS is super young so this will have little/ no effect on him I would imagine. I agree normally it’s good to have a relationship with both parents but honestly sometimes it’s better just to keep out of it- and everything suggests this is the latter.

I'm not sure AIBU unreasonable is the best place for this question OP, you're just going to get a lot of 'cut off the bastard!' types responses and not a lot of thoughtful nuance or informed legal commentary. You do have my sympathies though, it sounds super hard. My advice would be you really can't be making a long term/permanent decision at this point, you just don't have enough information and you aren't really empowered by the system to make that decision on your son's behalf (whatever you believe morally, legally speaking in the UK neither parent has the right to unilaterally cut off the other parent from their child, even where there are allegations of abuse).

I think the best thing you can do, difficult as it is, is sit tight, currently your child's dad is not asking for contact so you can neither forbid or agree anyway, try and shield your son from this whole sorry mess as best you can (which includes taking care of yourself too as this must all be really stressful). Definitely do not bad mouth him to your son, if he asks about his Dad try and explain the bare minimum details in an age appropriate way and reassure your boy he's safe and loved. If and only if his dad turns back up and is consistently available for and in a state to have contact, which he may well not, as sounds as though he's totally enmeshed in this toxic issue with the ex, then take legal or social services advice and perhaps (if all agree this is safe) start off very very slowly with some indirect contact (cards, letters, presents etc). Take it one step at a time though and try not to drive yourself mad with thoughts of the future, most men like this when it comes to it do not make the sustained effort towards stability and responsibility that a court would require in order for them to have anything like a 'normal' parenting relationship which is a shame for the kids but at least means the children get to have something like normality with their mums.

I know this is hard and the instinct is to run away and hide yourself and your DS away but you'll only store up future problems by doing that IME, the last thing you want is some deadbeat dad turning back up in your son's life when he's a teenager or young adult full of love and indulgence and with a tale of woe of how the evil/crazy women ruined his life with lies and alienation. It will be hard but ultimately better for your DS if he understands that you never for a second tried to take him away from his father but only ever kept him safe, and if he gets used to the reality of who is dad is and what their relationship has to be like (i.e. a limited, protected one of course) from a young age so it's never a surprise.

This man has been a liar and a cheat from the start. I'd do nothing to proactively organise anything. If he wants contact, and social services have said he can have supervised contact, then if he arranges that, fine but otherwise, do nothing.

Oh no, don't have anything to do with him. I'd keep my child as far away from this mess as possible and if contact is enforced, make sure it's in a contact centre.

Nothing good is going to come of having this man in your or your child's life.
Just cut him off. And move on.

If he's not contacting you and you can't contact him then you don't need to do anything (other than put in a child maintenance claim if not already done so). Try not to stress about it - this is not your problem to solve, it's up to him to get in touch with you about contact with his child. In the mean time tell your SW you don't know where he is and currently have no contact with him and that you will inform them if this changes. Then just try and enjoy your baby and the Christmas period x

I wouldn’t do anything apart from a child maintenance claim. It’s not your problems to chase him for access, especially if his ex’s claims are true

Cut him off now while your child is young enough not to remember him. My ex is in prison for a long time and I wish my daughters didn't remember him, it would make life a whole lot easier for everyone.

At the moment he is AWOL to you. He hasn’t bothered to say what is going on. He has already cut contact. I wouldn’t be in a hurry to allow him to see my child if I was you.

I'd cut him off for now, it doesn't look like he can visit anyway. You can always change your mind if he's innocent.

Cut it off. Do not take any chances where child abuse allegations are concerned. Better to keep your child safe.

He has form for being a liar and a cheat so why would you believe what he says.