To think work Xmas parties should start in work hours?

YANBU. We don't do this for our christmas party but we do for our twice yearly team social. The event starts after lunch and then people who have far to travel or have childcare responsibilities leave at 5, while others stay as long as they like. It works really well as it means everyone comes and has a great time from 2-5pm, and only those who are interested/able to turn it into a heavier drinking session carries on.

Obviously it doesn't work in some jobs, like teachers, but for office jobs it works really well.

I work until 5pm and I still have deadlines until at least 4pm before I can safely leave my laptop unless someone else is covering me. So, no not everyone can run off at 3pm for a party.

Can you imagine shops closing early because the staff wants to be sociable?

For years I left the party after the dinner was over, maybe stayed for one more drink, I was home not later than 10.30-11pm depending where the venue was. Once in a blue moon that is perfectly possible.

@ByTidyHelper

im sure your husband can manage for one night OP! Get out and enjoy yourself! 😀🥂

Plus you haven't seen how bedtime goes down at the moment - we share our responsibilities in other ways as I'm doing most bedtimes right now and my husband doing this solo would certainly result in lots of screaming, crying and false starts just because of how our kids are right now. You know....because they are very young kids and they tend not to be super rational or reasonable with some of the things they throw tantrums about. That's kind of their thing. Sure my husband could do it without me but it would be an extremely stressful and chaotic evening for him until I got home most likely so pardon me for thinking of him!

OP, that’s a load of self-indulgent twaddle. They do this because you indulge them with it, do they know they can. While young kids are not rationale/reasonable it doesn’t mean you let them hold you to ransom with their behaviour.

DH and I shared parenting responsibilities (worked different days/shifts around each other so usually only ever one home while kids were awake). Sure, they always tried the ‘I want [insert name of parent not home because they were at work] to put them to bed/get them dressed in morning/clean teeth/take them to swimming lessons etc etc’. Sometimes they even tried to put in a fine display, simply to try and prove they had some power over what happens in their life presumably. No one quit work or if short staffed said they weren’t pulling a double at no notice, because needs must, because little Jimmy decided they want only mum/dad to clean their teeth as their flavour of the week. That’s utterly ridiculous. Little Jimmy is told in no uncertain terms they get who they get and their fuss will make no difference and trying to hold parents hostage via that behaviour won’t be tolerated let alone get you exactly what you want as a perverse reward.

Work hours are for work. Christmas do is recreation (as long as attendance isn’t mandatory)

YABU to want your employer to organise itself differently because your husband can’t put his own children to bed without it being “extremely chaotic and stressful.”

It’s one night, they are his kids. I’m sure he can rise to that challenge.

Christ, the bar is low for some men.

We're not allowed to use paid work time (public sector) however we usually negotiate by using time owed and arranging another team to cover any emergencies and we cover theirs in return. That way we can go for a meal at 4. No drinking allowed until official finish just in case anyone needed to go back to work.
Majority of people in my workplace are women, we also have a lot of single parents and non drinkers so it works well to have something low key that everyone can join, and the chance for those who want to, to continue afterwards for drinks.

Ours is a Friday night from 8pm as we don't finish until 6
Not everyone goes

Ours starts at 3 and is dead by 6.30 as everyone has to leave for their trains (also London but no-one lives locally).

Ours does. Starts at 3 (we're allowed to finish at 1 to get ready/there). I could be home in bed by 7. Lovely!

It's one night! I am sure he can manage.

Honestly go enjoy you sound in the trenches. I always kept the one night out with my mates every week to stay happy and in a good place.

I highly recommend it.

My Christmas party is this Friday at 12pm so during work hours only issue is I'm unsure how we're all meant to get ready and get to the location for 12 and still work but surely it will be quiet enough!

You can never do something to suit everyone. In my job up till last year (Ward Midwife) Absolutely can't be starting within work times and people always miss going altogether and people always have to come late as they were on shift. In my current role (Community midwife) It has to start after shift finishes to allow people to get ready and make their way.

Childcare wise with me, starting later works out better as I can sort kids and my husband gets home to look after them.

I am having 2 this year, Community one started at 7 and the ward based one starts at 9. However these are organised by us and not the actual hospital. The 7 one was actually more difficult for me to sort with my husbands work.

I don't think it sounds ridiculous, it is (hopefully) a very specific time in children's lives where they are like this but it is exhausting. I think it is quite unusual to start early evening so I agree with you. That way people can choose, they stay, I had one where after the meal it was back to the office for a disco with colleagues who were DJs, those who stayed for that were mainly young and no children or past the young children stage!

Sure my husband could do it without me but it would be an extremely stressful and chaotic evening for him until I got home

And.....? Again, I reiterate my earlier point. It's one night a year. Is it really that big a deal that he has to manage a stressful bedtime and the kids don't get to sleep early enough?

Our office Xmas party for everyone starts about 4.30pm. We also have a team lunch which starts at 2pm. I usually pop back to office to check emails and leave early...

Yeah this.

Where I work it's a normal working day until 4-5pm and then we head out afterwards. Not everywhere can just shut up shop at midday so you can get home to put your kids to bed 🙄

I only know 1 team this year doing a just evening thing, the rest of us finish c12:30, go for a big lunch then drinks afterwards until who knows what time. Same very year.

Well just don't go. Don't expect everyone else to have to change due to your personal issues

Well seeing as teachers supposedly work much longer hours than the 3pm school finishing then it's easy enough to start party once kids have left

Our company does 2 parties. The first is a department lunch which is in work hours and you can go home afterwards. Then there’s a whole company dinner do which is always on a Saturday night, although there’s around 500 of us, I don’t really enjoy this as it’s too busy and chaotic so not bothering to go this year.

cannot be bothered to get back home late and have to figure out what we do with my kids bedtime etc (they are in a phase of meltdown mode unless mummy is putting them to bed so would be tough on my husband to have to deal with this solo).

This is ridiculous!

Yeah I agree just let your husband deal with it. The best way for the dc to get used to Daddy putting them to bed is lots of practise.

and have to figure out what we do with my kids bedtime etc

What's there to figure out? They get tired, DH puts them to bed? If they cry and won't settle then oh well. It's one night in a year FFS!