To think work Xmas parties should start in work hours?

My work Xmas party starts at 3pm and will go on til late. It works well and more people have attended at least part of it since they’ve done it this way. It used to be from 7pm and lots of people didn’t attend.

We have a Xmas party during working time, usually lunch through till normal finish time
People I work with want something low budget so we do a craft activity (which I pay for) eg wreath making, Jacob’s join for food and end up with games or a quiz which I provide prizes for

I’m sure he would, but she’s said it’ll be very stressful with how her children are at the moment. One of my children went through a few months of only being able to be put to bed by me without it being a complete nightmare. They also had a while when my partner was ‘the chosen one’. We just went with it, made sure we were there and it stopped eventually. I wouldn’t have wanted my child being so distressed and wouldn’t have gone out at bed time for something that wasn’t an emergency during that time. I’ve known lots of parents who just make a few changes for the short time needed including missing a night out. It’s usually not for long.

Do you have children and if so, have you had times when they’re really distressed at bed time @LuckySantangelo35. It can have a terrible knock on effect to the next day and longer if they don’t sleep well and then everyone is miserable.

Dear OP I totally understand where you are coming from. I have three kids and when they were young my now exh and I worked opposite shifts to avoid having to pay for childcare we could not afford. So, whenever there was a Christmas party, or any other after work social event, it would be mostly at night and I would never go. However, to be honest with you, evening party is very different from day party and I prefer the former. It is more fun, relaxed, people would enjoy themselves more. I do not see myself having fun at 12PM. It is just not the same thing.

However, if I were you I would talk to the organizer and see if they can change it for the next time, so you too can join.

This. If you don't want to go because you're too tired due to kids waking up all night that's completely understandable but just own it and don't expect your company to change their plans. Suggesting your kids can't be put to bed for one night of the year by your husband is ridiculous. We have people at our office that also complain out of hours Christmas parties aren't inclusive to mothers and as a mother of young kids myself my response is always 'tell your husband to step up' or 'get a babysitter'. Most of the time people just don't want to attend but instead of owning that they try to make it seem as if everyone else is unreasonable for suggesting an out of hours event once or twice a year.

I think there should be 2, one a civil brunch (alcohol free) in work time and another out of work which is voluntary.

I don't think anyone should be pressured or expected to attend any evening do as people have responsibilities / different budgets / commutes which means out of work socials are not always accessible.

Personally I won't attend any evening work do- I'd rather spend time with my family / at my hobby etc

Mine is on a SATURDAY NIGHT, the same day I am hosting my child’s birthday party and extended family staying in my home. And it’s in the middle of fucking nowhere so I am DRIVING there and back in the shitty freezing weather on my own.

Its a very small team so my absence will be noted if I don’t attend… but I don’t want to go!!!

My current plan is to go for the meal and leave not long after… but it would be good not to go at all…

Yabu, if it was in office hours I would be under pressure to get my tasks done and arrive frazzled. There are swings and roundabouts to it buts it's optional so if its problematic then you don't have to go

Does your DH have a work Christmas party?

A suggestion you could both take a night off and catch up on sleep.

For your respective parties book a room in a hotel and have a night off. Get changed before your party go enjoy rhe meal and maybe a glass or two of wine (if you drink alcohol). When your ready go back to your Hotel have a relaxing bath and sleep.
It will do you the world of good before the onset of proper Christmas.

Your husband could do the same at his work party, relax, be adult, be sociable and a decent night's sleep.

Merry Christmas

The early close before Christmas is so staff can de-Christmas the building before they go home.

It's weird ripping down decorations before Christmas has even happened.

The party happens the weekend before.

Out primary has announced they are closing at 13.30 on the last Friday before Xmas.im assuming it's for an Xmas party and am all in favour! Assembly might be pushing it tho..

I work in a school. I feel the parents may not approve if we crack open the prosecco in assembly.

This is exactly it. OP is saying she won't go on her Christmas Do as she's being considerate of her poor husband having to deal with a stressful bedtime routine one night of the year?! My DP would be ushering me out of the door and telling me not to worry and have a good time! Oh and as for being sleep deprived the next day, surely he can get up early with the kids and take them out for a bit so she can have a lie-in?!

It would be nice if there was some part of the event organised for during work hours, because regardless of people's home lives you know they can make it during office hours when they are normally working, whereas many people will have caring responsibilities and things like that outside of work time that they can't necessarily rearrange for a night out.

You don't have to go, and your DH should be able to manage his own children for one evening. You don't have to always need to "think of him" to the extent that it curtails your own life. If he thought of you to that extend the current bedtime predicament wouldn't have arisen.

I agree wholeheartedly with this!
my kids are teenagers now so no longer need me to put them to bed....I want to go out out!!!

Do you never go out at night then OP? About time your DH learnt how to put his kids to bed.

You can never please everyone.

DH's Christmas do is a 'proper' works party - £1000s put behind the bar, food provided, everyone pissed. Except for the shifts that are working that night which unfortunately has been DH for the past 8 years. Annoying but just one of those things.

As for not going because it's your kid's bedtime... I'd be sorting that out asap 🙄

Ours starts in the pub at midday (afternoon off work booked to project work) and continue till last man standing. I used to love it in my youth but I tend to be home in bed by 8PM these days 😪

That last line may be true.

We don't have nearly as many after work events or social gatherings as we did before Covid. It's like people have discovered not going out is quite nice and saves a lot of money.

I WFH on a Friday, so I'm hardly going to trapes into my city centre for a couple of hours of after works drinks which is when a majority of these things happen.

Our Works Christmas do's have died a death as well. No meals as such just a buffet which isn't festive, it is paid for and starts mid afternoon, and if you don't attend you have to book the afternoon off as leave.

Invariably there is a mass exodus at 5pm from wherever it is as that's official finishing tome. Last year the drinks were so expensive in the place we had it, there was a handful of people left at 6pm from a department of 100 people.

From what I can tell, office parties are far from raucous any more as someone will have a beady eye out for misbehaviour to report.

I honestly don't think there would be a single complaint if ours got cancelled, and that's with it being paid for as well.

Very true, if the majority want it to be an evening do then those who cannot make it can ask for next year to be a day do.

FWIW I've been to some and not others and I've no idea who wanted the ball in a town 200 miles away from most of the employees, but they got their ball and we got to not go. The most crazy of all is this years Christmas do is being held in January? Now that is mind boggling. I understand why but then to my mind, just dont bother.

I used to work somewhere where had summer and Christmas socials that would start at lunchtime by going into central London and you could stay out after but the actual party would be in the afternoon. It was carnage though as most people were shitfaced by 6pm! I only worked mornings though as was part time sham so it still didn’t come out of my working hours 😂. Luckily DH would take the afternoon off.

Any Christmas parties that have started out during the working day have been boring and fizzled out early as everyone is still in “work mode”

The decent, memorable ones are where it is an actual event completely separate to the work day and office

Lots of office hours in London are until 6pm anyway.

An hour's commute is nothing.

Inconvenient for you this year OP, but the whole working population can't be expected to work around one set of kids going through a particular phase.

Lockdown and WFH has turned people into hermits.