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Original poster

Friend not sharing discount?

216 replies

KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 09:56

I admit this is a very first world problem, but it’s been bothering me a bit so just thought I’d ask what others think.

I recently came back from mat leave, DD starts nursery in a couple weeks and of course it’s Christmas so money for me is tight and has been for a while.

A friend and me decided we would go to the cinema next week, this is a rare treat for me and I haven’t been to the cinema in several years, it’s not the cheapest experience anymore so I was already planning on forgoing popcorn and drinks to keep the cost down. My friend is aware of my situation, we also work together so she knows about mat leave and how our company only offers statuary, and I’ve been lamenting to her about the cost of nursery fees and how the family is only doing gifts for the kids this year.

Anyway, we’ve settled on a date and time, it’s a popular film so we decided to book together (otherwise we may not get seats together) I suggested to her my husband books the tickets as he gets a 40% discount for friends and family through work, but I mentioned it had been years since he last booked so I will double check with him first if he still gets this discount, she agreed.

Next day rolls around and I forgot to ask husband (turns out yes he does still get the discount), but then friend said don’t worry about it as she’s got a free cinema ticket (from a reward scheme tied to her bank or something) so she’ll take care of booking the tickets. I thanked her and said she should ping me a request for the money and I’ll pay her back.

Well last night I got her text, there was a copy of both our tickets and a money request for one full price ticket for me to pay. I had assumed she was going to share the saving of her free ticket so we’d both pay half price, instead she kept the free ticket for herself and stuck me with paying full price, even though I told her my husband could get us both a good discount.

I haven’t said anything because I imagine she just didn’t think it through and there’s no point falling out over cinema tickets, but I’m still annoyed about it. Obviously I know I’m
not entitled to her free ticket, but she could have saved it for another time instead of denying me my husbands discount?

OP posts:
Nolegusta · 04/12/2024 10:38

KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 10:36

Because I was going to subsidise us both with my husbands discount? I didn’t have to of course, but it was a nice thing to do. But I ended up having to pay full price when I didn’t have to.

I totally get if she wants to use her free ticket, but I’d rather she just told me to take care of my own ticket instead of telling me she’s take care of both tickets as she’s got a discount, it gave me the impression she’d split the cost.

Show quote history

It's cheaper for her to get a free ticket than a 40% discount though.
If you're that bothered tell her to cancel the full price ticket and actually get your 40% discount organised.

BrakesOn · 04/12/2024 10:37

Presumably hers was only free because it was booked with one full price ticket? She wouldn't have got it free if she just booked one seat.

So therefore the cost should be shared.

Original poster
KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 10:36

Nolegusta · 04/12/2024 10:32

I'm not sure why you think she should be subsidising you tbh.

Because I was going to subsidise us both with my husbands discount? I didn’t have to of course, but it was a nice thing to do. But I ended up having to pay full price when I didn’t have to.

I totally get if she wants to use her free ticket, but I’d rather she just told me to take care of my own ticket instead of telling me she’s take care of both tickets as she’s got a discount, it gave me the impression she’d split the cost.

OP posts:
Floofboopsnootandbork · 04/12/2024 10:34

I pay £7 a month for one of the Monzo perk plans that recently started to give a free Vue cinema ticket. We haven’t yet managed to make it the cinema but it wouldn’t even occur to me to expect the person I’m with to pay full price while I paid nothing, I’d split the cost between us. YANBU.

iirc I also get £ off food too, I’d also share that discount!

RedVelvetIcing · 04/12/2024 10:34

£10 still sounds like a cheap trip out to me. I wouldn’t let it spoil your day or friendship over you missing out on a couple of pound saving.

HTruffle · 04/12/2024 10:34

I think this tells you a lot about her character and how she’d rather risk a friendship than spend a few £. It’d really annoy me.

Original poster
KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 10:33

LittleRedRidingHoody · 04/12/2024 10:06

Also, it's not necessarily 'free', because she's paid for whatever service. I pay for Monzo Perks (£7 a month I think) mainly because I get a free cinema ticket out of it, otherwise I'd probably cancel. So yes, it's free to claim but she's 'paid for it' already so to speak.

This did occur to me, so when she said not to worry and she’ll book for us I asked her if she was sure, even thanked her (so not sure what she thought was going on there).

The reward wasn’t going anywhere though, she goes out far more often that I do so she could have used it another time, or just not told me about it? I understand wanting to keep your discounts to yourself but it’s weird to bring it up in a group setting implying it benefits the group?

OP posts:
TheGoogleMum · 04/12/2024 10:33

Yeah i think I'd have been tempted to ask her straight if she wants me to pay full amount or half so at least it's bringing attention to it! If she says full id maybe then say oh I'd have better getting the 40% off then how frustrating

Trickedbyadoughnut · 04/12/2024 10:32

I think I'd message back and say, do you think we could split some of the discount as things are a bit tight here and I was banking on getting at least 40 per cent off with my husband's discount?

She may have just been a bit thoughtless and I'd prefer to say something than just let it rankle with me.

Nolegusta · 04/12/2024 10:32

I'm not sure why you think she should be subsidising you tbh.

Original poster
KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 10:30

DreamyDreamy · 04/12/2024 10:23

« Hi friend, are you offering to share your discount, ie we pay 50% of the full price ticket each? No worries if not of course as I still have the option of buying my ticket via DH to get 40% off. Let me know! »

Yes I probably should have done this. I felt awkward though because she just sent me a Monzo request for the money, so I couldn’t put in a different amount, only ignore it and have the awkward conversation instead. Blame me for hating confrontation I guess.

OP posts:
LittleGreenDragons · 04/12/2024 10:29

Wow what a mean and selfish "friend". It wouldn't cross my mind not to share a discount.

Original poster
KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 10:28

RedVelvetIcing · 04/12/2024 10:26

She’s took the selfish move to pay £0 instead of paying towards the 40% saving but maybe money is as tight for her as it is you.

Is a cinema ticket really that much? We go to Vue and pay £4.99-£5.99.

It’s over £10 here, not a crazy amount but I guess it’s more the principles of it? It’s certainly made me wary of letting her book things for us in the future.

OP posts:
RedVelvetIcing · 04/12/2024 10:26

She’s took the selfish move to pay £0 instead of paying towards the 40% saving but maybe money is as tight for her as it is you.

Is a cinema ticket really that much? We go to Vue and pay £4.99-£5.99.

DreamyDreamy · 04/12/2024 10:23

« Hi friend, are you offering to share your discount, ie we pay 50% of the full price ticket each? No worries if not of course as I still have the option of buying my ticket via DH to get 40% off. Let me know! »

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 10:21

That's so stingy and she's your friend! I wouldn't and didn't even ask for the ticket money from DS's friends as seems petty over £8 let alone my own friend (I get the 40 discount from work benefits)!

StrawberrySquash · 04/12/2024 10:21

I don't understand why she didn't book her own free ticket and tell you to book your own at 60% cost? Or was one of the offers only if you booked a pair?

B1anche · 04/12/2024 10:19

I think it is really mean of her. I would be tempted to book a separate ticket (with discount) for a seat next to one of the seats she has booked, and tell her you hadn't budgetted for a full price ticket. You didn't ask her to book so she can't complain.

I'm amazed at the number of responses from people who would keep the full discount for themselves. I would never do that to a friend.

DeliciousApples · 04/12/2024 10:17

I'd give her half the price of the both tickets. "There's my half thanks so much and apologies again I forgot to ask DH to book"

If she says anything is just say
"surely we half in? That's what I'd have done if husband got a discount, I'd not have kept it to myself I'd have halfed the price between us. You know I'm skint".

Viviennemary · 04/12/2024 10:11

That was quite cheeky of her. I wouldnt go and write off the cost of the ticket and drop the friendship. I can't be doing with this selfish meanness in folk that are supposed to be friends.

Original poster
KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 10:11

NantesElephant · 04/12/2024 10:06

Isn’t this just basic decency?

Show quote history

This is certainly what I think yes, and it’s how I use my discounts on group outings, for example I offered to share husbands discount with her when I could have kept it to myself.

Not everyone agrees though, that’s why I posted here though to see what others thought.

I think people are getting a bit hung up on the timing thing. We’re seeing the film in the morning on a smaller screen, it’s not a popular time so we had plenty of time to book, but there is always a risk if you try to book separately you may not be able to select seats right next to each other. There was never a risk it would sell out and we’d miss out, not many people see films first thing in the morning (the later showing on the bigger screen is the one that’s selling out fast)

OP posts:
whatnow5 · 04/12/2024 10:10

Nope, this is just plain mean. I would mention it to her and just said “oh you shouldn’t have bothered booking. I would rather have used DH’s discount to get 40% off, rather than paying full price.”

She would have been benefitting from 40% off as well if you had booked, so it’s mean to take a 100% discount and give you 0%.

getahhtmapub · 04/12/2024 10:08

LittleRedRidingHoody · 04/12/2024 10:06

Also, it's not necessarily 'free', because she's paid for whatever service. I pay for Monzo Perks (£7 a month I think) mainly because I get a free cinema ticket out of it, otherwise I'd probably cancel. So yes, it's free to claim but she's 'paid for it' already so to speak.

Exactly this.

Thisisntthowisawthisgoing · 04/12/2024 10:08

HadEnoughOfBears · 04/12/2024 10:02

Yeah if that had been me I would have used the voucher to get a free ticket then split the cost of the other ticket.
Judging by the first reply though not everyone thinks like this 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yeah I don't think it would have occurred to me to do this any other way and like the OP I'd have been left feeling surprised to be paying full price rather than a 40% discount from the husband or 50% from the friend!

I'm not sure I'd do this but you could go back and suggest you split the ticket 60:40 as you were going to pay 60% anyway? I'd probably just put up though and add it to the long list of things I'm now overly controlling over because of a bad experience in the past.

Onthesideofthespiders · 04/12/2024 10:08

If you really can’t afford the £10 for a cinema ticket then just reply and say you had been planning to use your husband’s discount and only have the budget to pay for 60% of your ticket price so does she want to split the ticket cost or cancel her ticket so you can book your own?

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