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Original poster

Friend not sharing discount?

216 replies

KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 09:56

I admit this is a very first world problem, but it’s been bothering me a bit so just thought I’d ask what others think.

I recently came back from mat leave, DD starts nursery in a couple weeks and of course it’s Christmas so money for me is tight and has been for a while.

A friend and me decided we would go to the cinema next week, this is a rare treat for me and I haven’t been to the cinema in several years, it’s not the cheapest experience anymore so I was already planning on forgoing popcorn and drinks to keep the cost down. My friend is aware of my situation, we also work together so she knows about mat leave and how our company only offers statuary, and I’ve been lamenting to her about the cost of nursery fees and how the family is only doing gifts for the kids this year.

Anyway, we’ve settled on a date and time, it’s a popular film so we decided to book together (otherwise we may not get seats together) I suggested to her my husband books the tickets as he gets a 40% discount for friends and family through work, but I mentioned it had been years since he last booked so I will double check with him first if he still gets this discount, she agreed.

Next day rolls around and I forgot to ask husband (turns out yes he does still get the discount), but then friend said don’t worry about it as she’s got a free cinema ticket (from a reward scheme tied to her bank or something) so she’ll take care of booking the tickets. I thanked her and said she should ping me a request for the money and I’ll pay her back.

Well last night I got her text, there was a copy of both our tickets and a money request for one full price ticket for me to pay. I had assumed she was going to share the saving of her free ticket so we’d both pay half price, instead she kept the free ticket for herself and stuck me with paying full price, even though I told her my husband could get us both a good discount.

I haven’t said anything because I imagine she just didn’t think it through and there’s no point falling out over cinema tickets, but I’m still annoyed about it. Obviously I know I’m
not entitled to her free ticket, but she could have saved it for another time instead of denying me my husbands discount?

OP posts:
Dietingfool · 04/12/2024 11:03

I suspect this is thoughtlessness rather than anything else. Often people who aren’t struggling hard financially don’t really comprehend how 4 pounds can make such a big difference to someone. She likely didn’t think as it was a small amount, not realising it was very significant to you. Yes she knew money was tight, but maybe didn’t realise just how tight it was.

Vaxtable · 04/12/2024 11:00

I would go back and say that you are a bit unhappy at paying full price and she gets it free when you could have got some money off using your husbands discount card ask her to get the ticket refunded and buy your own, even if it means sitting apart

Cuttysark4321 · 04/12/2024 11:00

Thoughtless, but perhaps not a dealbreaker. She's possibly having money struggles you don't even know about.

BuzzieLittleBee · 04/12/2024 10:57

I went to the cinema with my friend and her mum yesterday. Her mum had 2 free tix from her Lloyds bank account. It didn't occur to me to do anything other than transfer the full cost of my ticket to my friend (who booked all 3).

I guess your scenario is slightly different in that you had access to a discount yourself. But if I was in your friend's shoes, I'd probably still rather use my freebie than have 40% off using your discount. Lots of these bank/insurance perks are time sensitive, so her freebie may have been running out soon.

Jostuki · 04/12/2024 10:57

'I haven’t said anything'

Well that's your problem!

'Oh Sally, when you said you got one free ticket I though you meant we would split the cost of the other ticket!'

Why can't you say that?

Balloonhearts · 04/12/2024 10:56

I don't think you can really say anything tbh. I'd have shared the savings personally but if she doesn't want to you can't really argue it.

Powerofflower · 04/12/2024 10:56

It’s her discount but I think she behaved selfishly if you would share yours. But you forgot so maybe she thought you did it on purpose. I get a discount for several places and always divide the cost when booking with friends it doesn’t worry me.

whatnow5 · 04/12/2024 10:54

Nolegusta · 04/12/2024 10:38

It's cheaper for her to get a free ticket than a 40% discount though.
If you're that bothered tell her to cancel the full price ticket and actually get your 40% discount organised.

Show quote history

Are you this stingy in real life or just contrary online for the sake of it?

BarbaraHoward · 04/12/2024 10:54

Technically it's her discount and she's of course fully entitled to keep it for herself.

But it's mean, I like to think I'd never be so ungenerous to a friend. Especially if I knew funds were tight.

Beamur · 04/12/2024 10:54

Given the added backstory of you offering to get her a discounted ticket, I would have assumed the same as you OP and that she would split the cost with you. I think it's pretty mean that she didn't.

FluDog · 04/12/2024 10:54

I'd have split the cost of the full price ticket.

wheretoyougonow · 04/12/2024 10:53

You don't do this to someone you regard a friend.

We had someone do this a few times and no longer invite them out. It got a bit wearing that she was always only looking after her own interests. I have always shared any discounts/freebies and split the cost. I was taught to share from an early age 😁.

LifeEdit · 04/12/2024 10:52

She sounds mean of spirit.

If you could afford it, book another film using your husband's discount and ask her for the full price for hers.
If there was any lip pulling over that, I'd drop her. mean of money usually means mean of spirit too.

Those on this thread who agree with her are probably tight and ungenerous too. No decent person would do as she has done and no decent person would agree with her.

That's the fact of it and any me-mowing to the contrary is simply self justification from others of her ilk.

Whatsitreallylike · 04/12/2024 10:52

Yea that’s not on. I’d reply and remind her that you can get discounted tickets through your DH. Ask her to cancel your full price ticket and you’ll book your own ticket at the reduced price.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 04/12/2024 10:50

YANBU. Very disappointing behaviour from a friend.

Original poster
KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 10:50

mondaytosunday · 04/12/2024 10:48

Except you are asking her to pay for half your ticket. Her ticket was free, so she didn't pay anything. Why should she then pay half of yours? You should have said that you would buy your own ticket with your husband's discount. If the cinema is half empty there would be no problem booking seats together even if bought separately. She didn't think it through (that if she bought your ticket you'd pay full price), but then neither did you.

I guess it was a breakdown in communication here, she agreed to my husband buying the tickets but then later told me about the freebie and said she would book for both of us - why offer to do that if she intended for me to pay full price? She could have just said to me book my own ticket and she’s using her free one, but the way the conversation went she implied her freebie would benefit us both and no need to involve my husband.

OP posts:
Commonsense22 · 04/12/2024 10:48

Yes that is rubbish. I'd say something as you won't enjoy the experience now.

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 10:48

mumoftwo1981 · 04/12/2024 10:45

To those comparing her free ticket with your husbands discount, it's not the same thing. She gets one free ticket, he is entitled to a discount on both. So if she went half on your ticket now she's paying money which she wouldn't have had to if she'd gone on her own. It's not the same as you giving her 40% off hers as you wouldn't be entitled to 80% off yours if she wasn't there. Hopefully that makes sense!!

But.... you shouldn't have to pay more now than you would if you'd gone on your own. She's thought it's best for her to use her free ticket as she goes free, regardless of the fact that you're now spending nearly double.

So I would go back and say I appreciate you get your ticket free this way, but I'm paying double for mine so please cancel my ticket and I'll book my own.

I think everyone understands that, it is the principle of being a 'friend' is what is up for debate!

Equally, can the OP's friend get the free ticket without someone paying full price? If not it's very brazen indeed!

mondaytosunday · 04/12/2024 10:48

Except you are asking her to pay for half your ticket. Her ticket was free, so she didn't pay anything. Why should she then pay half of yours? You should have said that you would buy your own ticket with your husband's discount. If the cinema is half empty there would be no problem booking seats together even if bought separately. She didn't think it through (that if she bought your ticket you'd pay full price), but then neither did you.

50hereIcome · 04/12/2024 10:47

I seem to be the only one thinking about 🍿

If you go, takeyour own, you don’t need to buy it on site or go without.

mumoftwo1981 · 04/12/2024 10:45

To those comparing her free ticket with your husbands discount, it's not the same thing. She gets one free ticket, he is entitled to a discount on both. So if she went half on your ticket now she's paying money which she wouldn't have had to if she'd gone on her own. It's not the same as you giving her 40% off hers as you wouldn't be entitled to 80% off yours if she wasn't there. Hopefully that makes sense!!

But.... you shouldn't have to pay more now than you would if you'd gone on your own. She's thought it's best for her to use her free ticket as she goes free, regardless of the fact that you're now spending nearly double.

So I would go back and say I appreciate you get your ticket free this way, but I'm paying double for mine so please cancel my ticket and I'll book my own.

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 10:45

Nolegusta · 04/12/2024 10:38

It's cheaper for her to get a free ticket than a 40% discount though.
If you're that bothered tell her to cancel the full price ticket and actually get your 40% discount organised.

Show quote history

The fact is, she should be bothered, she should be bothered that comes across as a tight, unfriendly, friend!

Original poster
KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 10:43

Nolegusta · 04/12/2024 10:38

It's cheaper for her to get a free ticket than a 40% discount though.
If you're that bothered tell her to cancel the full price ticket and actually get your 40% discount organised.

Show quote history

A lot of faff over like a £1 difference for her.

We’ve both paid, I’m not going to do anything else at this point, I’m just going to make a mental note to book my own when seeing her in the future

OP posts:
Bumblebeestiltskin · 04/12/2024 10:43

KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 10:02

We still had time, they didn’t need to be booked that day. It’s been 3 days since and the cinema is still mostly empty (it’s a popular film but an unpopular time)

Show quote history

Why not ask her why she's expecting you to pay for the full price ticket when she knows you could get a discount? Ask her to get a refund and get your husband to get you a discounted one. It does seem a bit odd that she'd do that.

Eddielizzard · 04/12/2024 10:40

Wow I think that's off. She should split the discount esp as she knew you didn't need to pay full price. Why expect you to? I wonder if she can cancel her paid ticket and you book yours at the discount?

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