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Original poster

Friend not sharing discount?

216 replies

KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 09:56

I admit this is a very first world problem, but it’s been bothering me a bit so just thought I’d ask what others think.

I recently came back from mat leave, DD starts nursery in a couple weeks and of course it’s Christmas so money for me is tight and has been for a while.

A friend and me decided we would go to the cinema next week, this is a rare treat for me and I haven’t been to the cinema in several years, it’s not the cheapest experience anymore so I was already planning on forgoing popcorn and drinks to keep the cost down. My friend is aware of my situation, we also work together so she knows about mat leave and how our company only offers statuary, and I’ve been lamenting to her about the cost of nursery fees and how the family is only doing gifts for the kids this year.

Anyway, we’ve settled on a date and time, it’s a popular film so we decided to book together (otherwise we may not get seats together) I suggested to her my husband books the tickets as he gets a 40% discount for friends and family through work, but I mentioned it had been years since he last booked so I will double check with him first if he still gets this discount, she agreed.

Next day rolls around and I forgot to ask husband (turns out yes he does still get the discount), but then friend said don’t worry about it as she’s got a free cinema ticket (from a reward scheme tied to her bank or something) so she’ll take care of booking the tickets. I thanked her and said she should ping me a request for the money and I’ll pay her back.

Well last night I got her text, there was a copy of both our tickets and a money request for one full price ticket for me to pay. I had assumed she was going to share the saving of her free ticket so we’d both pay half price, instead she kept the free ticket for herself and stuck me with paying full price, even though I told her my husband could get us both a good discount.

I haven’t said anything because I imagine she just didn’t think it through and there’s no point falling out over cinema tickets, but I’m still annoyed about it. Obviously I know I’m
not entitled to her free ticket, but she could have saved it for another time instead of denying me my husbands discount?

OP posts:
MMUmum · 05/12/2024 19:07

Around my birthday I get birthday discounts from.a few restaurants, I always invite friends and share the discount by splitting the bill evenly, bit mean not to imo 🫤

sunshine244 · 05/12/2024 08:12

I get free cinema tickets with my bank - 1 per month with no need to buy a full priced ticket.

But that's because I pay for a premium account (mainly for the travel insurance).

Dawevi · 04/12/2024 18:44

KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 10:50

I guess it was a breakdown in communication here, she agreed to my husband buying the tickets but then later told me about the freebie and said she would book for both of us - why offer to do that if she intended for me to pay full price? She could have just said to me book my own ticket and she’s using her free one, but the way the conversation went she implied her freebie would benefit us both and no need to involve my husband.

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I would message her a variation of this and see what she says. I think she's been really stingy!

colesr · 04/12/2024 17:31

@devongirl12

The friend wouldn't have got her ticket free without buying a full price one.

I don't think that's the case, OP said...

She could have just said to me book my own ticket and she’s using her free one,

CC222 · 04/12/2024 15:38

That's very cheeky of her, because she's only got a free ticket because one ticket has to be paid in full so really you should be splitting the cost, as she shouldn't benefit alone on this.
On a side note, you can bring your own snacks in so why not treat yourself to cheaper snacks from a shop, and definitely don't share them with her if she doesn't agree to split the cost of the tickets. And moving forward don't make plans with her like this again, or just ensure you are the one booking and delegating the cost share...

Funnywonder · 04/12/2024 15:36

No matter what led to the friend ending up with a free ticket, I think it’s incredibly mean of her not to split the cost. I wouldn’t dream of doing this. But unfortunately I know plenty of people who would!

devongirl12 · 04/12/2024 15:28

HerSisterWasAWitch · 04/12/2024 09:59

But she couldn’t get you both the offer, meaning she would be subsiding your ticket. Your DH could have got you both a discount, which was nice of you to offer, but you forgot.

No, that's bullshit,

The friend wouldn't have got her ticket free without buying a full price one.

Of course they should both pay half price.

WaltzingWaters · 04/12/2024 14:52

It was really strange for her to not say “I have a free ticket, would you like to go ahead and book your own with the discount or do you want me to book for us both?”.

I’d reply saying as money is tight you can only afford it with the discount, so please cancel my ticket and I’ll go ahead and book with my DH’s discount. (I know she probably can’t actually cancel it, but it brings up the conversation).

If you hadn’t mentioned the discount it would be fine for her not to share the discount, but given the circumstances it’s really off of her.

ClicketyClickPlusOne · 04/12/2024 14:33

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 14:21

Well exactly, it is not that much and yet the friend would rather keep all savings for herself when her friend has explained she is on a tight budget!

My poor grammar resulted in my point about shame being missed. I meant the friend has no shame in going ahead with this plan. The OP should not have to outline her exact position as if it was a contractual deal with a client, she's her friend!

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Aha!
I do agree with you.
I would have shared the benefit of the freebie.

But was referencing a previous post of the OP where she says she would have shared the benefit of the 0% discount -which isn't quite the same thing.

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 14:21

ClicketyClickPlusOne · 04/12/2024 14:09

No more or less than a whole thread about £5 and the rights and wrongs of the free ticket etc - not sure which bit is especially shameful?

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Well exactly, it is not that much and yet the friend would rather keep all savings for herself when her friend has explained she is on a tight budget!

My poor grammar resulted in my point about shame being missed. I meant the friend has no shame in going ahead with this plan. The OP should not have to outline her exact position as if it was a contractual deal with a client, she's her friend!

CharlotteLucas3 · 04/12/2024 14:19

I think it's basic decency too. I'd have been too embarrassed to ask you to pay the full price. No point having a free ticket but losing a friend.

RadFs · 04/12/2024 14:14

Hi

I smell she’s getting the free ticket by buying a full price ticket but then getting you to pay for it so she can get It free. Thats how it normally works anyway.

ClicketyClickPlusOne · 04/12/2024 14:09

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 13:59

My goodness, some people have no shame, really? You think all this is necessary to say.

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No more or less than a whole thread about £5 and the rights and wrongs of the free ticket etc - not sure which bit is especially shameful?

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 13:59

ClicketyClickPlusOne · 04/12/2024 13:52

You getting40% off for both of you involved no detriment to you- you would have got 40% off, so would she - as I understand it.

Her sharing her free ticket with you would be to her detriment (though a nice thing to do)

When she said she would book and use her free ticket you could still have said 'OK - but we can still get 40% off on the other ticket'- which would have benefitted either you or both whichever way she was choosing to use her freebie.

Put it down to you forgetting to check the 40%, you not thinking quickly enough when she phoned, and also her being a bit mean to use her freebie just for her.

Learn from all that.

Then, most of all, let it go. Look forward to the film, enjoy seeing your friend.

My goodness, some people have no shame, really? You think all this is necessary to say.

HappyTwo · 04/12/2024 13:58

this bit here.....
where the next day your friend said don't worry about asking husband as I have a free ticket. if she hadn't of said that you would have asked hubby before ticket purchase,

"Next day rolls around and I forgot to ask husband (turns out yes he does still get the discount), but then friend said don’t worry about it as she’s got a free cinema ticket (from a reward scheme tied to her bank or something) so she’ll take care of booking the tickets."

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 13:55

Nina1013 · 04/12/2024 13:47

I disagree. Friend was going to pay 60% of the cost for the privilege of sitting together, but OP didn’t bother to book the tickets.

Honestly, I split restaurant bills 50/50 irrespective of what I’ve had, as a couple we pay for far above and beyond our own share of anything with family etc as we have more money, we are really generous. But I truly wouldn’t even consider it unreasonable to pay for my own ticket with my ‘free ticket’ and expect that my friend would cover the cost of my own. As in, it wouldn’t even occur to me to do it any other way. And I say that as someone who probably on average covers 75% of overall costs of everything I do with friends or family, so I am definitely not tight. The voucher is ‘my ticket’ and the friend buys their ticket. That’s the way I would see it.

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Well you perception of stinginess maybe different to mine as I would not go ahead and book a full price ticket for my 'friend' and a free one for me knowing a) that money is tight for my friend as on ML and she has told me so B) that she explicitly said she will ask her husband for the discount (further highlighting her need for the savings) c) thinking this all fine without checking when there was no risk to not getting tickets as we are attending an unpopular morning viewing.

Basically, completely tight friend who is either thoughtless or mean with an outcome that is negative for her friend and overshadows the whole event.

SJM1988 · 04/12/2024 13:52

Your friend is totally unreasonable here.

I am going to the cinema tonight with a friend. We used my meerkat movies to get one ticket free. I split the cost with her so we both got 50% off our ticket. I wouldnt dream of asking her to pay the full cost of 1 ticket while mine was free!

ClicketyClickPlusOne · 04/12/2024 13:52

You getting40% off for both of you involved no detriment to you- you would have got 40% off, so would she - as I understand it.

Her sharing her free ticket with you would be to her detriment (though a nice thing to do)

When she said she would book and use her free ticket you could still have said 'OK - but we can still get 40% off on the other ticket'- which would have benefitted either you or both whichever way she was choosing to use her freebie.

Put it down to you forgetting to check the 40%, you not thinking quickly enough when she phoned, and also her being a bit mean to use her freebie just for her.

Learn from all that.

Then, most of all, let it go. Look forward to the film, enjoy seeing your friend.

Nolegusta · 04/12/2024 13:50

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 13:43

Yes it is as irrelevant to the situation which is the principle of the thing.

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It's relevant.

Nina1013 · 04/12/2024 13:47

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 13:37

That's just the technical noise though, what it comes down to as the realisation that your friend is tight and has landed you with a full price ticket for her own convenience i.e to buy two tickets seated next to each other. With friends like that who needs enemies!

Show quote history

I disagree. Friend was going to pay 60% of the cost for the privilege of sitting together, but OP didn’t bother to book the tickets.

Honestly, I split restaurant bills 50/50 irrespective of what I’ve had, as a couple we pay for far above and beyond our own share of anything with family etc as we have more money, we are really generous. But I truly wouldn’t even consider it unreasonable to pay for my own ticket with my ‘free ticket’ and expect that my friend would cover the cost of my own. As in, it wouldn’t even occur to me to do it any other way. And I say that as someone who probably on average covers 75% of overall costs of everything I do with friends or family, so I am definitely not tight. The voucher is ‘my ticket’ and the friend buys their ticket. That’s the way I would see it.

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 13:47

ThisIsSockward · 04/12/2024 13:46

She's either selfish or not very bright. She knew you were planning or at least hoping to get a 40% discount on your ticket (not to mention sharing it so she would, too). If she didn't want to share the benefit of her free ticket so that you each paid only 50%, she could and should have made sure you were okay with paying full price before booking your ticket. And even then, it wouldn't have killed her to split the costs so that you each paid half price.

Yes, exactly this!

HellofromJohnCraven · 04/12/2024 13:47

Well just send her half! A breezy note to say that you will share your dh discount next time

ThisIsSockward · 04/12/2024 13:46

She's either selfish or not very bright. She knew you were planning or at least hoping to get a 40% discount on your ticket (not to mention sharing it so she would, too). If she didn't want to share the benefit of her free ticket so that you each paid only 50%, she could and should have made sure you were okay with paying full price before booking your ticket. And even then, it wouldn't have killed her to split the costs so that you each paid half price.

Cakeandcardio · 04/12/2024 13:44

You can still pay for the ticket and call her out a bit. Something like:

Hey. I have sent the money now. Didn't realise it would mean me paying for a full price ticket. I should have booked through my husband as then I would have had 40% off.

I am a wimp when it comes to things like this. But there's too much of this stuff getting skimmed over because the selfish fuckers are confident enough to screw quieter people over!

FamBae · 04/12/2024 13:43

I would have shared the free ticket, it's called being a friend.

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