Londoners not giving up seats on tube for pregnant women

Reread the first sentence of the OP.

People are always standing up for me. I am 52. I have a menopausal tummy. Its so embarassing!
But yes, they should. I always do. DS is sometimes engrossed in his phone but I make him if he doesn't notice.

Ask - but don't just ask the person sitting in the seat allocated for less abled/pregnant/older people. They may have a good reason for sitting in the seat i.e. a hidden disability, and may not want to have to explain, and play top trumps with you.
Just ask the carriage in general - 'hello, sorry to ask but is anyone able to give a pregnant lady their seat?'. Followed by a big smile, look around everyone. Someone will get up.

You have to ask - my experience was the same as you except I needed the seat more in the early days when I wasn’t showing.
I used to get the tube home at the same time as someone blind and I never saw him offered a seat either.

That's understandable but I do think people sitting in a priority seat (who don't need it) should look up at each stop to see who's getting on.

Yes, I agree with this. I actively don't sit here if there is another space available, but if I do end up in this seat, it is with the expectation that I might give it up at the next stop. That is basic tube etiquette.

But then, standing aside to let people off first, moving down the carriage and not jumping on the train at the last minute which causes the doors to have to reset, are all basic tube behaviours that seem to have gone by the wayside..... <tuts>

I often used to decline but would do so with effusive gratitude for the offer. I often had been sitting all day, I was happy so stand but I was genuinely very grateful for anyone who did offer. I don't think anyone offering me a seat would have been embarrassed to do so, I wasn't dismissive at all.

You don't address an individual, you say, "I'm sorry, I'm pregnant please could somebody kindly offer me a seat."

Like others say, on the tube I'm usually deep in reading a work document on my phone and trying to shut off all the chaos around me but if I heard that of course I'd give you my seat and if I do happen to look up and see a Baby on Board badge I ALWAYS give it.

I hate to say this OP but you need to get a badge, you might think you look obviously pregnant but it's not always easy to tell. Sorry I know that sounds a bit like it's your job to take responsibility for others actions but I've offered my seat to people who I thought looked pregnant and weren't and it's just mortifying all round.

I was about 35 weeks on a sweltering day on the jubilee line. I got on to a packed train. A guy standing told a guy sitting that he should stand up for me. The response? 'no, this isn't a priority seat'. His partner girlfriend whatever sat next to him and didn't move either.

So I'm not surprised to read this

Some of these stories are unbelievable. Really unbelievable.

I'm genuinely shocked by this - I always had people offer me when I was pregnant. Is your bump very obvious? I think sometimes people are scared in case you aren't actually pregnant. Do you have one of those badges?

I had DD2 earlier this year and in both pregnancies, I generally was always offered a seat (i worked up to 36/37w). I use the northern line. But in general I noticed it was more likely women to offer their seat up than men. A couple of times when i was standing, other standing women would shout "can you offer a seat to this lady" further into the carriage, but if i was only going 1 or 2 stops, I really didnt mind standing.

But to be honest, OP, it will be even worse when baby is here. Noone gives a shit about mums with buggies. Lifts are never working and very rarely will people offer to help with steps / give up the folding seats to make space for a buggy. A lot of the older buses can only fit one big buggy in the space. We take a lot of convoluted routes now to ensure an easier journey where we know there are working lifts. I also always carry a sling in the basket so if needed, I can pop baby in the sling and then drag the buggy up the stairs. It's only temporary for me, but it makes me extremely cross for those who are disabled and need the infrastructure to be working at all times.

I wouldn't feel comfortable asking someone for a seat

You don't ask a person, you just say to the carriage 'Excuse me, I'm pregnant and I really need a seat please' and I guarantee some people will offer you one.

I had a baby earlier this year and commuted to London whilst heavily pregnant. Not only did people refuse to give up their seats but people who barge into me, wack me with their bags, push me, squish up against my bump. I even had some bloke pointedly spot I was pregnant and barge past me and race to the only available seat on the tube and then look at me all innocently and shrug his shoulders. By the speed he moved I'm pretty sure he didn't need the seat as much as I did! Eventually I had to stop commuting and WFH full time because it just wasn't safe.

Why do pregnant women behave like this? Do you want a seat, or are you looking for validation of your newfound priority seating status? Don't be so utterly wet. Go to the priority seat and say "excuse me, do you need the priority seat?". If they do then you've got no right to eject them, so you go to another priority seat and ask. Three pregnancies and I've never been unable to find a seat this way.

Just ask.

You've never been there have you?

Just ask and half the carriage will offer

I always offer my seat and if I’m standing I ask others to give up their seats. One man (mid 30s, no visible disability) once refused to give up his seat to a heavily pregnant woman when I asked. I was furious with him (and accidentally trod on his foot as I got off). She shrugged and said it was typical of younger men not to offer. Terrible!

I have actually been offered a seat twice when I wasn’t pregnant lol. I was a bit overweight at the time. Both people who offered were young student types and were mortified when I told them I wasn’t pregnant lol. It was sweet of them though. I wasn’t offended.

When my son was abt ten he offered his seat to a heavily pg lady. He got
a lecture on decades of feminism and how she didn’t want any male to give up his seat.
he was so deflated and bc he is autistic took it very personally and vowed never to offer again .

Having said that most people aren't waiting on tenterhooks for someone to offer their seat to. Most people are engrossed in their phone, book, paper and therefore genuinely don't notice so of not forthcoming just ASK.

That's understandable but I do think people sitting in a priority seat (who don't need it) should look up at each stop to see who's getting on.

Commuted daily on the tube for 20 years on the northern and jubilee lines and never NOT seen someone visibly pregnant offered a seat (or someone with a pram offered help on stairs). Londoners are generally kind and thoughtful.

Having said that most people aren't waiting on tenterhooks for someone to offer their seat to. Most people are engrossed in their phone, book, paper and therefore genuinely don't notice so of not forthcoming just ASK.

The worst behaviour I've seen is on trains coming into London from outside and any public transport outside of London where the simple act of maybe wanting to sit on a free seat in shouting distance of someone else gets looks of disgust and passive aggression.

I’ll offer my seat if the pregnant woman is standing in the seat area but quite often they stay in the area near the doors which to me indicates they don’t want to sit.

When I was pregnant I was always offered one but I would stand right in front of the priority seats, making eye contact with the people sitting there.

I see this all the time in London.

I am older. When I was young I was taught to offer seats to anyone older than me, disabled, or pregnant. I still do.

I can't bear seeing young people hog seats while someone who needs it is standing. And yes they all do that thing where they pretend they haven't seen them. Are the young so fucking lazy that they have to sit on their lazy arses? I am older and I don't mind standing at all. Wtf is wrong with them?

Why are you targeting one person, just get on and stand in the aisle and say ‘please could I sit down’.

practise at home. You are gonna need to advocate for your child so best start practicing!

try to give up the pity party and ask for what you want