Londoners not giving up seats on tube for pregnant women

I travel on the tube everyday (central line) and always see people give up their seats for pregnant women, elderly, people with small kids etc. I find people on London Tube far more considerate that those on national railways.

You need to ask. Stand in front of the mirror and practice. Smile when you say it. Most people would be happy to help. I used the metropolitan line when I was pregnant and had to ask 50% of the time, I had one women elbow me whist I was heavily pregnant, whist trying to g to board the train and get the last seat. I gave it to her both barrels and she eventually offered up, but only after public humiliation. 99% of people are not prats.

Before phones there were newspapers. It's not a modern phenomenon.

Can I suggest you wear your “please offer me a seat” badge on your abdomen not on your chest. This is then at eye level for those sitting down, people standing can’t offer a seat

For this exact reason I go to the priority seats and ask “are you/is anyone in a position to give up your priority seat for me please?”. A lot of the time people don’t realise they’re in one, this means you’re asking for a seat you’re entitled to, and gives people a chance to say sorry I need this seat as well. I was uncomfortable asking at first but this was soon outweighed by me knowing I needed to sit down - if you don’t ask and then feel unwell I’m afraid that is on you.

The one and only time I was offered a seat on the Tube was when I was going home on my last day before mat leave and was 35 weeks pregnant.

That said, I got the train normally and lived at a station where I usually got a seat. Plus I was ok to stand anyway- the worst time was around 8-12 weeks when I just felt sick and was not showing at all.

When I was pregnant with DD2 I stood up for a more heavily pregnant women on the train while the majority of commuters - nearly all suited males on that train - hid behind newspapers.

That said I think a lot of people are just not looking as they are reading or listening to something, and I find immense politeness and kindness in London - DM is always helped with her case on stairs and people always helped me with the buggy.

Also often on these threads you will get posters saying "It's pregnancy, not a disability". Pregnancy can be quite disabling for some women, particularly those with hyperemesis or SPD - I think it's nice to ask.

I definitely look if anyone needs the seat more than me if I've sat in the ones nearest the door.

I used to shout "someone needs to give me a seat"
Never had a problem getting one
fortune favours the bold

I was on the tube once some years ago, all the seats were taken in the carriage but only one man was standing, some feet away from me. A heavily pregnant woman got on, carrying shopping bags, and I stood up and motioned for her to come over. As I edged away the standing man immediately shot into my seat. The other passengers were women and they all rounded on him and said the seat was for the pregnant lady. He tried to front it out but couldn't under the sustained tuts, loud comments and head shakes and he got up and stood at the door until the next stop.

Same experiences and was pregnant majority of this year, commuting in rush hour in London. People Do not GAF

Never had an issue on the tube when pregnant and never had to speak up.

Got offered a seat twice last week and I am only middle-aged but polite teenagers jumped up.

You do need to stand somewhere where you can be seen, people could easily offer to you.

I'm pregnant in London and don't get a seat, but I always do when I ask.

Also I think it's worth bearing in mind that people in priority seats might look "normal" but actually be disabled or pregnant themselves. I've had a pregnant woman ask me to get up and I had to explain im pregnant, which is why I'm in the priority seat.

Typical "I'm alright Jack" London attitude tbh.

I think its such a shame when people don't stand for people who need the seat but I think its the kind of situation where you can't force it unless you're going to have the courage to say like 'Would anyone be able to let me have their seat'.
I do agree its uncomfortable when its put onto you rather than people just having the kindness to offer.
When I was heavily pregnant and had PGP I used a stick when I was travelling and it made a huge difference to how people treated me, I wish I'd gotten it sooner rather than struggling for so long as people were so kind and helpful.
Though to be fair, whenever I travel in London with my baby/toddler I am almost always offered a seat and often turn it down if they're happily dozing in the carrier and might be disturbed if I squeezed into a seat.

"Yes I could ask but it would feel uncomfortable why can't anyone offer? Surely all the people sitting can't be hiding various disabilities?"

YABU based on this.

Also here to say “don’t complain if you don’t ask”.

Another tactic that can be helpful is to ask people standing near the seats if they can help you get a seat. Often it’s hard to get the attention of those sat down if you’re not stood right there, but people nearby might well ask for you. Not everyone is terrified of asking a stranger for their seat.

I remember someone one here saying once they sat on someone who refused to move. That would be my go to method tbh

I found that people fell over themselves to offer me a seat

I didn't ever mind standing for a few stops but would not have wanted to stand for the entire commute

As a pp said, IMO one of the issues is that people are so glued to their phones, they don’t notice much else.
Same on London buses, and I’m afraid to say that it’s most often young, perfectly healthy looking women, who hop on and off the bus like mountain goats, who plonk themselves in the first available (priority) seats, when there are quite obviously seats further back.
I very rarely see young men doing the same. 🙁

Agree.

Also, if there are so many people who are apparently healthy but have invisible disabilities, they can "use their words" in the same way that we apparently expect pregnant women, the elderly and the visibly disabled to do when we ask them to beg for seats - when asked, they can say "sorry, I do actually need this seat due to a health condition, but is there anyone else nearby who could give this woman a seat?"

If you expect special treatment (priority seats) due to your invisible disabilities but refuse to ever even mention that you have them...

In all my years I have never heard anyone be told to fuck off as a response to being asked for a seat.

Some horrible people about. If I was on the tube, bus etc... I would of given my seat to you. I have done in the past and lately I would not hesitate, its just common decency.
I also give up my seat for elderly, mother & child/children, and any one who asks if they have hidden disability of course.

In (mild) defense of Londoners. It's noticeable on the tube/bus etc that an awful lot of people desperately try not to catch the eye of anyone else. It's not ignoring others per se, it's just that sometimes that person who you lock eyes with is volatile/aggressive and you end up in an awful situation. A lot of people (including me) zone out using a book/phone/headphones. Mostly it's not rudeness although obviously there are arseholes everywhere.

So annoying as it is, I'd advise asking. You shouldn't have to but if you need a seat, you need a seat.

I had the same when I was pregnant. Someone offered me a seat on about 1 in 4 journeys. There'd be teenage boys sitting on seats directly in front of me playing on their phones.

You can ask (I also found it helpful to push your way to at least stand next to the seats, not by the door - some people find it awkward to get up and then risk some other random person thinking the seat was now free).

But it should be a norm to offer, and if for some reason the pregnant woman doesn't want it, or isn't actually pregnant, she should just smile, say thank you and decline (and feel happy regardless to live in a society where people are thoughtful of those who need help).

You are completely unjustified in being angry at an individual for not relinquishing their seat. No visible disability does not mean they do not have a disability.

That's why you don't ask individuals but rather address people generally because you do not know who does and does not have a disability and no-one is under any obligation to divulge their needs to a stranger