Londoners not giving up seats on tube for pregnant women

I usually wait out on the tube for the one I can sit on, so I'm not going to jump up unless you ask for it. If you do, fine of course I'll stand up, but I've probably waited 3 trains to get my seat so it is highly prized!

You need to ask. Don't need to ask a particular person, I just say loudly can I get a seat please and make eye contact with the person in the designated seat and also the people in the one next to it in case that person is validly in the seat. Also get on at the end of the carriage as less distance to battle through crowds to the seat.

I agree it would be nice if people sat in those seats took more responsibility to look around, but people are tired/distracted

I'm sorry OP. It's shit isn't it.

I think there's something about the punishing early morning crammed tube commute that makes people shut out their immediate environment, in order to cope.

With this, and later with offers to help with the buggy on the stairs, in general I found super important business types were too busy or stressed to notice / offer.

Edit to add: my elderly parent travels around London a lot and receives a lot of help and support. But this is outside of rush hour. I honestly think people can be dehumanised by work culture!

I found commuting on London tubes far easier than elsewhere. Was on a train in Birmingham a few weeks ago (obviously pregnant, plus had my TFL BoB badge on) and was physically barged out of the way when a seat became available at a stop, completely ignored previously when I had asked for a seat as I was feeling unwell.

I often don't always accept an offer of a seat on the Tube but I am far more comfortable travelling in London than elsewhere.

Definitely ask OP.

When pregnant with DD1, most people would offer, this was 10 years ago now. But, I preferred standing in the last trimester as I got fed up of sitting so much.

It is a very well-known scheme run by Transport for London to make it easier to identify pregnant woman in need of a seat, and avoid the awkwardness of other passengers having to play an internal game of “pregnant or fat.”

You are encouraged to order one as soon as you need it. TfL will send it for free.

I got on the elizabeth line at Stratford once with a bandaged up swollen red ankle (with my shoe in my hand) and no one offered me a seat either!

That being said for pregnancies I only offer if

1. very clearly definitely pregnant - I.e last few weeks belly button popped, holding their belly etc
2. they're wearing a badge
3. they ask

I once deduced someone was pregnant and offered them a seat on the bus.

They weren't pregnant.

Mortified isn't even the word.

I still remember the school girl who offered to help me up the stairs (I was heavily pregnant). I wanted to ring her mother and congratulate her!

I commute on the Piccadilly line. I regularly offer my seat / help to carry pushchairs but I also look out for seats which are blocked by suitcases / bags, usually belonging to people going to & from Heathrow, & loudly point them out as available.

The owners nearly always rush to move their stuff out of the way.

As above, ask politely.
i was tempted to sit on people's laps if they wouldn't budge.

Welcome to what disabled people experience every day, everywhere! You have to advocate for yourself.

You need to ask but invisible disabilities are common, I have a problem with my hip standing still and the jolting on a train is a real issue, i don't look disabled and wouldn't qualify for a blue badge but trust me, i could stand far better at 32 weeks pregnant than now

For goodness sake, if you’re about me a mother you need to learn how to speak up about your wishes and advocate for yourself. No point being polite and suffering and this lesson applies in all aspects of life.

”hello, I am 32 weeks pregnant and I need the priority seat please” is all it takes.

personally I find Londoners very quick to offer me a seat now I am over 60 despite the best efforts of my hair colourist, but also if I am on a tube and see someone who needs a seat I always speak loudly and ask those sitting to give up a seat to the person who needs it and they always do.

good luck with more confidently asserting your needs and with your forthcoming baby xxx

@mondaytosunday Glad you taught your kids but not many parents do nowdays. In the bus I get every morning there are many school kids going to school. I have always to ask to get a seat and usually a teenager. They always stand up after I ask but they do not look happy.

I bet you're going to have a baby on board sticker in the back of your car as well aren't you?

What the bloody hell is a "baby on board" badge
When did you start to wear it?

My experience on the tube last month was the opposite I was offered a seat just because of my age (I assume, mid 50s but perfectly healthy) and the sheer number of bags full of pens I was carrying post being at a conference. Then on the platform I put the bags down briefly to put my phone away and another young man asked if I needed any help! Was a bit insulted by all this tbh!

I was the same as you when pregnant, too embarrassed to ask then a young woman took one look at me and ordered a man off his seat! Was so grateful to her.

I am nearly 53 and don't have a car, so on my feet everyday. Still feel much better than when I was pregnant some 25 yrs ago.

You cannot control what anyone else does. You can only control what you do. Get over your discomfort and ask for a seat.

I don't live in London but was pleasantly surprised to have been offered a seat on a crowded tube there recently. I do have white hair but don't think of myself as elderly.

Pregnancy is not per se a disability and lots of women at 32 weeks are still going to the gym. I’ve even seen a few run 5-10k on a treadmill!

I do think it depends a bit on who the sitter is. If it is a fit young person, then they always should. But middle aged or older and maybe been on their feet all day, does pregnancy tiredness trump this?

It is nice if people are well mannered and offer, but I don’t thing pregnancy alone is a disability right up until the end of the third trimester (twins excepted). I, at nearly 60, would always give my seat up to anyone who looked like they were struggling or very heavily pregnant, but I wouldn’t necessarily to someone young who looked perfectly healthy and middling pregnant.

As for ‘baby on board’ badges, I think they are quite passive aggressive. And, as to asking, it depends how you do it. If you say ‘I’m really sorry, I need to sit, I am not feeling great’, I would always stand. But if someone just pointed to a badge, I would be tempted to say that they were pregnant, not sick.

@ParkAndRider I am 22 weeks pregnant and get the bus daily on rush hour. Middle age men are usually that stand up. I usually have to ask and even then no one gives their seat so I will go to one of the priority seats and tell them this is priority seat and if they can please stand up. I am not embarrassed just annoyed that when I say loudly , can someone give me their seat as I am pregnant the majority ignore me.

Failing that, I cleared half a tube carriage by announcing that I was going to be sick in my early twenties after a big night out.

I do think you need to ask. I always asked when I was pregnant and people then got up. But rarely if I didn’t ask.

It’s a bit crap that people no longer offer but likely it’s to do with mobile phones in front of our faces.

It would also help if trains, tubes etc weren’t so horribly crowded of course.

Say "I need to sit down please" firmly.

Practice saying it at home maybe so you will feel less awkward on the train.

Its a good exercise in being a bit more assertive OP, which it sounds like you need.

When I was PG I dind't always want to sit down on the tube - sometimes I preferred to stand. Clearly you are PG, and you are wearing the badge. People will give up their seats if you ask, but clearly you can't just assume they will do so if you don't ask.