Londoners not giving up seats on tube for pregnant women

But it doesn't mean you need a seat. It shows why you may need a seat.

To be honest, I don't see the point of the badges unless they give you more confidence to speak up. If you're feeling faint or whatever, just ask a person sitting. This would apply if you were pregnant or not.

Never had to do this but I would also hate to ask! Just think about it like you're asking for your baby not you and just say it. Pricks

Definitely use a baby on board badge. It's how I know that you do want a seat and early on saves awkwardness around 'is she, isn't she'.

Also make sure you are in people's line of sight (crush allowing!) and that you make eye contact if they do. Lots of times I've tried from my seat when I think it's a person who might want a seat. Often they are staring into the distance. Once I make eye contact a quick gesture is all that's needed to establish if they want the seat or not.

A sure way to be unhappy in life is to decide for yourself how other people ought to behave, according to you, and then be upset when they don’t. Especially in this case where a very simple remedy is offered by simply asking the carriage at large. If you don’t do that, it’s your choice to suffer.

Just to make a point- not everyone using the tube is a 'Londoner'.

London is multi cultural and plenty of people in London have been brought up in far flung corners of the country.

It's nothing to do with it being 'London'.

I also think that some men are genuinely confused because women have gone on about 'equality 'for so long that they are sometimes afraid of doing the wrong thing (even when it's the right thing!) And no, men can't become pregnant, but you take my point.

Oh fuck off

OP, you won’t change it by moaning about it on here. As everyone has said you simply need to ask for a seat (as PP said, don’t ask anyone specific, just ask the carriage) or put up without one. I’ve never had a problem doing this. You seem hellbent on not asking because it’s not fair that you have to - it’s not the hill to die on - just get over it and ask (or don’t, but don’t then moan).

Not been pregnant but did break my foot pre Covid when commuting in 5 days a week was the norm. Amazing how many people (usually men dare I say) would suddenly drop their heads and pretend to be asleep when I got on as if it wasn’t blindingly obvious that they weren’t 😂

I commuted regularly on Piccadilly and lizzy lines when I was pregnant earlier this year/end of last year and never had an issue with people giving their seat up for me when I asked if they required it. Majority of the time they just stood up and moved, some said sorry. No problems at all but I always made sure to ask.

I’ve also travelled on trains from Manchester to Birmingham and the train from London to Brighton. Strangely to me, folk in the south were much more obliging to move for me. I always got right dirty looks in Manchester when I required an accessible seat despite being very visibly pregnant.

THANK YOU for this post it's so upsetting.

OP it has been made clear by several PP that people often keep their heads down on their commute to make it bearable. I know I do. Even if I looked up, I travel in rush hour so probably wouldn't be able to see a pregnant woman or their badge. Just ask.

Of course you should ask if you need a seat. You don't need to ask anyone in particular - just address the people sitting immediately by you and people will spring up.

Commuting on the tube is horrid. People zone out to get that time of day a bit more to themselves rather that face the reality of the crush. I agree that if someone is sitting in the priority seats they are meant to be alert to their fellow passengers, but it's sometimes hard to tell or people switch off. That doesn't mean they're generally thoughtless or rude.

I personally deliberately don't take the priority seats because there is an obligation when taking those seats to be aware of your surroundings and prepared to give them up. Of course I would give my seat to anyone who needs it, whether I'm sitting in a priority seat or not. And if I notice someone obviously in need I'll offer, but I don't want to be scanning the crowd, assessing if someone is old enough, is that a badge on the coat folded over their arm, are they 100% definitely pregnant. I want my 2 hours of the day to myself, reading my book rather than to be on high alert all the time so I can be ready to be polite in a circumstance that really doesn't that really doesn't arise that often.

Be a grown up and ask for what you need. I think you'll find that more satisfying than deciding an entire city of people are rude and ranting about it on Mumsnet.

This. I commute 15 hours a week and headphones in, head down is the only way to make it bearable.

I found it depended on which tube line I was on. None were great, but some were worse. Same since I had to start using a walking stick. Low point was having a young man who clearly resented a woman taking up space in the world, who kicked my stick out from under me then swore at me when I fell over and was in his way as a result. Some people are just feral.

It’s not rudeness, it’s just tired and busy people going about their days. They won’t necessarily have clocked that the priority seat is already taken by someone who needs it (if that is the case) and therefore that they could and should offer you a seat. It can be hard to see the baby on board badges/a bump depending on clothes and angles. You expect strangers to go out of their way for you but you’re not willing to ask a simple question. YABU.

Well, I was recently on a very overcrowded train when many services were cancelled because of the storm. I was travelling with a young child and heavy luggage on both shoulders and was nearly standing on one leg as the train was absolutely packed with lots of bags on the floor etc. My child was standing next to a couple in their late 20s seated comfortably. The guy stood up and I thought - oh, what a nice person, he's going to offer his seat to my child. And I literally couldn't believe my ears when I heard him asking me to turn around and find his heavy bag on the luggage rack and pass it on to him! All in the midst of a very dense crowd, just to please his girlfriend.

Yes, it's absolutely unbelievable what people think and do these days. No common decency no shame whatsoever.

I used to have to ask when I lived there 12 years ago. Even a woman with her leg in plaster offered me a seat over everyone else once! I declined as I felt she needed it more than me. The worst was before I was showing but I felt so tired and constantly sick. One man drinking cans of beer gave me a lot of abuse for asking.

I think you're unreasonable not to speak up.

Regrettably, you cannot rely on other people doing the right thing. You need to speak up and ask, LOUDLY. I had to do this during chemotherapy as I was too exhausted to stand, and unlike you, didn't have a badge, just a very bald head. My starting point was always at the priority seats, and if they were occupied by someone I felt needed it more than me, i.e. someone pregnant, old, disabled etc. etc, I asked someone else. People will give you a seat, you just need to ask.

Just ask especially if they're sitting in the seat reserved for disabled/elderly etc. Most of the time they're absorbed in their phones and don't look up.

If they do have a disability, they will just tell you, and in the meantime someone else will have offered you a seat. It’s really not that awkward or uncomfortable. If you’ve got a problem speaking to other people that is really an issue for you to work on.

It's London, you're going to have to ask! It's that kind of town! You need to be a little 'aggressive'.

I remember being 17 (so 32 years ago) and standing on a London tube station with a load of gentlemen with briefcases (some still in hats!) and expecting them to let me on the tube. Nope, nope, no. Those fuckers pushed me right out of the way.

Im a Londoner with two children and now that I'm a middle class woman of a certain age, I take no crap. If I see a visibly pregnant woman and don't have a seat to offer myself I will ask loudly "do you need a seat? Will someone offer this lady a seat?" Never fails.

To be fair to my fellow commuters, between the crush, the multiple loud yet incomprehensible announcements, the beggars, the obnoxious people and the man spreaders, it is often the best coping strategy to keep your headphones in and your eyes down. So sometimes you really haven't noticed the bump until a busybody like me wakes you up.

There was a thread on this subject a few years ago, and the consensus seems to be that if you're not able to stand for the duration of your journey then you shouldn't be travelling by tube as pregnant women aren't will or weak and don't need to be patronised by being offered the chance to sit down.

I think that some people make the assumption that the above is the case and most women would be insulted to be offered a seat. Others won't bother to offer seats because they don't 'see' other commuters, or just don't care.

However, not offering seats in London isn't a new thing.

Fifty years ago I lived in London and travelled to work by bus everyday, generally with the same people, and, because of where I got on, I usually got a seat.

For a few months, every morning, the same pregnant woman would get on the bus a couple of stops on from me, by which time it was standing room only.

I was always the only person who offered her a seat. If I didn't have a seat to offer her she would have to stand.