Londoners not giving up seats on tube for pregnant women

I suspect people no longer offer their seat because a) They l worry the woman might not actually be pregnant, just carrying extra weight, and don't want to risk offending them. And b) Because they have indeed offered in the past and the woman in question has snapped back something like: 'I dont need help, I'm pregnant, not an invalid'!

It could be either of these things - or both!

Will never forget asking a lady in a priority seat if I could have a seat as I felt really unwell standing and swaying. I didn’t explain that I was pregnant as I was only about 8 weeks and it felt odd to tell a stranger something barely any of my friends and family knew. She said no. I sat on the floor and vomited in my bag before I had the chance to get off. Embarrassing for both of us I think

Did it ever occur to you, just as you felt odd telling a stranger why you needed the seat, so you didn’t, she was exactly the same and felt odd telling you, a stranger, why she also needed the seat, so she didn’t. Why do you think people don’t have the same feelings as you do?

You should never ask an individual due to this reason, but you should absolutely ask, addressed to the general audience of seats.

Oh gosh I agree! I have been really sick for the first half of my pregnancies. Will never forget asking a lady in a priority seat if I could have a seat as I felt really unwell standing and swaying. I didn’t explain that I was pregnant as I was only about 8 weeks and it felt odd to tell a stranger something barely any of my friends and family knew. She said no. I sat on the floor and vomited in my bag before I had the chance to get off. Embarrassing for both of us I think.

Don't ask an individual for a seat. Ask the carriage for one:
"Sorry to bother you all, I'm pregnant and not feeling too great, would anyone mind giving me a seat please?" Then there's no pretending that they haven't noticed.

I actually think people are generally good at offering up seats on the tube. I think the worst offenders are tourists who don’t realise that they’re sitting in a special seat.

Read all of your comments and couldn’t agree with you more. Some people are selfish and inconsiderate.

I’d be tempted to say pretty loudly:

“I’m quite obviously heavily pregnant and it is uncomfortable standing, would anyone who doesn’t NEED their seat be considerate enough to please give up their seat?”

I was once seated heavily pregnant, and went to help an old woman who dropped something and an abled bodied man took my seat from behind me - kicking my bag. London has turned into a horrible place

Now I'm older I get offered seats all the time by both young men and women. Can't say I've seen too much bad behaviour on the tube. It's the school kids who really take the biscuit for being incredibly inconsiderate, barging past to plonk themselves in a seat. Obviously manners are not taught at school.

I am surprised at the OP - in both of my pregnancies I was commuting by tube daily and people leaped up for me on the tube every time I wore the badge (and sometimes when I didn't, although understandably people are more nervous about assuming pregnancy without the badge). I literally never had a bad experience. I will note that at rush hour in particular and especially in the evening (when people are tired) people may not notice the badge. I think it is completely fine to say brightly, sorry is there a seat available. I am certain people will move and I absolutely do not think that there is a conspiracy of healthy people who don't want to give up their seat for pregnant women.

Everybody is on their phones now and in their own worlds. When I was pregnant I used to try to grab a seat becoming free, if they are all occupied you have to go to the clearly marked priority seat and ask nicely ”excuse me do you mind if I sit down”. With the best will in the world not everyone is scanning all the time to see if a person in need just got on the tube. It would be nice, but people are busy and so are tube trains. Just ask and you will be given! If it’s so packed and you are squashed by doors then nobody can really see and that is more difficult granted.

I always got a seat except when very packed as people can't see - you need to shout out 'in very pregnant can someone give up a seat please?'

@ForgottenPasswordNewAccount it is not about tiredness. You have bad balance when pregnant and easy to fall down. An accident like this can be dangerous for the baby. Also most pregnant women in the beginning of pregnancy they have severe nausea and later they have severe hip and back pain. Being middle age does not mean being unwell. Whoever is unwell should wear a badge.

Thanks, I'll add this to my list of things that annoy me about the Equality Act 2010. Why would this of all things be the final word in what "disability" means? And isn't it obvious that although pregnancy itself may not be a disability, it often is the direct cause of any number of temporarily disabling conditions, which justify treating the pregnant woman, temporarily, as disabled, and that this is what people mean when they say it?

You don’t have to ask individuals to give up their seats. You navigate your way to the middle of the seated part of the carriage and say loud enough for the people sitting to hear “would anyone mind letting me sit down?”

Worked for me every time.

@gannett 100% people just shutting off on tubes, I do the same. Head down and mind my business. I didn't look too pregnant as I'm tall so I was quite small, but crutches were hard to miss 😂
When i got on with crutches I'd never seen Londoners so kind tbh but before that I'd always been able bodied. Oooo before tubes were nightly on weekends I'd return home from central on the morning tube and did have kind Londoners help me keep pizza in the box. They became all night or whatever once I had a kid 😭 all the night buses, all the casinos until first tube 😭 ah well. Hah memories. These days it's by car most places.

I think people have become epically self centred and selfish sadly. It's also quite likely that anyone getting up to give you a seat will be knocked sideways by two oblivious people racing to fill the spot.

It's not confined to London Underground. I got a train recently and an elderly man was standing in a corridor at the exit [by choice as plenty of seats] with his rollator. When the train pulled into the station he slowly got out of the train and then turned to try and pull out his walking aid. The platform was about a foot lower than the step out of the train. At least 5/6 people queuing to get out, walked straight past the door and got out at the one adjacent so they neither had to wait for him to disembark or offer assistance to him. Mind blowing.

I also saw two elderly couples in their mid to late 70's stand in the aisle of a packed intercity train [no reservations possible] for 1.5hrs while seats around them were filled with teenagers, young adults in 20's and 30's. As much as I'd hate to be standing for that length of time and had equally paid for my ticket for a shoddy train service I'd be utterly ashamed of myself not to offer.

Pregnancy isn’t a disability. The definition of disability under the Equality Act 2010 is an illness or health condition that has a substantial impact on everyday life and is expected to last 12 months or more. Pregnancy has it’s own protections under the Act.

I was pregnant on crutches, very obviously disabled and people didn’t care at all!

Yep. I’m in a wheelchair and have lost count of the times people have refused to move a pram/pushchair out of the designated disabled space.

Ugh sorry OP, I had the same problem. I had to sit on the floor because I almost passed out numerous times before I was offered. Before anyone says I should have asked, I feel almost embarrassed to because of the way some people react to giving theirs up, they make it look like such a chore and I don't want to be a Karen

OP, you say “you shouldn’t have to ask,” - ok well that hasn’t worked out for you so far. Maybe rather than operating in a world of “shoulds”, just ask for a seat and you will receive.

I found this when I was on crutches too. It was actually quite annoying because it was far more of a faff to wrangle my crutches, bag and busted ankle into a seat and then out of it again than to just find a good standing angle I could balance at.

I've witnessed people getting up to give pregnant/injured/elderly people a seat on the Tube many, many times, so I don't believe entire carriages refusing to do so is commonplace. However what is very commonplace is the majority of Tube passengers shutting off and being completely unaware of anyone else getting on or off, let alone whether they're pregnant. It's a necessary means of surviving the journey.

Okay and you’ve recognised that people don’t give a fuck so where do we go from here? If you don’t say, ‘please can I sit down’ then you’re unlikely to get to sit as people are dicks. You shouldn’t have to ask but you clearly need to.

You’ll decide whether you want to ask or stand the whole journey until a seat becomes available

I disagree with the PP who said pregnancy only counts as an illness/disability at the end. I found it was worse in the first trimester with morning sickness. But I did wear a baby on board badge and asked out loud for a seat then, because it wouldn't have been obvious.

When it is obvious, I think people should just know to give up their seats. It's one of those little things that makes society flow a little better - now that I'm not pregnant anymore I give up seats for the elderly/disabled and it gives me a warm feeling, and I assume they also feel grateful for the seat, and we all feel closer together. We lost that - in return for what, I don't know.

Born and raised Londoner. Pregnant no seats offered, once I got a seat by accident. Then angry pregnant lady yelled at me because she was due in 8 weeks or something. I said sorry maybe the man next to me would offer. She was adamant I move, it was a Friday and I was due on the Monday 😂 I didn't have a badge on because I felt my choice to have a baby isn't a reason to make others give me a seat, but I was a turnip back then and suffered silently. Through the whole 9 months I didn't get a seat offered once but idk, not mad about it. Sat on the floor of south west trains it was back then idk what they call themselves now because no seats available and I felt really off. People still didn't offer even when belly obvious.

However, when I had crutches, I swear immediately the whole damn carriage offering. OP. Get some crutches. Just use crutches your whole pregnancy. Clearly a badge isn't working, you're...not willing to ask? Idk you need to work on that...or ... grab some crutches. Hobble on. I'm talking tourists getting up, making space. Londoners. MEN! Crutches. They're better than a badge.