Londoners not giving up seats on tube for pregnant women

You just need to ask. People are in their own worlds, have their own reasons not to stand and don't want to offer if someone isn't pregnant but maybe looks it.
I need a seat at the moment for other reasons that aren't visible, and I have to ask, and there is always someone that stands quickly or at least helps if they can't stand.

Just ask. I'm disabled and if I get a fuck off I remind the person it is a condition of carage to give up an access seat if required to do so

That’s absolutely fine, as long as you don’t target individuals but ask generally.

No, most people don’t have hidden disabilities. However the odd one does. I have a child that does and they are every bit in need of a seat as any other person with disability, pregnancy or old age. Several times, when travelling with them and when crowded, they have been targeted as a seemingly healthy young adult and asked to give up their seat. I, standing next to them, say ‘no, that’s not possible, they require a seat’ because as a young adult they are embarrassed to admit there is something wrong with them. Invariably we will get guff about how they have to/condition of carriage/sitting in disabled seats/this is the problem with young people these days etc. Once they start down whatever one of these insane paths they choose to carry on with I give a very firm ‘Fuck off’ because I just don’t want to do it and don’t see why child who already feels embarrassed about their condition should have to cop such diatribe. No way should any person with a disability have to disclose the nature of it to anyone.

Should say, if I wasn’t there my child would most likely give up their seat to avoid having to voice their needs in a public forum, then the whole train would be held up with a medical event. Doesn’t happen though, as they don’t get public transport unless they have someone to accompany them in the event they do become unwell (even if seated, but a lot less chance). Anyone who accompanies just does the automatic response quickly followed by a ‘fuck off’ if people keep going on about the seat.

Zero problem with anyone who needs it asking in general for a seat. Huge problems with people making assumptions on others health/needs and targeting individuals to give up their seat.

It's absolutely shit but honestly the best advice I can give is you need to ask. You shouldn't have to but you need to.

Excuse me, can I sit down please.

Repeat.

Congratulations

You should ask. I don't live in London, but one time while visiting I was on a bus. I don't think it was a disabled seat. I was looking out the window, and hadn't seen a woman get on with a crutch. When I stood up to get off, I noticed her. I was mortified that I hadn't given up my seat before that. She was very nice about it, but I genuinely didn't see her. Sometimes people are in their own world.

I was noticeably pregnant on the tube in 2000, it was crowded and I was standing. At a busy stop where lots of people were getting off a man tried to stop me getting a seat by putting his bag on it till he could get to it to sit down. A woman very loudly told him off and told me to take the seat. I'll never forget her, sisterhood in action 😆

Move to Barcelona ;)

We were amazed at the way seats were offered to the elderly and pregnant on trains and buses during our recent visit : yes, it's the rules, but to see everyone being so respectful of them was a reminder of how lacking such behaviour can be elsewhere.

Just ask. Like other commuters, the only way I hope with the daily 2 hours of hell on the train is to shut the outside world out. I'd happily give you my seat if you asked but there's no chance I'd notice your bump or your badge otherwise.

Also, sometimes when I was commuting pregnant, I actually wanted to stand, I'd been sitting all day. I was mortified once when a well meaning lady made a massive fuss about "this lady is pregnant, why are none of you offering her your seat?!" which was so well intentioned of her but I hadn't asked because I didn't want one!

I’ve been asked so many times if I want a seat on the tube - and I’m not pregnant! It was mortifying, especially the time I was coming back from a scan confirming a miscarriage.

Most people on the tube are not paying attention, they’re deep in thought, reading , listening to music etc. I can understand you might not feel confident in asking, but I’ve never seen anyone refuse to give up their seat, most Londoners are very friendly!

Ask. Has pregnancy rendered you unable to speak?

You need to ask.

I’m shocked that pregnant and disabled people get told to fuck off if they ask for seat! Unbelievable!

Yeah people will try to ignore you OP.

It’s not just if you’re pregnant - I’ve had broken limbs and been ignored, I’ve seen blind people and the very elderly ignored etc.

I think it’s something particular about commuters - travelling on their own and so limited social pressure to do anything?

I learned to just ask, and not feel awkward about it. People are all suddenly very able to give up their seat once you’ve asked.

Annoying though.

Yeah someone pointed at the sign above me and said ‘can’t you read?’ Yes I can that’s why me and my disability are in a seat. I don’t ‘look disabled’ but i am. Issues with standing and my joints.

I was on a very busy train in London the other day where two pregnant woman got on and stood. Two other strangers spoke up and asked people to get up so they could sit down which they did.

I honestly think people are so engrossed in their phones on a London commute that they don't even notice these things sometimes.

Please speak up! If you say "is anyone please able to give me a seat?" you will get a seat.

Do you wear one of those please give me a seat badges? It doesn't work all the time but I think people are more likely to notice if you do wear one.

I suspect a proportion of the commuters are not Londoners either but travelling through or into London!

I barely look up when on the train, usually using the time for life admin, but wouldn’t hesitate to give my seat up.

Something to consider: the baby on board badge may not be visible from the seated vantage point and, as PP said, assuming someone is pregnant based on their bump can lead to embarrassment, so I would urge you to ask when you need it.

A surprising number of people on mumsnet don’t believe in standing up for pregnant women. Blows my mind but it’s the reality. There are so many shit things you need to put up with that standing while lugging a baby, feeling sick/dizzy and having scientifically proven impaired balance just doesn’t need to be another one imo.
I would always move for a pregnant woman but obviously that’s not universal anymore.

You need to ask. Most people won't offer.

And yes, there are seats for disabled/pregnant/parents of small kids so ask the people sat there.

You need to ask not complain on here. Dint be afraid. I know values and manners have declined sadly, so use your voice.

once on the bakerloo line I was pregnant and sitting. A lady came in and she was pregnant too. I politely asked the man sitting next to me to give his seat to this woman which he did.
i thanked him. I explained to the lady I was pregnant too.
my station arrived and I wish the lady well and thanked the man again. She told me she thought he was my husband. we all
laugh.

Sisterhood! Help yourself and help others.

Sorry you’ve experienced this- it hasn’t been my experience. Definitely ask- I think in rush hour people sometimes tune out if their surroundings (because it’s so hellish) and might not notice you.

Echo the views - just ask. I always asked the person sitting in the seat allocated for disabled/pregnant/less able to stand passengers. That way I didn’t feel I was having to ‘choose’ a person to ask which felt easier and more straight forward. I didn’t wait to be noticed.

I don’t live in London but would back you up if anyone was rude to you.

Just ask. I'm disabled and if I get a fuck off I remind the person it is a condition of carage to give up an access seat if required to do so.

PS what is more uncomfortable- asking a simple question or “enduring a journey feeling dizzy and sick” - you have a responsibility to your baby now as well - so do it for them.

Just ask. Even when I was heavily pregnant there were days I didn't want a seat (eg if the train wasn't crowded and I had been sitting all day). Perhaps if you don't ask people think you don't want a seat.

Just ask, pregnancy does not make women speechless