Londoners not giving up seats on tube for pregnant women

She could well have been fat then? It's not always easy to tell.

I once asked a woman when her baby was due {I was pregnant at the time} and she replied that she wasn't pregnant.
That really was embarrassing.

Thankfully she said she'd just HAD her baby which was a great relief!

I commuted every day on the Piccadilly line whilst pregnant and never had to ask for a seat. Sometimes had to wait a few stops but always got offered one eventually

As a PP said - move to Barcelona

Or just ask? Whichever is easier...

You need to ask. If I’m on the train, I wouldn’t necessarily notice you. I’ve also seen others offering a seat to a woman they thought pregnant on a couple of occasions but they weren’t pregnant, which was awkward so I would avoid. I may not notice a badge as I don’t look at people that much.

I'm not pregnant but am in my 60s and often travel by tube. I'm perfectly capable of standing up, but am frequently offered a seat - most often by ethnic minority men or foreign tourists. Of course, I accept gracefully, even though I am mortified to be obviously an old woman. I wonder if the problem is more acute during rush hour - nobody is in the best frame of mind during the commute. Unfortunately, the only option is to ask.

As everyone says you need to use your voice, I'll always offer my seat if I see someone who needs it but I'm often a bit of a zombie on the train - even if I look in the direction of someone it's highly likely I'm not actually 'seeing' them but completely zoned out or thinking about something else.

To look at me you would think I'm perfectly healthy but I have cancer and can't stand for long. My husband is a strapping bloke but has a brain injury and while looks normal his balance is way off so can't stand on a train or bus. Being pregnant isn't an illness but you would judge both of us I suspect

Yes, isn't it.
"Excuse me, I'm pregnant/disabled and really need a seat. Would you mind?"
"Fuck off".
The end.
Truly unbelievable...

Yeah but in that instance you want to be in the “wrong” for the right reasons.

As a Londoner I think if you're in one of the seats assigned for people less able to stand, it's on you to scan the passengers at each stop to check if there's someone you need to offer your seat to.

Unfortunately in these days people (especially men) are just a likely to get a barrage of abuse from the person they are offering a seat to.

This has happened to DF on more than one occasion

Rush hour is the worst unfortunately. I developed a list of who was most likely ot offer me a seat from most likely to least likely (there are other groups but I didn't have enough experience to put them in my list).

1 Young Asian men. Teenagers x50 - I had male teenagers leap across busses to give me seats, on more than one occassion

2 Older Asian men

3 Women of all backgrounds but trending towards middle aged or older - but this was a bit fluid. In rushhour, less so, out of rush hour, regularly.

4 white men

Was always thus OP. My daughter is nearly 36 now;back when I was pregnant a woman with a very large bump was strap hanging in front of me clearly in some distress as it was hot hot hot. No-one offered a seat so I did. One pregnant woman giving up her seat or another and no, no-one offered me a seat.

We live in the middle of nowhere but visit London as tourists several times a year and always use the tube. I sat in the ' please give up your seat' space . A pregnant woman got on. Very obviously pregnant rather than fat. I asked her if she would like to sit down. She said no very sharply and turned her back on me . You can't win. If you offer its wrong ,if you don't it's wrong.

I wasn't very impressed when no-one stood up to give their seat to a very tottery elderly lady on the London underground. Once someone did stand up to disembark I stood over it and DH helped her to it.
She was so grateful, as if kindness was unusual. That was upsetting.

Not from London so maybe that's normal to Londoners, not helping the elderly.

I agree with PP shirt asking. I’ve been navigating the tube on crutches with a broken foot since August. I find most of the time people are very good at giving me space to get on etc but if I get on and there are no seats I find a cheery “can someone offer me a seat please” usually does the trick. I hated doing it at first but have become somewhat immune now, I was always better at asking for other people rather than myself 😆

I find buses and the Elizabeth line are the worst though, if anyone has cracked those I’d been keen to know how!

I dont beleive this tbh

EDIT - that anyone has told pregnant or disabled people to "fuck off" when they ask for a seat

You've always had to ask, sadly.

If it's leaving you feeling tired and dizzy, definitely do. Most people will move if you ask. Few will if you don't - they'll either not notice, or presume you're fine/happier standing.

You need to ask. I live in London and have always been offered if people noticed, but if not and the tube was busy/ I needed a seat I would ask.

As a PP said - move to Barcelona. And as many others have stated, you need to speak up. It’s not the culture here to be giving and kind to strangers like that without being shamed into it, unfortunately.

You make asking for a seat sound very appealing!

Coming at this from a slightly light hearted angle, some people may not notice you are pregnant and think you're overweight (and don't want to offend.)

A friend of ours (male) was upset (light-heartedly) when offered a seat on the tube as he was being labelled as 'elderly' and he really wasn't.

I never had to ask! But the last time was 13 years ago so maybe things have changed.

It actually restored my faith in humanity/Londoners a little bit - there was literally no demographic that were more or less likely to offer me a seat.

This absolutely grinds my gears! I have a newborn and was commuting into the office at 34w, obviously very pregnant.

i ASKED for a seat and a man told me he needed a seat. And another time on a separate occasion, I was standing and didn’t ask (couldn’t be bothered with the hassle) and a man kindly got up. The man next to him said why are you getting up, you don’t get her pregnant, it’s not your problem. I saw RED and said he was being polite, to which he started saying I shouldn’t give him attitude, I’m not even from England so I should shut up, etc etc. (not that it has any relevance, I am British but that doesn’t matter here, and CF was American). I was again, heavily pregnant. People are just so rude.

so many horror stories happened to me whilst pregnant that I just stopped asking.

I have never experienced this in London ever.

I’ve been offered a seat when I’ve been pregnant, when I broke my arm and definitely didn’t need a seat but was offered one anyway (declined it obviously). One day I was a little tearful and was offered a seat and a chat on the bus. I declined the seat but enjoyed the chat.

and I always offer someone else my seat if they need it or have a lanyard.

I also had a teenage boy around 17 offer me his seat thinking I was pregnant and I wasn’t. I never told him I wasn’t but said no thanks (nicely) and my next purchase was a pedometer and some gym clothes. 🤣

My son has been offered a seat just for being little and a bit wobbly on his feet.

Sorry you’re experiencing the opposite OP. Try asking?