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AIBU?

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AIBU to think that some people automatically age and look a good bit older when they hit 30

112 replies

ZaraV · 03/12/2024 18:29

I feel a lot of people lose their youthfulness around that age. It’s like one month they look late teens early twenties then as if a switch is flicked they look close to 30. I have this friend who when she was 27 could easily pass for someone who’s 19 or even younger but now she looks much older 5 years later. She looks maybe about 27 at youngest but you wouldn’t look at her and think she’s a teen. It’s sad it almost looks as if she’s let herself go which she hasn’t. Her makeup doesn’t sit the same either

OP posts:
fivebyfivebuffy · 03/12/2024 19:13

Fabuloosaloo · 03/12/2024 18:41

I think physical ageing starts around 25 . That's when I noticed a few fine lines around the eyes and a few grey hairs.

Really? I'm 40 with no grey hair or fine lines around my eyes! Definitely didn't at 25

PoppyRoseBucky · 03/12/2024 19:07

ZaraV · 03/12/2024 18:43

She looks younger without makeup to be fair but still not like a teen which is sad in a way

Why should she look like a teen when she's in her thirties, though?

And why is it sad that thirty-something woman doesn't look like a child?

Abitlosttoday · 03/12/2024 19:03

Dash0Cal · 03/12/2024 18:37

I don’t think ageing happens in a straight line. You go along looking the same for yonks and then suddenly gain 10 years in a month. It’s what the French call a coup de vieux.

I agree. People plateu for years, then suddenly plunge into agedness! Skincare helps but not as much as genetics, a happy (stress free) life, a good diet and exercise. Oh, and sleep. Kids age people.

TipsyKoala · 03/12/2024 19:02

I think rapid aging tends to coincide with having kids!

PrincessHoneysuckle · 03/12/2024 19:02

Didn't look much older than 26 at 30.im 44 now and look older but no noticeable lines

Saschka · 03/12/2024 18:56

I would say it happens much older than 30 - I looked youthful until I was about 40 then suddenly looked haggard.

I’m not sure whether it was having a baby at 38 that aged me, or the pandemic, but at 45 I look about 20 years older than I did at 35 (obviously I still looked over 30, but I looked bright eyed and bushy tailed then, and now i definitely don’t).

MereNoelle · 03/12/2024 18:53

ZaraV · 03/12/2024 18:43

She looks younger without makeup to be fair but still not like a teen which is sad in a way

Why is it sad that a 30 year old doesn’t look like a teen?

MiddleParking · 03/12/2024 18:51

It’s not ‘sad’ for a 32 year old woman to no longer look like a teenager. And saying ‘it looks like she’s let herself go’ is not a neutral observation. People need to get a grip.

HowManyNsInBrenn · 03/12/2024 18:48

I have this friend who when she was 27 could easily pass for someone who’s 19 or even younger but now she looks much older 5 years later. She looks maybe about 27 at youngest but you wouldn’t look at her and think she’s a teen.

Why would you expect a 32 year old to 'look like a teen'? Confused what an odd thing to say. Ageing is a privilege and not something everyone gets to experience, so I think it's incredibly sad that some women seem to want to stay looking as young as possible by having botox/filler (which, 99% of the time, actually makes them look older than their biological age), and start to panic/are judged if they don't look like a teen in their early 30s?! Bizarre behaviour.

Stillplodding · 03/12/2024 18:46

EddyF · 03/12/2024 18:34

It depends. A lot of my white friends played with the sun when younger which aged them prematurely. Those who took care with the sun look the same or younger. Majority of my Black/brown friends do not age at all - I think due to melanin.

Skincare is so important but for most of us, we kinda learn it too late.

I thought this recently.

A good friend just turned 40. I haven’t seen her in a few months, but knew she was loosing weight. We normally meet up to walk the dogs- both in appropriate attire, hair scraped back, absolutely no fuss paid to appearance, usually covered in mud and it’s pouring with rain.

She posted some birthday pics and I had to double take. She was wearing an older top that I recognised from 15 years ago. Honestly at first glance I thought the photos were from our twenties.

She looks absolutely incredible! Her skin is perfect and she’s not got any lines or wrinkles at all! She just looked absolutely phenomenal (and no I don’t think she doctored the pics at all, that’s just not her).

She is of Chinese heritage if it makes any difference. Doesn’t drink, hasn’t smoked since her teens. Her skin is absolutely flawless.

Sadly there is no way anyone is mistaking a recent picture of me for one taken 15 years ago!

ZaraV · 03/12/2024 18:45

Hunglikeapolevaulter · 03/12/2024 18:43

Thirty seems a bit young for fast ageing. In my observation it hits a bit in the mid forties.

Yeah I thought that too. She’s mentioned that she feels she’s aged with the stress of what she’s been through the past 5 years. She also has kids

OP posts:
SilverDoe · 03/12/2024 18:43

I'm 31 and this is me. I did have 3 kids between 21 and 26 though so I feel like it's not a surprise to me 😆

I've been eating lots of berries, taking lots of omega 3, and got some really good skincare products that actually suit my skin, and I look way better than I have in a couple of years tbf.

ZaraV · 03/12/2024 18:43

eRobin · 03/12/2024 18:38

Also makeup is used earlier and earlier which can give the illusion of looking older than they are so when someone
takes it off it can look strange

She looks younger without makeup to be fair but still not like a teen which is sad in a way

OP posts:
Hunglikeapolevaulter · 03/12/2024 18:43

Thirty seems a bit young for fast ageing. In my observation it hits a bit in the mid forties.

Rayna37 · 03/12/2024 18:42

In my experience, not at 30, no. 40 yes, much more of a cliff edge with rapid aging.

Fabuloosaloo · 03/12/2024 18:41

I think physical ageing starts around 25 . That's when I noticed a few fine lines around the eyes and a few grey hairs.

ZaraV · 03/12/2024 18:41

Dash0Cal · 03/12/2024 18:37

I don’t think ageing happens in a straight line. You go along looking the same for yonks and then suddenly gain 10 years in a month. It’s what the French call a coup de vieux.

It’s crazy isn’t it? I always assumed people age in a line until recently. Hope time is kind to me

OP posts:
LSTMS30555 · 03/12/2024 18:40

EddyF · 03/12/2024 18:34

It depends. A lot of my white friends played with the sun when younger which aged them prematurely. Those who took care with the sun look the same or younger. Majority of my Black/brown friends do not age at all - I think due to melanin.

Skincare is so important but for most of us, we kinda learn it too late.

See I've found it the opposite whites usually start aging early granted but it's slow and gradually; however most bame I know seem to go from 20-60 in the blink of an eye.

eRobin · 03/12/2024 18:39

Pandasnacks · 03/12/2024 18:36

Try taking a look in the mirror at yourself and why you are judging your friends appearance this way, because it says far more about you than her. Guessing you are afraid of aging yourself, but you can't avoid it. So use a good spf and work on this personality trait you've got.

Keep your knickers on and your school age come backs cos the OP didn’t mean it like that

Fabuloosaloo · 03/12/2024 18:38

I get what you are saying . I've photos of me at 28/29 and photos of me at 34/35 the difference is shocking . My jawline and waist vanished . It happened late forties when wrinkles and sagging kicked And late fifties too . Any looks I had disappeared but by then I didn't care .

ZaraV · 03/12/2024 18:38

EddyF · 03/12/2024 18:34

It depends. A lot of my white friends played with the sun when younger which aged them prematurely. Those who took care with the sun look the same or younger. Majority of my Black/brown friends do not age at all - I think due to melanin.

Skincare is so important but for most of us, we kinda learn it too late.

I see what you mean. A lot of black and brown skinned people age much better. It’s the white people who I feel age fast and it’s also skincare.my friend is white. She does take care of her skin but used to not wear as much sunscreen when she was younger

OP posts:
eRobin · 03/12/2024 18:38

Also makeup is used earlier and earlier which can give the illusion of looking older than they are so when someone
takes it off it can look strange

Dash0Cal · 03/12/2024 18:37

I don’t think ageing happens in a straight line. You go along looking the same for yonks and then suddenly gain 10 years in a month. It’s what the French call a coup de vieux.

PinkRetro · 03/12/2024 18:37

I'm almost 40 and it's remarkable the differences. Some still look in their late twenties and early thirties, others a lot older.

Pandasnacks · 03/12/2024 18:36

ZaraV · 03/12/2024 18:35

I’m not meaning to be. I’m just flabbergasted at how some people who hit 30 can age fast

Try taking a look in the mirror at yourself and why you are judging your friends appearance this way, because it says far more about you than her. Guessing you are afraid of aging yourself, but you can't avoid it. So use a good spf and work on this personality trait you've got.