Little one is flower girl for someone else's wedding. Expensive!!

Thinking about it, when DD was a flower girl, it was just the dress that was paid for. We were lucky though as it was summer, so no need to worry about tights/cardigan. Also, no added requirements re hair style, so I just styled it was usual and she wore her usual shoes. I do appreciate there's no way, she can go without a cardigan and tights though. As they haven't provided them, I'd be tempted to get them in a matching colour, so they could be worn again. If bride doesn't like your choice (don't take labels off so can be return), suggest she politely source her own choice.

I think you've got some snippy replies here. I think YANBU because most standard kids wardrobes don't include stuff suitable to wear in a wedding party. If my children were asked to be in a wedding party they'd have to have a lot of new stuff.

OP you need to chill out and enjoy the experience. Your little girl will have a lovely day and warm everyone's hearts.
Don't be a grinch!
Vinted has masses of bargains for little ones, or maybe a friend has an item or two to lend you.
Jeez, just enjoy the experience.

Your daughter was part of a bridal party wearing wellies. Unless you were the bride I think that was a pretty poor decision on your part.

you need all those things anyway (tights, coat, cardigan) so idk why that's an issue. Hair clip? don't bother if they're not arranging it. Tell them this so they have a chance.

I would have had a chat about expectations when the offer was made - it's fairly straightforward isn't it?

Them: "So pleased she will do it - we will buy the dress."
You: "She's really excited - will you also cover shoes/stole/etc."

She can wear her normal coat on the day can't she and then just take it off for a matter of seconds for photographs - no one is photographed in their coat in wedding pictures normally. You seem to be really cross about this and yet you agreed for her to do it. Is there more to it than the additional expenditure (which should have been resolved with a conversation earlier)?

I’d be asking the bride to contribute, the dress is a minor part considering you need her hair piece/shoes/cardigan/tights. Are they expecting you to leave her in just the dress in January? YANBU!

I would expect to do a 2 year olds hair myself, the other things, they could cover.

But I wouldn’t mind, but if I was on a tight budget I might

Weddings are just expensive

I think it would be polite to show the bride the outfit additions you’ve chosen (take a photo of daughter dressed up)
and be clear that you expect her to have a warm layer on at all times outside, if the bride would prefer a different shrug, fur coat, cardigan then she could choose an alternative, but in January your daughter won’t be wearing just a dress.

id be warm and enthusiastic, but also pragmatic

Maybe my idea of wedding wear is diffferent from yours. And I’d have been pretty gutted if my flower girl had been accessorised in such a way. (That said I gave her a dress, tights and cardigan, her mum chose gold pumps to go with)

Lol this made me laugh, are you serious?

You'd send your child to a wedding as a flower girl in her normal trainers and a patterned cardigan?

OP could do that if she was purposely trying to make a point but most people would buy white/ivory items to use for this.

Probably less than half of that if she shops around on ebay/vinted etc. No point buying brand new if it won't be used much afterwards.

I'm sure eyebrows were raised even as a guest that you let your child wear wellies to a wedding. It would be completely inappropriate as a flower girl to put her in mismatched tights and shoes as a flower girl. They'd think you were insane!

I do think the bride should be paying for all of it.

I mean tights, cardy and a clip aren't exactly silly money so I think YABU a bit.

I meant to say it is nice to be included but not to the point you have to pay so much for the "privilege" especially if you are already paying for travel and a wedding gift imo.

You can make this as cheap or as expensive as you choose.

To me if you want bridesmaids and flower girls for your wedding then you pay for their clothes and extras, I could only afford 3 so that's how many I had.
It is nice to be included in the wedding party but most if not all expenses should be covered by the bride and groom.

This. You had already agreed to do it it's a lovely opportunity. Don't stress it just enjoy.

If she was attending the wedding as a guest you'd probably be buying a full outfit though. If you were a bridesmaid you'd expect to buy your own tights, bra etc and may well not have something suitable already.

The most recent wedding, my youngest DC went in wellies because that's what she wanted to wear. She's a small child, so who cares, they don't have to be mini adults.

But either they want ivory stuff so they should pay, or they're not bothered so just use what she has. Really don't get the issue.

Yes, I'd happily put my DC in anything like this if it's what I had. Really don't see the problem with trainers or strawberries etc. Is there some secret anti fruit rule for weddings? 🤔

my daughter is well dressed and well provided for. But I am almost certain I wouldn’t have clothes suitable for a flower girl. Would apple green tights suit? Would holographic trainers or electric blue shoes suit? Multi coloured sweatshirts? A cardigan covered in strawberries?

Sounds like you've just got a bee in your bonnet about it.

How much would that really set you back? About £50? It's nice to be included in a wedding party. If you can't stretch to get a few bits then tell them or decline.