Little one is flower girl for someone else's wedding. Expensive!!

You are being a bit OTT in my opinion ! Tights and a cardigan can be purchased relatively cheaply, or just let her wear a coat when outside between photos. As they aren't too fussed about the colour of shoes, you can pick up a cheap pair from a supermarket or Primark .
Hairdressers are expensive so you doing her hair is fine - only my sister had her hair done when she married (my daughter and I did our own - straighteners and curling wand)

We were at a wedding in February, not flower girl but as a day guest so I got a beautiful navy Monsoon dress for £7 and a Next tweed coat with fur trim £6 both off Vinted then just bought a bolero cardigan, tights and a hairclip. Shoes were some cheap silver glitter ones from Matalan I bought for the nativity when she was an angel. They take them off soon as the meal is over anyway. I’ve just sold on the coat and dress for just a few pounds less than I bought them for. Only you will know not everything was brand new

I haven't rtft,but by from Vinted.

I'll never understand brides asking people to be bridesmaids or flower girls then asking them to pay for it! If you want bridesmaids, you pay. I paid for everything for mine. If you can't afford them then fine, don't ask them. That's just rude.

I really don’t understand people asking others to be flower girls / bridesmaids / matron of honour etc and not paying for their outfit / shoes / hair. If you want someone to be part of your day then why should they be out of pocket?! It’s fabulous your DD is a flower girl and a real honour but everything should be arranged for her. I have been married a few times (😂) and each time I have paid for my bridal teams hair, dress, shoes, handbag, make up, hair etc as I want them to be part of my day. They should not be out of pocket in anyway.

The purple docs seem perfect to me! I wore docs to my own wedding and I also had my normal black wool coat (mostly comes out for funerals) on over my dress (very recent) nobody expects you to buy a special coat. I would buy new tights and if you can afford it a cardigan in either ivory or whatever colour would coordinate with the colours if applicable.

Tights are cheap, surely she can wear shoes she already has and her normal coat

My brother and his wife bought a suit and shirt for my then 2.5 year old despite me expressing reservations he was funny about what he wore.

As expected he refused to wear the shirt and jacket, agreed to wear the trousers with a polo shirt and then screamed when I tried to get him to walk down the aisle!

Thankfully the bride was forgiving!

Not necessarily. Some people deck their toddler girls out like Christmas trees. They’re only missing the tiaras!

am willing to bet she has some cute gold or silver shoes

😂😂😂 What utter nonsense.

In my day yes, but these days? Most toddlers have excellent clothes. All my friends' little girls have sparkly stuff to wear - even my son to a lesser extent.

And if you look on Vinted you will see a multitude of barely worn gold or silver toddler shoes for a few quid.

I don't know. It wouldn't bother me as if she wasn't a flower girl you'd probably be buying her clothes for the wedding anyway?

Because I'm weird, I had a squint at Matalan kids clothes, and you can get silver shoes, cream tights and a cream cardi for £21. Why am I so invested in this?? Why?!

The one at the last wedding I went to was enchanting and impeccably behaved.

I think if you want a flower girl for a winter wedding, you must expect to cover the costs of suitable winter clothing, especially if its expected that there will be outdoor activities/photos....additionally churches can be blooming cold.....either that or you raise the matter with the parents at the time of asking but then you should accept what the parents provide.

You say that as if £50 is nothing, surely you realise that's a lot of money for some folk, and even if it can be managed it's a lot for a one off occasion of a few hours.

YANBU OP, I would have expected the whole outfit to be provided and be weather appropriate for January.

She can't wear grubby runners either though, I definitely would have had to buy something suitable for mine at that age. Which I would have happily done (and bought cheap and brought the runners for after the photos!), but I don't think most 2yos have such an array of footwear that they have something suitable for a wedding already. Shoes fit them for about ten minutes at that age!

She doesn’t need ivory shoes, don’t be daft.

I couldn’t get upset at the price of a hair clip and a pair of tights.
A white cardigan and shoes will be nice for plenty of parties, and surely she can wear the dress again too.

Willing to bet she has gold or silver shoes? A 2 year old?? More likely a pair of sensible Clarks or some grubby trainers

Op you’re missing the bigger picture, she’s been asked to be a flower girl, which is lovely!
She only has to stay in the dress for the ceremony and pictures, once that’s done you can change her into something warmer.

Not really the point but when I got married I got my flower girls shoes, tights etc between dunnes and primark. Worked out about a tenner a child

Then the bride should have factored the cost in.

The only thing that bridesmaids should pay for imo, are things they can wear again, like shoes.
But if the bride wants specific things, she pays

And you don't get married in winter and expect small children to freeze

Is it somewhere warm abroad? Surely if it's Northern Europe, they won't be doing photos outside in January!

I would get tights, shoes and cardi from Matalan. You'd get change from £30, and maybe get a cute hairband as well.