Catering for vegans

Have you not read the whole thread then?

I don't think it's a problem at all. I think it's just as valid as choosing to eat meat. Both choices are equally valid but apparently the OP's husband is a spoilt brat for exercising his right to choose in his own home.

You really don't need any specialist items. Just vegetables etc

You know yes, it's a choice to eat fish, it's a choice to eat dead animals and drink cows milk.
It seems that choosing not to is viewed as more of a problem. Not sure why?

Just say to them outright that they need to bring all of the specialist vegan items as they’re both hard to source and far more expensive. I find it mind blowing that they don’t!

I have significant allergies and things which are safe for me are equally expensive (5 x the cost of the ‘normal’ version or thereabouts). I wouldn’t expect anyone else to buy them!

I agree it is bad manners but so is telling them that their food is like plastic.

The reasoning behind it is irrelevant
It is a choice
They choose to be vegan
They don't have to
They choose to
Dress it up anyway you like
It's a choice

It's a choice, we're discussing it in the context of food here.

They only eat vegan food and they are strict about this - they actually try to lecture us when we are eating meat which we find very annoying

The vegans I know (mainly religious reasons) don't behave like this; the only ones who do are the latest fad variety who are usually the ones to make a huge fuss about what they "don't eat", only to help themselves to something inappropriate with a silly smirk and an "Oh this doesn't count"

With the first type I'm only too happy to cater (got some brilliant recipes from them too )- with the second they're invited once and then not again

No it's not it's an entire lifestyle choice so skincare toiletries furniture clothes shoes

Again, veganism is a dietary choice, driven by a variety of factors.

Nole

'Veganism is a choice. Most vegans could safely eat meat, they just choose not to, for various reasons (health, ethical, misinformation). Clearly that's their choice. It's also ok for someone to choose to eat meat.'

Again, veganism is not a dietary choice but an ethical lifestyle. It's not for health or diet alone - that would be a plant based diet.
It's about opposing animal cruelty and abuse in the industry and by not killing or using animals for food, and often for reducing harm to the environment.

Nole
What is your point exactly?
Omnivores have no restrictions.
Vegans don't eat dairy eggs meat fish etc.
So if they are away from home vegans need to either take food, cook food or be catered for.

But equally if they’re inviting themselves they shouldn’t be making your lives harder.

So much to unpack in this scenario!

Definitely you could be asking them to bring some oat milk or similar if none of you drink it.

I would skip the things they hardly touch like vegan cheese - if it’s not an ingredient in meals then I guess they didn’t feel the need of it.

Your husband is part of the problem in that he insists on meat - so in many ways he’s the difficult eater in this scenario as otherwise everyone could just eat the same food. It’s quite easy to make a vegan meal that everyone could enjoy like a curry with coconut milk or a bean chilli or similar.

Otherwise the suggestions of vegan sausages and mash with a meat sausages option for Mr Fussy could work?

Or do a curry two ways he if really has to have meat.

I do that every day as DD is vegetarian and DS has alot of dislikes in terms of veg (ADHD with sensory issues so just “fussy”) and don’t find it very difficult to do the same thing two ways.

People who invite themselves regularly should be bringing their own things. They sound like cheeky fuckers who happen to be vegan

The best thing to do is not go out of your way to buy things that you wouldn't buy if the vegans weren't coming. Loads of "normal" food is actually vegan - boiled vegetables for instance.

Make your meal as usual and give them parts of it that are still vegan, e.g. if you're doing a roast you could give them stuffing balls, carrots, sprouts etc. whilst everyone else gets the meat and potatoes and other good stuff. (They can have potatoes too if you don't use animal fat in basting.) Tea and coffee are vegan, just let them have it black.

Do this and they'll soon get the message, either they need to contribute or stop coming.

Excellent and well thought out post @kiraric
Like you I cater for my guests, but then we only have people to stay that a) we have invited and b) that we want to see.

If hosts and guests aren't prepared to respect each other dietary choices than maybe the visitors should stay in an airbnb or similar and just meet up with their friends for a meal out instead.

I'm not sure what you think you're explaining tbh.
Veganism is a choice.
Vegetarianism is a choice.
Meat eating is a choice.
Neither choice is better or more important.

It's still not up to others to accommodate you.

That's one dinner. You're not going to eat that every night. 😬

Steamed vegetables dressed with olive oil and garlic, baked, boiled, mashed or roasted in olive oil potatoes. Chick peas or lentils for protein.
Add meat for the carnivores. No special, highly-processed "vegan" alternatives.

I eat mainly vegan. It's not a big deal and I never buy the UHP vegan cheese or other gimmicks.
Lots of good ideas above about blended meals. And let them bring their own disgusting (and expensive) cheese.
The thing I'd really object to is them lecturing you. They come to your house several times a year and feel it's appropriate to tell you what to eat? Forcing their views on you is just plain rude.
Any chance of reducing the visits to once a year - or never?

But myself and my vegan friends all know it's a restricted diet and have to make do/ go without as needed especially when not at home eg travelling as a lot of snacks / food etc have milk or egg in them.

Nole
Yes it's a lifestyle choice but not like choosing chips over jacket potato. It's an ethical choice not just about diet choosing to oppose harm to animals (and the environment more recently).
It's now recognised as a protected belief system similar to religious belief.